The Racketeer
by DreamingXxx
Summary: SEQUEL TO CROSSING PATHS Dougie has been given a task to do from The Racketeer, a task that'll change his life forever. Shawna has moved away from the hell that used to be her home, and tries to make her life as a single mother. Shawna and her son's lives are in Dougie's hands, and they have no idea. Will Dougie be able to save them on his own?
1. Prologue

**Here it is, guys! Finally! Sorry about the long wait, my wi-fi broke so I've been unable to upload. But now it's back, and I promise to update as often as I can. Update's will probably be slower now, because of my GCSEs though.**

**I own everything, except for McFly, sadly.**

* * *

Shawna sighed as Lee left for work and looked down at the sleeping toddler in her arms. It was time. Time she did what she promised herself she'd do a year ago. She put James in his crib and packed a bag for the both of them. She was going away. She took all the money she had and caught the first bus to London. She was going to finally do it...

She might find Dougie... No, she wouldn't. London was massive. Even if she did, he was famous now. He wouldn't give her the time of day. Besides, she wanted to do this on her own. She was a strong, independent woman, who didn't need help. That's why she turned down his offer two years ago.

She sighed as she held James close to her, and watched out th window as the bus drove away from all she ever knew, from her home... that was never_ really_ a home...

She was finally away. Free. And had absolutely no plans whatsoever.

* * *

Dougie watched his friends laugh and joke about silently. He had grown to be like this. Quiet. Stuck in his own mind. Deep in thought.

He was going to be a murderer.

He was going to jail.

They had no idea about the secret inner-battle he was going through. That two lives were in his hands... well, three, really.

He was to kill a man, and save two lives; or let the man live, and two lives were terminated as a consequence. He brought his knees up to his chest, watching as Danny was trying to dance, but failing. He shrunk into a ball, hoping to shrink small enough to disappear. To become invisible.

* * *

**So, there! As you can probably tell, this story will be slightly darker than Crossing Paths, but I'll try not to make it ****_too _****depressing :)**

**Sorry it's so short, but hey, it's only the prologue!**

**Please Review! It makes me happy :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Two adds in one day! Well, two short adds. I had no school today 'cause of snow, so I've had a lot of time on my hands :)**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Dougie, happy birthday to yoooouu!" my friends drunkenly cheered, making me blush at the attention they attracted at the pub.

"Hip hip!" Danny started, making me groan.

"HOORAY!" the rest shouted.

"Hip hip!" Danny continued.

"Guys, that's enough." I tried to stop them.

"Hey, it's now officially midnight, which means it's the end of November 30th, which means... Dougie can finally, officially, legally drink his drink!" Jess grinned.

"Yay!" I rolled my eyes, taking a swig.

"How does it feel, to finally be an adult, Doug?" Ivy asked.

"Well, I'm only two minutes into it right now, so I can't tell." I laughed.

"Damn! That girl's fit!" Harry pointed at a blonde.

"Pull 'er then!" Danny nudged him, earning a slap on the arm by his girlfriend, Gemma. Yes, they're _finally_ together. "Ow!" he rubbed the bruise.

"Ay, where have Rachel and Ryan gone?" Adam asked.

"Probably to fuck in the toilets." Ivy smirked.

"You are so _crude_!" Giovanna scolded her.

"But it's the truth." I said.

"Probably, yeah." Giovanna agreed.

"Anyway, I'm going to try my luck at pulling, I shall see you all tomorrow." Harry stood up from the table we were situated at.

"Go on then, playah!" Ivy rolled her eyes.

"Just don't catch any STDs while you're at it, I'm sure that won't go well with the press!" Tom shouted after him, making us all laugh.

"Oh, piss off." Harry rolled his eyes, and disappeared.

The past year was a high. We've soared into fame with the band, and our group got even tighter. I was eighteen, and finally an adult, and it was legal for me to drink alcohol... although that made absolutely no difference in my life

But there was still_ one_ thing that bugged me:

The letter that my cousin was meant to deliver me a year ago, was always in my pocket, haunting my mind 24/7. The Racketeer. If anyone else gave me that task, I wouldn't take it seriously, but The Racketeer was one of the most powerful men in all of England. More importantly, he was the leader of both the gangs in Crackstreet, and they would do _anything_ he told them to - the soul reason for the rivalry was because they fought for his favour. John Dale, obviously lost, and was now going to pay. And I was the one giving out the wages. The thought made me want to throw up, but I knew that if I didn't... murder John Dale, Shawna and her son would be dead.

I had four years left.

Four years, to save two lives, end another, and then spend the rest of my life behind bars.

The worst thing was pretending to be normal around my friends. They had no idea, and it'll stay that way. I couldn't have them knowing. They'd make me go to the police, and anyone who grassed The Racketeer, were terminated. End of. He was the God of Crackstreet. Everyone worshipped him, but were scared shitless of him. He kept people he liked safe, and the ones he didn't mysteriously disappeared.

I went home 1am that night, and took out the letter. I looked at it everyday, to check if it was really real. It was. I prayed each time that the contents would change, but it didn't. Wishful thinking. I sighed and walked out to the back garden and sat on the patio, lighting up a cigarette.

Yeah I was smoking again. Stress, y'know. No one knew, of course. No one knew about the dark side of my life anymore. No, not even Danny, and I used to tell him every single thing.

No, no one should know.

This was my problem.

I'll deal with it myself, take my punishment silently.

I took a drag and looked up to the sky. I wondered if I did something in some past life to make God hate me.


	3. Chapter 2

**Ok, so first things first: This chapter contains quite a bit of self-loathing here, and implies use of self-harm, and some pretty dark thoughts; and after reading Unsaid Things, I felt very uncomfortable writing this, seriously, but I promise nothing too bad will happen. If you're uncomfortable reading this kind of stuff, don't read.**

**There, you have been warned.**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Danny_

I woke up with one hell of a hang over. Dougs' birthday party was great. I stumbled down the stairs, nursing my head and went over to the kitchen where the most beautiful woman in the world was making breakfast.

"Good morning sweetheart, how's your head?" she greeted me.

"It hurts." I mumbled.

She laughed at me and hugged me, "There are some pain killers in the cupboard, you'll need 'em."

I nodded and pulled out of the hug and went to get them.

"Dan... have you noticed something... different, about Dougie these days?" she asked me slowly, careful with her words. I frowned. Truth is, I had. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I knew Dougie would tell me if there was something wrong... but I was beginning to doubt that.

"Yeah... he's just probably finding it weird... y'know. All of this." I shrugged, not believing myself. She sighed.

"Yeah, I guess so. Now come on, breakfast is served." she smiled, but my mind wasn't thinking of my girlfriend's excellent cooking. It was on my troubled best friend. I frowned, and made a mental note to visit him later. I didn't want him to suffer on his own, and I wished he'd tell me what was bothering him, as there obviously was something.

* * *

_Dougie_

I knelt by my bed. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and took out a black case from beneath it. I sat on the floor, cross-legged and stared at it. It was delivered to me by one of The Racketeer's goons a few weeks after I opened the letter. It's contents made my stomach churn. My heart beat heavily as I clicked it open. I closed my eyes and opened them again to see the silver pistol.

I panicked.

I quickly shut the case and shoved it under my bed again, scrambled to my feet and ran backwards to the other side of my bedroom and leant against the wall, breathing heavily. I was sweating, but my skin was cold. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to calm my breathing, trying to will my heart not to burst out of my chest. I slid down the wall to the floor, and my head fell into my hands.

It wasn't fair.

I peeked through my fingers and looked at the bed. Under it, hidden from view was a killing machine. One that I had to use. I was supposed to end someone's life. I nearly killed John Dale before. I mean, I've beaten the guy to a pulp, and used a knife against him and everything; but all those times, I was mainly on the defensive. To actually go and consciously _murder_ the guy... that was _completely_ different. And I felt sick even thinking about it.

"Doug?!"

Shit. I shot to my feet and scrambled to the mirror. Crap, I looked awful. I went to the bathroom and locked the door.

"I'm in the bathroom! I'll be two minutes, Dan!" I shouted back.

I took a shaky breath and opened the cold water tap and splashed some on the water on my face. I leant heavily on the counter, trying to calm my erratic breathing. I looked up at the mirror, and I didn't see myself in the reflection. I saw a pale faced guy, with recently dyed dark hair, a lip ring and bags under his eyes, from sleep depravation.

My new image was just a reflection of how I felt. I wasn't recognisable to myself. I _wasn't_ myself. I sighed and dried my face. I was also much thinner, my appetite was completely lost. I took one more glance at myself and ventured out, putting on a false smile that my face had grown so accustomed to putting on recently.

"Hey, dude." I grinned at Danny who was sat in my kitchen, flicking through a copy of Kerrang! magazine.

"A'ight mate?" Danny looked up from the magazine.

"Yeah, fine." I lied, "Where's Gem, thought you two were stuck to each other now?" I smirked.

I think I deserve an Oscar for the amount of acting I've done in the past year.

Danny glared playfully at me, "She's at work." he then looked back down at his magazine.

"So I'm your second choice of people to hang out with? What happened to 'bros before hoes'?" I pretended to be shocked.

"Shut up!" Danny rolled his eyes at me. He then closed the magazine and sighed, "Doug... are you_ really_ alright? You seem a bit off lately."

Damn, he's getting suspicious.

"Dude, I'm fine." I shrugged it off.

"Ok... but you know you can tell me anything, right? You're my best friend, you can trust me." Danny said sincerely.

"I know, Dan, and if there was anything wrong, you know you'd be the first to know about it." I lied. Again. But it seemed to work, because Danny let it go.

"Ok. Let's play some XBox then!"

And that's what we did all day, with some junk and some booze. Your average eighteen year old's day. Although, I was hardly your average eighteen year old.

After Danny left, I sat on the sofa, stared into space, for what felt like hours. I was an empty shell of what I used to be. I was happy once, as a child, and then again when I moved away from Crackstreet. But now, my demons came back to haunt me. I stared at my wrists, and traced old scars, four year old scars from when I went too far, hit the lowest point I ever had in my life. Was I going lower?

I mentally shook my head. I wasn't weak anymore. I wouldn't deal with this like that. I was strong. I was going to pull through.

I was going to do this.

* * *

The next few weeks went by. I grew more and more anxious. I needed to sort my head out. I was getting unnecessarily paranoid and nervous. I was letting myself get back into a hole I thought I left. I was confident I left.

The scariest part was:

I didn't have much desire to get out.

I mean, if you think about it... If I didn't exist, no one had to die. The whole issue would be solved, and everyone would be happy. It's the perfect solution. The Racketeer wouldn't have to kill Shawna and her son, and I wouldn't have to kill John Dale. It's simple really. Plus, what use was I really. I was meaningless, easily replaceable.

So that evening when I got home I walked to my bathroom, and pulled up my sleeve again, and stared at the old scars. I nearly left the earth back then... how much easier would it be if I had? I glanced at my razor and took a deep breath.

* * *

**Please don't hate me, I feel awful enough as it is :(**


	4. Chapter 3

**So yeah... it doesn't get much darker than this, I promise... although it will still be pretty dark, but I think this is one of the worst chapters.**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

"So anyway, I thought to myself: how's my good friend Dougie? We haven't talked for a while, and that's why I'm here." I stared at an over-enthusiastic Jess.

"Are you ok?" I asked her slowly.

"Perfectly fine." then her massive grin turned to a frown, "But you're not." she said bluntly. I sighed.

"Jess, I'm alright, _trust me_." I said, looking into her eyes. God, I hated lying. "I'm just tiered. This music business really takes the energy from you." I smiled lightly.

"Alright, if you say so." Jess shrugged. That's what I liked about Jess, she let things go quite easily.

"So, how's the shop doing?" I asked her.

"Oh, fine. Ivy's doing great, she seems to enjoy the job. Peter quit though, so I'm in the middle of looking for a replacement now." Jess sighed.

"Why did he quit?" I frowned. Peter seemed alright.

"Oh, his wife got pregnant and he needed a higher paying job. Completely understandable." Jess said nonchalantly, "Besides, who'd want to work at a music shop for their whole life?"

"What do you want to do then?" I frowned. Jess never expressed her dreams, I always thought owning a successful business was her dream.

"Well, I do love the shop, but I've always wanted to make a difference somehow, y'know?" Jess shrugged, "Meh, 'snothing."

"Well, you made a massive difference to me! Without you giving me that job, I don't know where I'd be now!" I said truthfully. If Jess never gave me that job, I'd have never learnt to play the bass, and I wouldn't be in McFly.

"Aw, Dougie!" Jess hugged me quickly, then pulled away and sighed, "Now I better go back to the store. I don't trust Ivy alone there."

I laughed, "Hurry up then!"

She quickly said good bye and was out.

I then went back into my mood.

I took off my hoodie, and looked back down at my wrists. I traced the fresh wound that was only two days old and winced. At first it made me feel better, now all I felt was pain. It shocked me back into my senses, and I knew that that wasn't the way to deal with the shit in my life. I knew I didn't want to go down that road again. It may seem easier, but it would only cause more trouble in the end. I didn't want to go back to the hospital, and have to explain myself, and have to make up more lies.

No, I would have to do this the hard way, and the way that was going to make me wanted for the rest of my life.

I curled up to a ball on the sofa and gulped. I felt like an helpless child.

I needed to talk to my dad.

I didn't know why, but I felt a strange desire to go to prison to talk to him, the first time I felt like I should since he got locked up three years ago. I sighed. I knew I had to go. At least he could give me advice on how to be a heartless monster, and how to commit murder. At least he could forewarn me on what it was like in a cell. At least he could see that even though he thought I'd 'changed sides', and turned into a first class 'richie', I was still stuck. Just like everyone else ever involved with The Racketeer.

Boy, was I in it.

And just like every other teenager. I needed help. And the only person that couldn't judge me was my dad.

* * *

_Tom_

"Honey! I need some help here!" I heard Gi's voice clearly from upstairs. I got up from my spot on the sofa and hopped up the stairs to our bedroom, where Giovanna was struggling to retrieve a cardboard box from the top of a cupboard.

"What are you doing?!" I frowned at her, going to get the load off her.

"I'm looking for some old books I want to re-read." she said simply. I rolled my eyes at her and put the heavy box on the bed.

"Why?" I asked her confusedly.

"Well, I just like to re-visit my childhood every now and again." she shrugged, and went to search through the dusty books in the old box, "Things were so much simpler back then."

"Tell me about it." I sighed. No matter how much I loved the band, and the success, and the boys... I did miss the good old days back when none of the complications existed... before my dad was murdered.

"Oh! I love this book!"

And with that I had lost Gi for the evening.

I sighed and decided to pay Dougie a visit. That boy had grown to be more anti-social than he was before, and I felt like he was deliberately distancing himself from every one. He probably wasn't used to the fame, and felt pressure from the public scrutiny.

I walked up to his front door and waited for it to be answered. I didn't have to wait too long before I was greeted by a tiered-looking Dougie.

"Hey Tom." he let me in.

"Hey mate, how are you?" I asked him.

"Alright." Dougie shrugged, rubbing his arms.

I froze.

* * *

_Dougie_

Shit. Shit. Shit. I forgot to put the hoodie back on. Tom's eyes were glued to my wrists, and I knew he was probably going to yell at me, and tell every one, and force me back to a freaking clinic. I wanted to push him out of my house and slam the door in his face and pretend that this never happened, but I - just like him, was frozen.

I stared at his face and watched as his expression morphed from a face of shock, to concern. He opened his mouth to say something and I panicked. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I leant against it and breathed heavily. My razor stood proudly by the sink and I shook my head.

_Why was I so stupid?_

"Doug! Doug!" Tom knocked frantically on the door. "Doug! Please, can I just talk to you?"

I moved from the door and looked in the mirror. I hated the reflection. I hated myself.

"Doug! C'mon! Please, don't do something stupid!"

I was angry. Angry at how stupid I was. Angry at The Racketeer. Angry at myself.

"Please. I want to help you!"

Tom was growing helpless. I was as well.

"Dougie!"

I angrily brought my fist up and smashed the mirror. Pieces of glass flew in every direction, cutting at my skin. I felt a sharp pain on my right hand, and looked down to see my hand covered in blood, drops of it on the white floor. So much blood... it was everywhere. My head stared to spin. Everywhere I looked, I saw red.

"Dougie! Let me in right now!" Tom shouted, a hint of desperation in his voice now.

I stared hopelessly at my hand and cried. The blood was coming out of nowhere.

"Dougie, for fucks' sake! Let me in right now before I knock this door down."

I was getting dizzy. I opened the door, and avoided looking at him.

"Fuck! Doug!" Tom gasped. He grabbed my hand and examined it, "What happened?"

"Punched the mirror." I mumbled, wincing at the pain. My head was spinning

"You're gonna have to go to the hospital." Tom said.

"No!" my head snapped up to look at him, the spinning worsenned.

"But D-"

"No! No, you can't make me go back there!" he couldn't. No, no way in hell! No!

"What?"

"You can't make me go back there!" I panicked. I started chanting in to myself, closing my eyes. _He couldn't. He couldn't. Couldn't. No! No! No!_

"Dougie, calm down." Tom held me by the shoulders. I sobbed for a while silently.

"Everything's so fucked up." I said, and everything went black.

* * *

**Well! That was fun! **

**Please review x**


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry this chapter is so bad. I wrote it in a bit of a rush and couldn't be bothered to read over it. It seems most of it ended up to be dialogue. Oh well.**

**You have no idea how much it saddens me to say; I don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Tom_

Dougie's eyes closed and I just caught him before he fell to the tiled floor. I was worried sick. I had no idea that he was this bad. I had to tell someone, but I knew that by his hysterical state earlier that he wouldn't like that. I bit my lip. I had no idea what I should do. I had to do something about his hand, but he was adamant that he wasn't to be taken to the hospital.

I was torn. I wanted to help, but I didn't want to go against his wishes. I carried his unconscious body to his bedroom and lay him on his bed. I rushed to his kitchen and grabbed a large bowl and filled it with cold water. I grabbed a towel and rushed back to his room.

I took care as I rinsed his red, soaked hand, carefully taking out all the glass that I found. I felt sick. Why had Dougie done it? I sighed as I looked at his wrists. Most of the scars looked really old, but two looked rather recent.

_You can't make me go back there!_

I bit my lip. He must've been to the hospital before. He must've been there for this very reason. _But why?_ Why did he do it? What made him go into this state?

As those thoughts floated around in my mind I went to grab another towel and wrapped it tightly around his had. I knew Dougie probably didn't have any bandages around.

I waited for a minute, panicking about what I should do, but he eventually came 'round. His eyes blinked open and he looked around, slowly registering where he was, and what had happened.

"Fucking hell." he muttered, sitting up.

"Take it easy, dude." I told him.

"Why am I so stupid?" he muttered, looking at his towel covered hand, then he looked up at me, "Thanks."

I sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "You can talk to me, you know, Dougie. You should know by now that I don't judge."

"I know." he murmured, "But I also know you wouldn't understand."

"Try me." I told him. He just shook his head.

"This." he indicated at his wrists and hand, "This was all a stupid mistake. I lost control, and it won't happen again."

"Yes, but Dougie... why did you lose the control in the first time?" I asked him. I was seriously concerned... I didn't want to lose him.

He sighed, "I'm not going to tell you Tom."

"It would spare me a few sleepless nights if you did." I muttered honestly. What had happened kept replaying over and over again in my head. I'd never been so scared.

"I beg to differ." he muttered, getting up. He stood shakily on his feet before getting used to it then walked out of the room. I followed him to his bathroom.

"Shit." we both breathed.

Glass was everywhere, along with a massive pool of blood on the floor. Dougie took my by surprise by bursting into tears. I silently hugged him. He needed to stop bottling things in. He obviously needed help, but he wouldn't let anyone close to do so.

"Dougie; let me help you. I won't tell anyone. Whatever it is, you know I won't judge, I'll help. I'm your friend." I said quietly as he sobbed.

"I can't. I'm sorry Tom, but I can't." he pulled away and dried his eyes. "I can't."

* * *

_Dougie_

Tom reluctantly left after helping me clean the mess I made in the bathroom. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't. I sat down on the sofa and unwrapped the towel from around my hand and inspected the wound. I winced as I looked at it.

I needed to confide in someone. I needed to go to prison.

That's it. I was going to talk to my father for the first time since he tried to kill me. How messed up was I?

* * *

Standing outside a prison was a strange experience for me, when I wasn't being dragged in by police officers. I was going there on my own will, and it was weird as hell. I self-consciously kept my head low, with the hood shading my face. I didn't want anyone to recognise me, I didn't want anyone to know I was here. Plus, the press would have a field day, and I don't want to jepordise the band's reputation with no need to do so. I knew I had to eventually, and I knew that the boys would be so disapointed. The press could do whatever to me, but the fact that it would hurt my best friends was eating me alive.

I entered the prison and walked to the police by the desk.

"I'm here to visit Gary Poynter." I said nervously. God, being on the other side of this was odd.

"Alright, we're gonna have to search you." he said, and some guards patted me down and stuff, took off my hood and used those metal detector things on me. They cleared me and I was led to this canteen like place, where a bunch of prisoners were talking to non-prisoners. I was shaking with nerves.

I spotted my dad. He hadn't changed much... but he was thinner. He was speaking to another prisoner.

"Poynter, you have a visitor!" a guard snapped. I winced, getting an insight into the future. Dad looked shocked. His friend left. Dad looked behind the guard and saw me. His face was emotionless as the guard left.

"What are you doing here?" he scowled. I kept my head down and played with the sleeves of my hoodie.

"Getting a look into my future." I muttered, sitting down.

"What the fuck do you mean?" dad snapped, "You're a fucking converted richie, and you're fucking famous now, apparently."

I sighed and fished the letter out of my pocket and gave it to him. I figured it would be easier to just show him. I put my head into my hands as he read it.

"What the fuck did I tell you about getting involved?!" dad exclaimed.

"I was fucking grief stricken, alright! I wasn't thinking straight." I mumbled.

"Well what the fuck are you going to do?" dad asked.

I looked up at him, "What do you think?"

Dad stared at me and sighed, "Of course you'd save Shawna."

"Well, I can't let her die, and especially her son, he's only one." I shrugged.

"Well, you'll have to sort out Dale." dad said bluntly.

"I know." I said, looking at the wall behind him.

"When did you get this?" dad asked

"Last year. A week before my birthday." I muttered.

"So you have little under four years left, then." dad stated.

"Yup." I sighed.

"Prepare yourself, this place is a shithole." dad muttered. He's being surprisingly nice for someone who tried to kill me...

"Great."

"Look... Doug, I didn't mean it when I..."

"Nearly killed me. Yeah. Sure you didn't. Holding me up against a wall whilst _choking_ me was a mistake." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"I was angry. You know I've never been good at holding in my anger." dad said, looking uncomfortable.

"That's no excuse for trying to _kill your son_." I snapped at him. He looked sheepish.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." dad mumbled.

We fell into an awkward silence. I sighed and stood up.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here." I muttered, and turned to leave. As I took a step, dad grabbed my arm.

"No! No! Look, Dougie..." he paused, seeing my hand. "Not again." he said, dropping my arm. His expression was grim.

"That was an accident." I muttered, pulling my sleeves down to hide the marks.

"You'll end up in the hospital again." dad warned.

"No, I won't." I snapped, "I'm perfectly fine!"

And then I left, ignoring my dad shouting after me. As I made my way out of the room I bumped into a teenage girl.

"Sorry." I muttered, making a move to get away, but she looked at me and her eyes went wide.

"Y-y-you're Dougie! From McFly!" she blurted.

Oh fucking hell.

"What, that cunt? Ha! No." I rolled my eyes, "I get that a lot."

"B-But you look just l-like him." she stuttered.

"Well I'm not him, now if you don't mind I need to go." I said and made a quick get-away.

Last thing I needed was a story in the papers that I visited a prison. Good image for a band that would be.

I sighed as I put on my hood again and walked back towards my home. I don't know why I walked, I guess it gave me more time to think. I passed a small park and I froze when I heard a familiar voice. A voice I hadn't heard for an year. A voice of one important person from my past.

"James! Be careful!"

I quickly looked over to the direction it came from and stared in shock.

Shawna Jackson was run after a small, one year old boy.


	6. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry this isn't that long. I've been so busy this week, I swear to God! Stupid revision and Course Work taking up my time! Don't worry, I'll still be updating, even if it means failing my GCSEs... **

**Maybe not to that extreme, but I'll try ;)**

**Don't own McFly, if I did, I'd be in a better mood :(**

* * *

A good couple of weeks had passed since Shawna ran away from hell. She had used all of her money to buy a cheap one bedroom flat in a rather bad side of town, but it was still an upgrade from her old life. She was now job hunting. She was struggling to feed herself and James, but was as determined as ever to make it on her own.

She decided to and look around town. As they were walking, they passed a park, and suddenly James had ran out of her grasp, and towards a playground.

"James! Be careful!" Shawna shouted. She ran after him. As she ran, she swore she saw the one and only Dougie Poynter in her peripheral vision, but when she turned her head to his direction, he wasn't there. She shook her head and dismissed it as wishful thinking. He wouldn't be walking around here, he probably lived further west by now.

Shawna grabbed hold of her son and picked him up as he started to cry, looking over at the playground. Shawna sighed.

"That's for big kids, James, you'll get hurt." she told the little boy. The boy kept crying, though.

They left the park and Shawna spotted a store with a big, fluorescent sign in the window reading HELP WANTED. It was a small music shop. Shawna felt a wave of hope, and hoped the manager wasn't too judge mental.

* * *

_Harry_

I walked over to Jess' shop after a gruelling day of recording. The second album was going well, Tom was an amazing song writer, as were Dan and Doug, and they kept coming up with amazing tunes without fault. Jess was having problems with the shop lately, with Ivy on holiday, and searching for a second employee. Apparently she hired someone last week, and she seemed rather fond of her. I entered the small shop and smiled at the memory of the first time I did, finding Jess, Dougie and Danny sat in a circle on the floor, busying themselves with songwriting. That seemed so long ago now.

I immediately found the new employee. She was stunning, with long dark hair, and the most amazing figure ever, and the brilliant eyes.

"Oi! Pig! What are you doing here?" Jess popped out from the backroom.

"Just thought I'd visit my cousin." I shrugged, hugging her.

"More like to check out my new employee." Jess pulled away rolling her eyes.

I ignored the stares I got from her customers, and went to help her with some boxes.

"You know me too well, Jess." I laughed. We headed to where the new employee was busy sorting some stuff.

"Well, Harry, this is Shawna. Shawna, this is Harry. Oh, and please ignore everything that comes out of his mouth." Jess introduced us. Shawna was looking at me in complete and utter shock.

"Hi, pleased to meet you." she said faintly.

"How are the boys?" Jess asked me.

"Oh fine." I smiled.

"And how's Dougie nowadays? Is he out of his mood?" Jess asked. I saw Shawna take a bit more interest.

"Yeah, he's getting better. Tom's acting a bit strange as well." I frowned.

"Really?" Jess asked, "I'm sure they'll sort it out." she then shrugged, and went to help some customers.

I turned to Shawna, "So, when did you start here?"

I already knew, of course, but she was fit, and I wanted to talk to her. I needed to get layed!

"Last week." she smiled, "I just moved here from Essex a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh really? I come from Essex. Whereabouts you from?" I asked.

"Uh... Crackstreet." she blushed. It was like a light bulb went on in my head.

Oh shit. She can't be. I knew of one Shawna from Crackstreet, and that was the one Dougie mentioned occasionally. The one that had a child. Please, please don't let it be her.

"Y-you're Dougie's ex, aren't you?"

"Yeah." she said awkwardly. Oh God, I found my best mate's ex fit. I wanted to get into her pants. Oh God! This is awkward. But damn, she was something. Dougie's probably gutted he broke things off.

"Well, isn't this a coincidence. You have his old job." I couldn't help but laugh, trying to act rather nonchalant.

"This was seriously his job?!" she looked shocked.

"Yes, that's how I met him." I told her.

"Look, can you please not tell him I'm here?" she begged.

"Why not?" I frowned.

"I don't need to explain myself to you." she frowned. Why was everyone from Crackstreet so stubborn and confrontational?

"Ok, I won't tell him." I rolled my eyes, "But be warned. He comes here often."

That evening we were all at Danny's house. It wasn't often the whole gang got together nowadays, since we were all so busy, and with Dougie being in a weird mood. Tom's mood was puzzling, he seemed always on edge, like something was eating him up from the inside. I just shrugged it off.

Jess was busy talking to Ivy about work, and Adam was talking football with Danny. Rachel and Gemma were ranting to Giovanna about something and Tom was trying to make conversation with Ryan, which was sometimes an impossible feat. I walked up to Dougie who was staring blankly at a wall.

"Hey mate, you alright?" I asked him. I seemed to have scared him as he jumped slightly and yelped in a very feminine tone, making me laugh.

"Yeah, yeah fine." he recomposed himself.

"You were deep in thought then." I laughed.

"Yeah, daydreaming." he shrugged.

"'Bout what?" I asked, nudging him. He glared at me.

"You don't need to know." Is everyone from Crackstreet like this? I could see why he went out with Shawna; they were one and the same.

Tom suddenly walked over to us, looking pale and shaky.

"Doug... can I talk to you?"

Dougie suddenly looked nervous.

"Sure, uh, go ahead." Dougie said weakly. I frowned at the pair and Tom looked at me pointedly.

"Oook, I'll go talk to Danny and Adam." I moved away awkwardly, wondering what the hell that was all about.


	7. Chapter 6

**This is short I know, I'm sorry.**

**Don't own McFly, but if I did, life would be great.**

* * *

_Danny_

"Bolton will always be better, mate! West Brom's shit!" I stressed to Adam.

"Yet again, we're higher in the league!" Adam rolled his eyes.

"Not as high as Arsenal though!" Harry appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, fuck off!" Adam and I snapped.

"Hey, do any of you know what the fuck's up with Tom and Doug? They're being all secret-y and weird." Harry asked.

"Yeah, I noticed that. You think it's about their dads?" Adam asked. Harry and I nodded slightly, it was a possibility, but I knew it wasn't that. It really bothered me that Dougie didn't tell me, I mean, we were best friends and told each other everything, but he was obviously keeping something from me, and it must be something big because he seemed to become quieter, and more reserved by the day.

"They'll be fine. Fighters, they are." Adam shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah you're right." Harry nodded. I wasn't convinced, but didn't say anything. Harry bit his lip for a while before opening his mouth again, "Ok... don't tell Dougie, but guess who Jess has hired!" he's a bit of a gossip, ain't he?

"Who?" I asked.

"Shawna. As in, his ex, Shawna." Harry smirked.

"No!" I gaped at him.

"Yeah! Saw her today. Fit as fuck, mate!" I remembered back to when I briefly saw Shawna when I went to get Dougie from Crackstreet before. She was easy on the eye, even pregnant. Then I sobered up.

"Don't even think about it Judd!"

"Think about what?" Harry asked innocently.

"Don't try and fuck her! She's Dougie's ex mate! An ex that he's still obviously not over!" I told him sternly.

"I wouldn't do that to Doug! Sure I wanted to get into her pants at first, but then I realised who she was." Harry shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. I knew he was still going to go for her.

* * *

_Dougie_

Tom led me to the kitchen and sat me down by the table. I avoided looking at his face. I knew he wanted to see if I'd been cutting, and I had nothing to hide because I hadn't, but the fact that he knew... it terrified me, because he knew my weakness. And I knew he wanted to find out why I did it.

"Uh... Doug... how are you feeling? And no bullshit!" Tom asked, sitting next to me.

"Better." I shrugged, looking down at the table.

"That's good. Better's good." Tom said, then paused, "Do you mind if I..?"

I sighed and held out my arms to him, finally looking at him, "I ain't got nothing to hide."

He pulled back my sleeves, and there were no new marks on my wrists, just old scars, and my right hand was healing as well.

"I'm glad." Tom said, letting me go.

We sat in silence for a while, none of us sure what to say, before I decided to break the silence.

"Tom... I want to tell you... I really do... but you wouldn't understand. This is something I have to deal with on my own." I told him honestly.

"I know, Doug. But I just want you to know that I'll be here if you change your mind." Tom said sincerely.

After I got home that night, I went straight to bed. I knew I had to just go for it, now that I had seen Shawna around. Seeing her the week before have me a reality check. I regretted not going up to her and talk to her, but I was too much of a coward to approach her. I'm too much of a coward to do anything.

That was it. I was going to go to Crackstreet the next week and end all this. I was going to man up, and do my duty, and get the fucking thing over and done with, forever. End the stress, end the worry, end the constant anxiety that possessed me.

It'll be done.

* * *

**The big question: do you think he'll do it?**

**Please review and make a girl happy! :) x**


	8. Chapter 7

**Ok, this is short, but a lot happens :)**

**Don't own McFly**

* * *

The next week passed unbelievably quickly. Before you know it, I was packing a bag to go to Crackstreet. I packed a change of clothes and the case from under my bed. There was no turning back now. I didn't have time to feel nauseous, to feel guilty. I quickly scribbled a note to all my friends and put it in an envelope, along with the letter. I was going to post it to Danny, so they can know the truth. I couldn't bear if they thought I killed a man from my own will.

I sighed, and grabbed the envelope, grabbed the bag, and left my house, locking the door. I firstly made my way to the post office around the corner. My breathing was shaky and I'm sure my body was as well. I knew full well that I wasn't a killer, but some things had to be done.

I kept my eyes on the envelope in my hands as I made my way to the post. I felt like throwing up.

"Dougie!"

I froze in my tracks at the voice. No, not now. I raised my eyes from the envelope and looked at the girl in front of me. I took in her dark hair, which was longer than it was the last time I saw her properly. She was paler, but her eyes shone.

"Shawna." I said, gobbsmacked.

"You look different." she commented. I guess I did.

"So do you." I said. I was in complete and utter shock, I had never expected to see her now of all times. I had to go and kill a guy to save her and her son's life, but she turns up out of the blue.

"You're doing pretty well with the band." she said.

"Yeah, I am."

This was awkward. None of us knew what to say. The last time I saw her she was giving birth, and she declined my offer of letting her stay with me until she got on her feet. Now we randomly bumped into each other on the streets of London.

"How's your son?" I asked, noting he wasn't with her.

"Oh, James is fine. He's grown so much! He can say a few words now!" Shawna's face had lit up. So she called him James; I remembered her telling me she liked the name.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Oh, he's at a babysitter's! I'm going to get him now. I've just left work." Shawna explained.

"Looks like you've sorted yourself all out." I smiled.

"Yeah, yeah I have." she smiled, then shrugged, "Well, on the way to, anyway."

"I'm glad." I told her sincerely.

We lapsed into another awkward silence.

Whenever I pictured running into Shawna again, I always thought we'd be back to normal, how we always were... but we'd both changed so much, and we no longer knew each other...

Well, that's what I thought before Shawna eventually tackled me into a hug.

"I've missed you so much, Dougie!" she cried into my hoodie. I returned the hug, the envelope still in my hand.

"I've missed you too." I said quietly, ignoring the ever-growing lump in my throat, fighting the tears in my eyes.

She just reminded me of why I was so determined in doing this, and if anything, made me more determined.

I was still completely and utterly in love with her; even after our issues, our fights, our three years apart and the fact she has an year old son. Nothing changed the way I felt about her. Sure, I might have hated her for a while, but that never lasted.

"I-I don't know what I'm d-doing! I-I don't know how to live on my own, h-how to handle the pressure." Shawna sniffed, clinging onto me. My heart broke a little, hearing her sound so hopeless.

"I'm sure you're doing fine, Shawna, you're the most amazing girl I've ever met. You're so strong and scarily independent and let's not forget you're stunningly beautiful. You came to London all alone as a single mother, leaving behind Lee, who doesn't deserve shit, let alone you. You're so brave, and I'm pretty sure James will agree with me when I say, you're a brilliant mum." I told her, the most truth I've spoken for a while.

"You're just saying that." Shawna muttered.

"No, no I'm not." I said softly.

"Y-you really think all that about me?" Shawna looked up at me.

"I always have." I murmured.

Suddenly her arms were flung around my neck and her lips slammed against mine. I was stunned for a minute before I registered what was going on and I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her waist. God, I had missed this.

The kiss came to a natural end and we both stood there, foreheads pressed against each other, not quite sure what had happened.

"D-Dougie... I-"

It then hit me full force. Her life was in my hands. I was going to kill a man. If I manage to kill John Dale and she lives, she'll see me as a murderer. She'll see me as my father. I backed away from her, shaking my head. I panicked.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I can't." I started to turn around.

"Dougie w-" Shawna walked after me and grabbed my arm, resulting in my sleeve rising and the scars on my wrists coming to view. We both froze.

"D-Dougie... Please d-don't... Not again. I couldn't bare to see you going through all that again... I-I may have been on drugs, b-but I wasn't oblivious... especially when you were admitted to the h-hospital... I-I wouldn't be able to handle you n-nearly k-k-killing yourself again." she went hysterical.

I hugged her tightly, "I won't Shawna. I promise I won't. It was only once and I haven't done it again, I swear."

Slowly, she started to calm down.

"D-Dougie, what's going on? Please tell me." she looked up to my eyes, still crying.

Now it was my turn to cry.

"D-D'you mind if we went to my place to talk about this... people might over-hear?"

I finally felt like I could tell someone. Someone who would understand.

She nodded and I led the way, physically shaking.


	9. Chapter 8

**Well, this is quick ;) This hasn't been properly edited, so don't kill me if you find that there are mistakes!**

**In this chapter you'll find out a little bit more about Shawna's side of the story so far :) **

**Don't own McFly, but I'm working on it ;)**

* * *

Shawna felt her heart shatter to a million tiny shards when she saw Dougie's wrist. She almost lost him four years ago because of that, and she felt sick to the core when the possibility that that could happen again became apparent.

The truth is, Shawna never truly got over Dougie when they broke up, and when he left Crackstreet after his father was imprisoned, she completely and utterly lost it. She nearly overdosed... that's when Lee found her. Lee helped her get off the drugs; he acted loving, caring, and treated her well. She thought he loved her and she loved him... and she got pregnant. That's when he started to become violent.

When Dougie came back to visit Jazzie's grave, Shawna's love for him came back full force. He might've been bitter to her that time, but she still cared for him deeply. Shawna went straight to tell his old best friends, Nate, Chris and Ben. They'd seen him before, before his mother's funeral.

That night Shawna received a beating from Lee, for moping around after Dougie left once again. Lee and Dougie never really got on.

When she saw him back at the party... Shawna felt heart broken. Dougie never wanted to turn out like his mother, so he always stayed clear of the alcohol, but this time he took it. It took everything for her not to cry, and to help him.

Then she went into labour, and he was the one that helped her through, not Lee. Then it took all her will power not to jump at the chance to leave with him; she knew she had to do it on her own, to prove herself.

Shawna knew that whatever Dougie wanted to tell her was serious as hell, not only because he didn't want to talk about whatever it was in public, but because he'd cut over it, and the fact he had bags under his eyes, and was skinnier. Whenever Dougie had anything on his mind he'd actually forget to eat, and wouldn't be able to get a wink of sleep. She learnt this when his sister died. Even after the grieving, it took him months to sleep properly and eat again.

Shawna was worried beyond belief for him, and she couldn't hide it.

* * *

_Dougie_

Shawna and I arrived my place and her face shifted into a look of awe.

"T-This is where you live?"

I had to admit, to Crackstreet standards, the place was pretty big.

"Yeah," I shrugged. We entered the living room and sat down.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Doug." she had calmed down by now, as had I. But when she said those words, I felt the most nervous I ever had. How was I going to tell her that her and James' lives were in my hands? I bit my lip and kept my eyes on my hands.

"Um, uh... ok. So, y-you know when Jazzie... died? Well... I went to a pretty dark place, as you, uh, know. I was depressed, and angry. I was angry that the man who did it got away with it. He fucking drugged and raped a twelve year old girl, and got away with it! I needed answers. I needed to find out who he was and I needed to get revenge... so... I went to The Racketeer." Shawna gasped.

"Dougie! You know how he is!" she scolded.

"What else was I going to do! I had no one! Dad was always working, mum was drunk, you were stoned. Nate, Ben and Chris were busy beating people up. I had nowhere to go, nothing to ease my mind. So I did the only thing I could think of!" I sighed, "So, The Racketeer found the guy and got a bunch of people to beat him up for me and I got the pleasure of watching. And now I'm paying the price, big time."

"What is he making you do?" Shawna asked fearfully.

I took a deep breath and just said it.

"He's given me an ultimatum. Kill John Dale... or you and your son get killed. "

Silence.

"Please tell me this is a joke." Shawna whispered. She looked hearbroken.

"I-I'll kill him Shawna. I promise you, I'll do it." I told her, looking into her eyes.

"I'I have no doubt that y-you will... but I don't want you to have to do it." Shawna was crying again now.

"But I have no choice." I said quietly.

"I-I'll help you, I-"

"But what about James? Shawna I don't want you to be taken away from him."

We both sat there staring at each other, helplessly, crying because we knew that there was only one thing for me to do. Shawna was thinking about James, and I about both of them.

"It's gonna be ok." Shawna slowly moved over to hug me, and I hugged her back. Although I knew she didn't believe her own words, it still brought me some comfort.

"I wish that was true."

"D-Doug? I know some people... They're trying to take him down, The Racketeer." Shawna said uncertainly, "They want him to get arrested."

"That'll never happen. He's got hundreds of people kissing his ass, and he's not afraid of using them. I bet he has someone watching my house now." I shook my head, leaving her embrace.

"Yeah, but they're getting closer to taking him down." Shawna said determinedly.

"They won't, Shawna. He's too good." I sighed.

"No! No, they'll do it, Dougie!" she always was the more positive one.

I just shook my head. I knew they'd never do it... at least not in time.

"I don't want you to get arrested for something you'd never willingly do." Shawna said softly.

"And I don't want you to die, nor your son. I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt... Shawna, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I practically killed you and James. I-I... Y-you mean so much to me." she did. She meant so, so much to me.

I need to stop being such a fucking cry baby, I swear to fucking God!

Shawna just hugged me again.

My mind was in conflict when it came to how I felt about her. I still loved her, I knew that for sure... but what was going on with us? She kissed me earlier, and now we're hugging... but it was still awkward...

I knew I couldn't be in a relationship with her now, though. The pressure of her life in my hands was too much. I just couldn't.

I just settled to silently hugging her, needing the comfort and familiarity her embrace brought me.


	10. Chapter 9

**This is a bit of a filler, but I guess it's kinda a necessary filler... I dunno, I guess it's relatively important... if you read between the lines...**

**Don't own McFly, never have and probably, as much as it hurts me to admit it, never will.**

* * *

_Danny_

"Gem! Gem! Do you know where my shoes are?" I called out to my girlfriend. The band and I were doing an interview that day, I had no idea what show or when, only that I had to be ready by 11am. The guys don't bother telling me things anymore because I'll only forget it later on anyway.

"Um... have you checked the kitchen?" she walked into the bedroom drying her hair with a towel. God she was beautiful.

"Why would they be there?" I frowned.

"I dunno, Dan, but it's you, so I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility." Gemma smiled.

"Yeah, good point. Thanks love." I kissed her cheek and checked my watch. 10:46. Crap. I rushed down the stairs and just as Gemma predicted my shoes were in the kitchen. Just as I finished putting them on the door bell went off.

"Coming!" I shouted and grabbed my coat. "Bye Gem, love you!" I shouted upstairs and left the house.

I entered the back of the car where Doug, Tom and Haz were already sat.

The first thing I noticed was that Dougie's smile was genuine.

I was so shocked that I forgot to say something after they all greeted me when I entered the car.

"Oh! Uh... hey guys... Dougie, you look happy." I couldn't help but comment.

"Yeah, I guess I am." he grinned.

"Danny... you're wearing odd shoes..." Tom frowned, and I looked down at my feet.

"Shit!"

"Idiot." Harry rolled his eyes. Dougie laughed.

We all froze at the sound of his laugh. That was something we hadn't heard properly for a long time... over an year...

What happened to him?

"Dougie... sorry but... we haven't seen you this... happy in a long time." Harry said slowly.

"Oh don't worry about it. I've got some things off my chest, and it feels good to tell people stuff. Kinda makes you feel free."

"Who did you tell?" Tom asked.

We were all kinda offended that he didn't tell one of us. We were his closest friends, and he didn't want to tell any of us. Not to sound bigheaded, but who was more important in his life than us?

"Shawna."

There was a pause of understanding. I knew that Shawna would always understand Dougie on a deeper level than us. She was there through everything, and more than we've heard of. She was his first everything, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Dougie still cared about her.

"When was this?" I asked.

"Last night. I ran into her when I went for some fresh air." Dougie explained.

"Finally! I can breathe." Harry said, and I remembered he already knew she was there.

"Huh?" Dougie frowned.

"She works for Jess. And before you go ape shit on me, she made me swear not to tell you!" Harry said quickly.

"Why would she do that?" Dougie frowned.

"I dunno. But what I do know is that she's fit as fuck mate! How the hell did you get her?!" Harry asked.

Oh fucking hell, Harry!

Dougie gave him a death stare.

"If you fucking try anything with her, I will fucking kill you!"

"I won't try anything with her, Doug!" Liar.

* * *

_Tom_

I was kind of hurt that Dougie didn't tell me, but told Shawna... but I guess he knows her best. They went out for two years, and seeing that they started dating at thirteen, that's a long time. Also, you can tell she was still on his mind constantly.

After a long, boring interview, we all went over to mine since Giovanna offered cooking dinner. It was a week 'till Christmas #and I was having difficulty containing my excitement# and we were having turkey and then mince pies. The rest of the gang were all going to be there as well. Harry was acting a bit weird after Dougie mentioned Shawna. I have a feeling Harry liked her, and that was a problem. It was bad enough liking your friend's ex, but when that ex was so important - still is, important to the friend, you do not go there. It should be law.

We arrived my place, and everyone were already there. Jess was talking business with Ivy, Adam and Ryan were busy playing my XBox and Giovanna, Gemma and Rachel were talking about some clothes or something.

"We're here!" Danny announced dramatically.

"How was the interview?" Gio asked, hugging me.

"Same old, same old." I shrugged, "Now where's the food?"

"Trust you to think about the food!" Dougie rolled his eyes.

"What, I'm hungry?" I frowned at him.

"Gemma! I wore odd shoes!" Danny announced to his girlfriend.

"Yeah, I noticed that when I saw two odd shoes on the kitchen floor after you left!" Gemma rolled her eyes, "What are you like?" she sighed, ruffling his hair.

"A moron?" Harry offered, earning himself a slap on the head from Danny.

* * *

_Dougie_

It felt good to be able to just... enjoy myself. After my talk with Shawna the night before, I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I decided to take the advice she gave to me before she left. She said to take the three and a half years I had left, and enjoy my life while I had it. I knew she was right. I'll worry about what I had to do, when I had to do it.

I enjoyed spending the evening with my friends and being normal again. Harry was acting weird though, and I had a feeling it was to do with Shawna, which bothered me. I mean... Shawna and I weren't formally together... but what happened last night had to count as something, right?

Ivy and Jess were relieved that I knew about Shawna. They had grown tiered of lying about their co-worker to me. I was annoyed they hid it from me, but I knew Shawna was one of those people that didn't like attention, and wanted to work things on her own pace. She probably wasn't ready to see me, just like when I ran when I spotted her in the park. I wasn't ready to see her.

I was ready now, though. I thought long and hard the night before. I was going to live my life as much as I could in the three years and a half of freedom I had left, and I wasn't going to let her go again.

* * *

**Yay! Dougie's happy! But will it last?**

**Please review, reading them makes me happy :)**

**I'm sad, I know... *sighs***


	11. Chapter 10

**This is up earlier than I expected it to be :) It's half term, so that means no school this week! Which means I'll have more time to write :)**

**By the way, this stroy will get darker again, eventually - just thought I'd warn you. It's not going to be all happy and stuff, I mean, it's me ;)**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!"

"Shut the hell up, Tom!" Harry shouted, making us all laugh.

It was Christmas Eve, and Tom was... well, being Tom, with his childlike love for Christmas.

"Oh! I want to open a present!" Tom squealed.

"Don't! Not until the morning!" Tom's mother was over for the festive time. Tom hadn't told her who exactly I was - the spawn of her husband's murderer, and I wasn't going to enlighten her. She had only just got used to it, poor woman.

Harry's whole family were staying with him and Jess, and he had come over to Tom's for a few minutes of freedom. Everyone else were with their families, except for Giovanna, of course.

My Aunt Jodie and my cousin Charlotte were on their way down to spend the holiday at mine. They no longer resided at Crackstreet, I had given them money to buy a place just out of the city.

"Mrs Fletcher? Would you like some wine?" Giovanna was kissing up to the woman... although, come to think of it, that was just Giovanna being Giovanna, genuinely nice.

"No thank you, love." Mrs Fletcher shook her head, then turned to me, "Dougie, who will you be spending Christmas with?"

"My aunt and cousin are coming down." I smiled.

"That's nice." Mrs Fletcher smiled.

"Actually, I should go now. They should be arriving in about fifteen minutes." I stood up.

"Ok, well it was nice seeing you again, Dougie." Mrs Fletcher smiled.

"You too, ma'am. Bye Gi, Tom, Haz." I called to them and they bid their good byes.

I felt awful whenever I was talking to Tom's mother. Even worse than when I first met Tom. I think it was because she didn't know, and Tom and I couldn't tell her, it would kill the poor woman.

I walked the short distance from Tom's place to mine, in peace and quiet. I felt rather content for the first time in a long while. I needed to think clearly, and for once I was able to. I reached my house was shocked when I saw Shawna arriving the same time I did.

"Shawna, hi." I greeted her. I saw her often after our talk, and we were getting closer.

"Hi," she said awkwardly. I noticed the little boy with her in a stroller.

"This must be James! God he's grown!" I commented. He was tiny when I last saw him!

"Yeah, he has. Look Dougie, can I ask you a massive favour?" she asked nervously.

"Sure." I said hesitantly.

"C-Can I spend Christmas here. It's just that I feel incredibly lonely. I can't face going back... there to face my parents after I just up-and-left." Shawna said shyly.

"Sure you can!" I didn't have to think of my answer.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she chanted over and over again, engulfing me in a hug.

"It's nothing. You'll just have to deal with Aunt Jodie. Her and Charlotte are on their way over. Aunt Jodie got funny on Christmas... all over excited and stuff. She was worse than Tom.

"That's fine! Thank you so much, Doug!" Shawna grinned at me, "You're so good to me, even after everything..." she trailed off.

"Hey, you're good to me too." I told her. She got me through the phase when I thought alcohol was the solution, and through dealing with the letter.

"So what time should I come over tomorrow?" Shawna asked.

"You might as well stay the night here, I mean, I have room." I shrugged. She looked surprised.

"Are you sure. I mean, James has a nasty habit of waking up extra early." she bit her lip.

"I bet you Charlotte'll be up before him." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok then, um, I'll go pack some over night things." Shawna grinned, "Thank you so much, Dougie." and she walked off.

"Some things never change."

I spun around to see Aunt Jodie there smirking at me. Charlotte was shaking her head.

"What?" I asked innocently, trying to hide my blush.

"You're too good for her, Doug." Aunt Jodie pat my shoulder.

* * *

Shawna set James down on the living room floor while she rushed around the apartment, packing an over-night bag for her and him. She was incredibly grateful to Dougie for letting her stay. He was way too good for her, she thought. As she packed, she came across something she almost forgot she had.

It was a picture, a picture that was taken before any complications, before any substance-abuse, depression, family problems and death. Shawna felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the young, thirteen year old couple that looked so happy.

She wanted that back, so, so much that it hurt. She wanted that happiness again. She wondered if she would find it with that very same person that was in that picture.

* * *

_Harry_

My family is down right insane, I'm telling you.

"THOMAS! STOP HASSLING KATHERINE!" my mum was screaming.

"Oh, for the love of God." Jess was rubbing her temples.

My Uncle Keith was snogging my Aunt Maggie (Jess' parents), which was disturbing, and my older - yes,_ older_ - siblings were wrestling. My dad was absently watching his football, unfazed by it all. My grandparents were upstairs, retreated to bed, although how they could sleep through this, I don't know. Must be plenty of practise.

My mind drifted to Dougie. Christmas must be hard on him, only with an aunt and cousin to spent it with. He seemed alright at Tom's earlier, though. At the thought of him, my mind drifted off to Shawna. Was it wrong to want your friend's ex? Especially when said friend is obviously still in love with her? Every time I saw her, I faced the mental battle - to ask her out, or not? Would Dougie be angry? Of course, but was it worth it? Doubtful. I sighed. I knew that Dougie and her had that connection, though... a connection that I'd never, ever have with her.

I knew I had to back down, but would I be able to?


	12. Chapter 11

**This one's mostly just a conversation, sorry. Sometimes when I get into dialogue, it can go on forever!**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Dougie_

A couple of hours later my Aunt Jodie was doing a Tom: she was singing every Christmas song ever made.

"All I want for Christmas, is YOU!" she sang loudly.

"Oh my God, _mum!"_ Charlotte put her head in her hands, "She hasn't even had anything to _drink!"_

Shawna was playing with James on the floor, looking happy. James was one adorable kid.

"Charlotte, it's only until tomorrow." I reassured my cousin.

"Oh God, I don't even want to _think_ about how she'll be then." Charlotte sighed.

"Doug! Does my ass look big in this." Aunt Jodie had taken all the tinsel off my tree and had used it to dress herself. And yes, it is weird to ask your nephew if your ass looks big in something...

"No." I lied.

"Mummy I twierd." I head James say, hugging his mother tightly.

"Ok, let's put you to bed then." Shawna stood up, holding the little boy in her arms, she then looked up at me, "Where can I put him?"

Hadn't thought of that.

"He can sleep in the stroller, just where..."

"I have a spare bedroom on this floor, I suppose that would be the most convenient." I shrugged, standing up, leading the way.

"Thank you, again, Dougie." she said.

"It's nothing, really." I shrugged. I picked up her bags from by the door and brought them with me to the guest bedroom.

* * *

"Wanna bet they'll be together by the end of tomorrow?" Jodie smirked, "Dougie so wants to bed her."

"Mum!" Charlotte covered her ears.

"It's true, though!" Jodie shrugged.

"That may be so, but I don't want to hear my mother say it!" Charlotte said, appalled.

* * *

_Dougie_

I watched as Shawna set James into the stroller. He was nearly fast asleep. I set the bags down by the bed, and watched as she made sure her son was comfortable. She then turned around to face me. No words were said as we silently just stood there, watching each other. We heard Aunt Jodie's slightly manical laughter from the other room, and Charlotte's complaints. The room was dark, and we could now hear James' heavy breathing.

"Dougie... I- I..." she sighed. "I know you said before... that you didn't believe that anyone could defeat the Racketeer... but what would you say if I told you that a guy I know has a guy that's in?"

"Huh?" I frowned.

"They've recruited a double-agent, not just one either, but three." Shawna whispered. I had to admit, I was impressed.

"How can they be sure to trust them?" I asked quietly.

"They're trustworthy... just slightly twat-like. You might remember them, Nate, Chris, and Ben."

I gaped at her at the mention of my old friends.

"When did they even get _involved_?" I hissed.

"How the hell should I know, they just are. They've always been dicks." Shawna shrugged.

"How do you know all this anyway?" I frowned.

"I'm kinda... in." Shawna said.

"What? But Sh-"

"Dougie, can you think of another way to get free?" Shawna looked at me pointedly.

"Well..."

"See? I was involved before, but after you told me... I've been even more involved. And take my word on it, Doug, they're close, _real_ close." Shawna whispered.

I sighed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am." she said.

I bit my lip, "Ok, then, I'm in."

Shawna did a small squeal and hugged me.

"We'll get him, Doug. We'll get him." she murmured against my chest.

"Let's hope so." I muttered, rubbing her back.

I kissed her softly, getting lost in what used to be. I missed this so much, just the feeling of closeness. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close.

I broke off the kiss and felt like I had to say it.

"Shawna... I- uh, have a confession to make." I said nervously, "I never stopped loving you."

Her head snapped up to look at me, "Dougie... I-" here comes the rejection, "I never stopped loving you either." or maybe not.

"Doug! Where's your beer?" Aunt Jodie had to ruin the mood.

"No! Mum!" Charlotte groaned.

"Doesn't matter I found it!"

Shawna giggled into my chest, "Your aunt's something, aint she?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Doug..."

"Hm?"

"Love you." my heart swelled.

"Love you too." I kissed the top of her head.


	13. Chapter 12

**Well, this is pretty long. Although, it is a bit of a filler, I guess. A long, long filler. I'll get to the plan to take down The Racketeer soon though, I assure you ;) Just needed to get all this out of the way! Then we'll be back on track with the rest of the plot. This is actually heading to be a lot longer than I thought it would be!**

**Ok, I'll stop rambling now.**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Tom_

I ran down the stairs straight into the living room, with a wide grin on my face.

"Oh for goodness sake, why so early?" mum trailed after me, rubbing her eyes.

"Because it's _Christmas_!" I jumped up and down in excitement.

"Ok, ok, calm down, boy." Giovanna giggled, appearing behind my mother.

"Can we open the presents? Can we? Can we?" I asked, staring at the pile under the tree. God, I wanted to open them!

"Go on, then." mum rolled her eyes.

"I'll go make some tea for us all." Giovanna smiled as I sat next to the tree, grabbing the nearest present eagerly.

* * *

_Danny_

"Vicky! That's mine!" I snatched the present from my older sister grumpily.

"Hey! It's Christmas, be nice!" mum said from her place on the sofa.

"Hey, I am, it's the _popstar_ you 'ave to worry 'bout!" Vicky muttered, glaring at me.

"You're the one who stole my present!" I frowned.

"Behave!" mum snapped, "Or I'll take_ all_ your presents!"

"Yes mum." Vicky and I chanted.

It was great to see my mum and sister again and everyone up north, although, I could do with seeing less of my sister... I really missed them, though. This was the first time I saw the properly since I moved to London. I wished they came back down with me, but they both had commitments in Bolton.

I was silently worried about Dougie, Christmas has to be hard on him, since he had no immediate family to spend it with...

* * *

_Dougie_

"James! Keep that out of your mouth!" Shawna was stressing over James. Ivy had bought him some blocks, and he insisted on eating them. It was weird, Shawna's co-workers were some of my closest friends, and I never realised before. Small world, eh?

"Hey, you calm down. I'll watch him." I told her.

"Are you sure?" she seemed hesitant, watching James wearily.

"Yeah, go get something to eat."

Charlotte had woken us all up at 6:30 am, and had insisted that we all open our presents before anything else! Yeah, no food, drink, toilet, nothing. Aunt Jodie put on Christmas tunes full blast as we all sat cross-legged by the tree, opening presents.

"Ok," Shawna gave in, and I pecked her on the lips before sitting down on the floor next to the little boy, who was now content with building a tower. It didn't take long for the tower to fall over though, and the little boy cried.

"Hey, hey, it's ok!" I said quickly, and pulled the boy onto my lap. He stopped crying and pointed at a little teddy bear. "You want the teddy bear?" I asked him, and not expecting an answer I reached over and grabbed it for him. The little boy clung onto the teddy bear and started singing to it. I had to admit, that was cute. Suddenly the bear was flung to the other side of the room. Kids get bored easily.

"Wead!" James pointed at a Mr Men book. I was slightly relieved, I thought he said something else for a moment. I frowned, wondering if he was even old enough to understand then shrugged, figuring I should just keep him happy. I grabbed the book and opened it, and started to read.

"Oh! I love this book!" Charlotte hopped into the room and sat opposite me and James. I gave her a look. She glared at me, "I'm a child at heart, 'kay?"

"Yeah, I know, you woke me up 6:30 this morning because you wanted to see if Santa came." I rolled my eyes.

She gasped and reached over and covered James' ears.

"Not in front of children!" she hissed.

"He's _one!"_ I said, pulling her hands from his ears.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Aunt Jodie screamed "I'LL GET IT!"

"I feel sorry for whoever's on the other side of that door." Charlotte sighed, then ordered: "READ!"

I rolled my eyes and got back to reading.

"Doug?" my head snapped up to see Harry there with the most confused expression on his face.

"Oh, hey dude, what are you doing here?" I asked him, ignoring the fact that James had now stolen the book from my hands and was using it to hit my face.

"James, stop hitting Dougie!" Shawna sighed, picking him up from my lap and taking the book off him, "Thanks, Doug." she then added. I stood up, feeling awkward on the floor.

"I came because my family is mental. What are you doing here, Shawna?" Harry said, looking... jealous? Nah.

"Oh, Dougie was kind enough to take me in." Shawna smiled at me.

"Least I can do." I shrugged, "Oh, and mate, if you think your family's mental, spend a few minutes here."

"DOUG! THE TURKEY'S BROKEN!"

"The fuck?" I rushed to the kitchen, where Aunt Jodie was holding the leg of a turkey next to the bird, who was missing a leg. Sighing, I made the connection. "Just cook it with the turkey, it won't taste no different." I sighed.

"But it's broken." she said sadly, acting like a six year old.

"It'll break more in your mouth." I rolled my eyes, feeling like a parent, "Just put it in the oven."

I re-entered the living room to Shawna sitting on the floor, teaching James how to say stuff, and Harry sitting on my couch.

"Hey, dude." I sighed, sitting next to Harry.

"So, what's up with you and her?" Harry murmured, indicating between me and Shawna.

"Uh... yeah, know how she was my ex? Yeah, not anymore." I said sheepishly.

"So, you're back together?" Harry asked dumbly, and I nodded, my eyes now looking at my beautiful girlfriend, laughing with her son.

"Does it weird you out though, that he's not yours?" Harry nodded at James.

"No, it doesn't." I shrugged. Truth is, it did a little, but I knew that she had the right to be with Lee, just like I had been with other girls.

"Doug, can you watch James for a minute, I'm gonna go change." Shawna handed me the little lad.

"Sure." I kissed her on the cheek and she went.

"Usually, when couples just got together, they're all over each other..." Harry frowned.

"Dude, I dated her for two years before, we've passed that stage." I rolled my eyes at him, "And anyway, I prefer this stage." I shrugged honestly. Harry gaped at me, "I mean, sure all that was great, but now I get all that and she's like a best friend as well. I mean; I love her, man."

* * *

_Harry_

I was so jealous of Dougie. First, because he spent Christmas with Shawna, then because he and Shawna are now together, and now because... I'll never get what they have together. I mean, they've _passed_ the stage of constant sex! That's something I've_ never_ accomplished before. The fact that they're_ in love_. The fact that, despite not being together for nearly three years, they _still_ love each other. They probably 'made love' now, and had those midnight talks and had inside jokes. They'd stay up all night watching movies and she wore his shirts. They'd go for a walk in the park with James and took turns pushing him on the swing. They'd go for walks on the beach and watch the sunset together.

It was bad enough, with Tom and Giovanna and Rachel and Ryan in that phase when we first met, and now Danny and Gemma plus Adam and Ivy were nearing it, and Dougie and Shawna are in it. Why can't I have it?

Dougie and I discussed the band while Dougie also tried to keep James happy on his lap when Shawna returned, sitting next to Dougie. God she was fit. Dougie then handed James back to her and stood up, announcing that he was going to change. They kissed briefly before he walked upstairs. I was surprised I hadn't turned green.

"So, you and Doug, huh?" I asked Shawna.

"Yeah, happened just last night." she grinned. They sounded so genuinely happy, "He told me he still loved me, and I told him I still love him. He's too good for me, seriously, he is." _No, you're too good for him._

Then my phone rang. I excused myself and went out to the hall to answer it.

"Merry Christmas!" Tom's overly happy voice sounded.

"You to, Tom." I rolled my eyes.

"You heard from Doug? I've been trying to call him?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, I'm at his house right now. Probably didn't hear his phone." I said.

"What are you doing at Doug's?" he asked.

"My family's mental. Needed a break." I explained.

"Oh, ok, although Dougie's aunt..."

"Is insane, I know." I smirked, hearing the woman singing at the top of her lungs from the kitchen.

"So how is he?" Tom asked.

"Fine. Him and Shawna are back together." I announced.

"Really? Have to admit, I saw it coming." Tom said, as always, all-knowing.

"Yeah... apparently they both still love each other." I rolled my eyes.

"Harry... you're not going to go after her, aren't you?"

"No."

"Good because... I know you like her... but dude, Dougie's _in love_ with her. Like, you may think she's 'fit', but Dougie finds her beautiful." Tom says, "And you'd probably shag her, and then leave; Dougie'd make love to her and then sleep with her in his arms for the rest of the night. Dude, don't ruin this for Dougie, he genuinely loves her."

"I know... and I hate to say it dude, but I'm jealous. Jealous of what they have, at what you, Danny, Ryan and Adam all have. Why can't I have it?" I sighed.

"You'll get it, in time. Now go home and hang out with your crazy family. It's Christmas dude!" I could hear him smile, I swear.

When I hung up, I was startled to find Dougie standing awkwardly at the top of the stairs. I knew instantly he heard everything.

"You, uh, heard that, then?" I coughed awkwardly. He nodded and continued down the stairs. "I won't ruin it for you Doug, I swear." I told him sincerely.

"I- I know, dude." he nodded briefly, not meeting my eyes. Knowing his anger problems, I think I was lucky to be alive.

"I promise I won't. I'm going to go back home. Have a good one, yeah?"


	14. Chapter 13

**I probably won't upload as often from now on, since I actually want to do well in my GCSEs :)**

**Don't own McFly**

* * *

_Dougie_

"So what, this Carson guy just started it all because he wanted revenge? Revenge for what, though?"

Shawna was telling me all about the gang that was trying to take down The Racketeer. They had a weird way of doing things. All the members knew Carson, the head, but no one knew the other members, nor who they were. It was a way to keep everyone safe. If The Racketeer caught one of us, we wouldn't be able to tell him who the others were, and what their missions were. That rule applied to everyone, except for Nate, Ben and Chris. Everyone needed to know who they were, so they were properly informed. Shawna had Carson's permission to tell me, since she told him I had some 'issues' with The Racketeer. Shawna also told me that he older sister, Kimmy, was involved.

"The Racketeer used to use his sister as... well, a whore." Shawna said.

We were sat in my living room, late on Boxing Day. My aunt and cousin had left by now, and James was sleeping.

"Wait, his sister wasn't Aimee Crystal? The whore that used to sleep next to the school with a bottle in her hand and a smoke in her mouth? Who the year 7 boys would stare at?"

"Yeah, apparently The Racketeer made her like that. She used to be brilliant. Got all As in her A Levels." Shawna sighed, "Just like Pete ruined me, and Lee." she added quietly.

Pete was a drug dealer. Worked for The Racketeer, of course. Tried to lure me in as well, a few days before my sister's death... I remember it like yesterday:

* * *

I was walking home from school, well after chilling at Nate's for the evening. We'd played Call of Duty there, since he was the only one with a PlayStation. The only one who could afford it.

"Hey, you're Poynter's kid, ain't ya? Dougie, right?"

I froze in the alleyway, and spun around to find the local drug dealer. Pete Nichols. Stank of pot every time I saw him. Shady guy.

"Yeah." I shrugged. I knew where this was going. "What's it for you?"

"Mate, you look like you can use a pick me up." Pete noted, smiling his slimy smile at me. He was too close to me, and I backed away.

"Yeah... no." I turned around.

"C'mon, mate, first batch free. On me." Pete was persistent, chasing after me, "You'll feel _so_ good."

"Yeah, and then feel shit, so no thank you." I muttered, trying to shake him off.

"C'mon..." he touched my arm.

I spun around and glared at him. "I said no, so why don't you fuck off?"

"Dougie!" I spun back around at my sister's voice, "Mum said to look for you, dinner's ready."

When I turned back around, Pete was gone.

* * *

That was back when mum gave a fuck, well, enough to try and keep us alive. Before the alcohol took over. I never thanked Jazzie for that. Saving me from Pete. Because if I knew Pete, he was good at fucking people up. He would've probably got his claws in me if it wasn't for her.

"Shaw, they didn't ruin you, not completely anyway. You're better now." I said, grabbing her hands.

We were sat cross legged on the floor, facing each other, in front of a fire, and despite the subject we were discussing, I never felt so... content. I felt like there I was meant to be, with her.

"Yeah... yeah. Carson wants to meet you sometime. Properly enlist you." Shawna said, looking at our joined hands.

I winced, remembering when I joined the gang back home. Nate, Chris and Ben made me, I didn't particularly want to, not at thirteen. My views changed at fourteen, though, but that was something else. At thirteen, I was completely reluctant to joining up, but when rumour spread that John Dale, my enemy joined, I decided to join the opposite gang, in pure spite.

* * *

My hands were sweating. I rubbed them against the material of my jeans, anxiously. I didn't want to seem scared, although I was shitting myself. We were walking to Gav's house, the head of the gang. Chris and Nate were talking animatedly the whole time. Ben went with his brother, Matty.

We entered the house.

"Ah, Doug, com'ere mate!" Gav greeted me. He pulled me in for a 'manly hug' and the next thing you know I heard a click of the safety being switched off on a gun and felt the barrel press into my back. My heart skipped a beat.

I knew this was a test. To prove if I was hard enough. I knew I had to pass. I knew the rest were watching.

I did the only thing I could think of.

I kneed him. Where it hurt.

I knew there was a large chance he'd shoot my back with that move, but luckily, his hand slipped, and the bullet went into the roof. Gav dropped to his knees in front of me, nearly crying in pain. I felt bad, being a lad, I knew how much that must've hurt, but I couldn't apologize.

"You dick!" one of the older members I recognized, but didn't know the name of at the time grabbed my collar and held me up against the wall.

_Don't. Show. Fear._

I mustered all the strength I had and pushed him off me. That took a lot of strength, trust me. I was a scrawny thirteen year old, while this guy was a big guy in his twenties. The guy's eyes flared in anger and humiliation and went to punch me, but I got there first. The guy nursed his face and looked at me in shock.

"You got some guts, kid." he spat. I just silently shrugged.

"Welcome in, Dougie." Gav stood up, looking impressed. I grinned, and looked around the room at all the other members, and I caught a pair of blue eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. She was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

"Hi, I'm Shawna."

* * *

"Looking forward to that." I muttered.

"He won't try to kill you, he's not like Gav." Shawna smiled re-assuredly.

"When does he want to meet me?" I sighed.

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I can do that." I said, feeling kinda sick.

_Don't. Show. Fear._


	15. Chapter 14

**I think this is the longest I haven't updated for, I think! Sorry, I'm just ultra-busy with school. As well as school all day, I have some after-school sessions as well, ****_and_**** homework; so after all that, I don't have much time to write.**

**Anyway, I've managed to come up with this. **

**I'd like to thank everyone that reviews, they make me smile :)**

**This hasn't happened. It's purely fictional... I can only dream to own McFly.**

* * *

"Hey Dan." I answered the phone.

"Hey, mate! I'm getting ready to go back down to London town! Missed you and the guys! Especially Gemma..." Danny said on the other line.

"Dude! Man up!" I rolled my eyes.

"So Haz told me you and Shawna are back together." Danny said, and I could hear the smirk. Harry. I felt bad that he liked Shawna, and that me being with her must be hard for him, but hey! I got there first, man! Like five years ago!

"Yeah, so?" I said defensively.

"I'm happy for you, man! So how was your Christmas?"

"Yeah, good. How about you?"

"Vicky is a bitch! As in, seriously! But it was nice to see the rest of the fam. Looking forward to seeing you guys so we can write some songs!"

"Yeah, dude, we should seriously get that next album done." I said. We'd been working on it for months now.

"Yeah, well, gotta go catch a train. See ya in a few hours, mate."

"Yeah, sure mate. Bye."

I was stood near a park waiting for Shawna to turn up, she was going to take me to Carson's house, which apparently was in London, since The Racketeer would have less chance knowing about it here.

I stomped the cigarette I was smoking out, and just in time before I saw Gemma. That girl would kill me if she saw me smoking.

"Hey, Dougie!" Gemma noticed me and smiled.

"Hey, Gem." I smiled at the blonde.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Meeting Shawna." I said, noticing my girlfriend in the distance, "There she is now actually."

"Oh yeah, I heard you were back together. Good on you." she smiled.

"Just got off the phone to Dan. He's catching a train back now." I told her.

"Oh really? Oh! Here he is now!" her phone started ringing, she looked up at me, "I'll see you around, Doug." she said and I said good bye, just as Shawna arrived.

"Hey," I greeted her, kissing her cheek.

"Hey, who was she..? I've seen her around, just..." Shawna frowned at Gemma who was talking animatedly on the phone a few steps away.

"Oh, Gemma. She's Danny's girlfriend." I explained.

"Oh! Yeah, that's right." Shawna nodded.

We were silent for a moment before Shawna suddenly embraced me.

"Look, I'm not going to lie, Carson can get a little... short-tempered. Please be careful." she whispered.

"I can take care of myself." I said, ignoring the fact I hadn't been in a street fight for nearly three years and probably a little rusty, but I hadn't been in a street fight before I joined a gang at thirteen and did well to get in.

"I know. I've seen plenty of your brawls." Shawna let go of me, smirking.

"Where's James?" I asked her.

"With the babysitter." Shawna sighed.

"When's Carson expecting us?" I asked quietly.

"In half an hour." Shawna murmured. She looked nervous enough for the both of us, when it was the other way 'round the other night. Something must be wrong...

"What's up?" I frowned at her, "You look like you could throw up at any minute."

She anxiously looked around at the people walking around. She bit her lip, grabbed my hand and pulled me across the road and to a dark, secluded alleyway that was empty, "Look, Carson called me last night, and told me not to tell you this, but I have to. I can't go in there, knowing what's going to happen and you're clueless."

I had a bad feeling about this.

She took a deep breath, "Doug... he - Carson's a good guy. He really is, but with the growing number of people getting involved with The Racketeer, he has to be careful. And you're famous, you can bring attention to the gang, make it so that we're caught. Carson needs to see if you're worth the risk... I've told him that you most definitely are, that he just needs to ask anyone in Crackstreet, they all know who you are..."

"Shawna, just say it." I said sternly, grabbing her hands.

"He's planing on... drugging you and tie you up and lock you in the basement and then make you break your own way out." Shawna said, looking at the wall behind me.

What? What on Earth did that have to do with anything, with catching The Racketeer. Sounds like this Carson guy just wants to have some fun with the famous kid. Little shit head, thinking he could get away with doing that to me!

"Are you being fucking serious!"

"Yeah. I told him he was being a fucking idiot, but he wasn't listening to me!" Shawna exclaimed.

"Fuck him. Little shit thinking he can get away with this! Like hell, he's gonna drug me!" I snapped, "Wait 'till I get my fucking hands on him, I'mma-" Shawna restrained me from what I was unaware I was doing.

"Whoa, dude, thought you got over anger management." she raised her eyebrows. I frowned and realised I was just about to punch a wall. I blushed and relaxed. She smiled and hugged me, "Don't let yourself become your old self." She murmured into my chest.

Shawna was right. Although we were happy together back before our main problems took over, we still had issues before then. Mostly because of my anger issues, which weren't bad, but sometimes took over. After moving away, and making new friends, they had died down, although I didn't notice until Shawna pointed it out just then. If the old me found that Harry had a thing for Shawna, Harry would be hospitalised.

I calmed down and hugged her back, leaning my head on hers.

"Thanks for telling me, Shaw." I murmured, kissing the top of her head, then checked my watch, "We should go, now."

Shawna's news had really unsettled me, and now I was the more nervous one, again. I anxiously let her lead the way. She gripped my hand tightly, in reassurance, although who was she trying to reassure, me or herself, I don't know.


	16. Chapter 15

**Sorry, the ending of this chapter is a bit shit. After this, things will move quicker, and there'll be a bit more action, as well as drama :) I'm looking forward for that, because I find it easier to write.**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Dougie_

We arrived in front of a house, and Shawna stopped, and sighed.

"This is the furthest I can come. He won't let me in with you." she said, looking anxious.

I stared up at the house, feeling sick. Shawna said what he'll try and do to me... but then again, I don't know how he'll drug me. I knew I had to prove my worth now... Try and be quick.

"Be careful." she said softly.

"I will." I kissed her softly and walked towards the door.

_Don't. Show. Fear._

I knocked three times and waited nervously for the door to be answered. A minute passed before the door opened to reveal a short, tanned man I remembered briefly from my childhood.

"Dougie," he grinned and let me in.

"Carson," I nodded faintly at him.

"I'm glad you've decided to join us." _Yeah, I'm sure you are._

"_Someone_ has to take down the bastard, and I want to be a part of that." I muttered.

"I'm glad." he said.

He led me through the dirty house and to what I took to be the living room, that was bare of furniture except for two sofas and a small TV. He sat down and I took that as a sign to do as well, on the opposite sofa. The house stank of dampness.

"Tea? Coffee?" he asked.

I know where this is going. Was he really that stupid? Everyone knew before you joined a gang you didn't accept anything from them.

"No thank you." I said, smirking, "I've just had some."

"Oh, but you must." Carson said, with a hint of desperation. A sign of weakness, desperation. Desperation means they'll lose control, and control is important, especially in this line of work... or, more appropriately, crime.

I sighed, "Carson, you and I both know how this business works. Do you really think I'm that stupid?" Carson gaped at me in shock. "I'm not some pretty-boy popstar, you know - actually, you _should_ know. I've been in this business since I was _thirteen_. You think I'm no good, go ahead and try something; but we both know, if I was no good, I'd either be in prison or dead by now."

Carson was frozen in shock. I had him there.

"Poynter, you know we have to take extra precautions, I mean, you're famous, therefore will attract attention." Carson said slowly...

Then unexpectedly, he lunged at me. Shit. I reacted quickly and pushed him off me. He had a needle in his hand. Bastard. He reached out his arm with the needle, ready to insert it into my skin, but I was too quick for him and knocked the needle out of his hand. He gasped and scrambled to his knees to get it from where it had rolled under the sofa. I took this opportunity to pull him back to his feet and twisted him so that he had his back to me and held his wrists like he was handcuffed.

"Still think I'm not worth it?" I asked him through gritted teeth. I had to admit, I was impressed with myself, and with Carson. He had surprised me, but not enough.

"You've got quick reactions, boy, I give you that." he muttered. I let go of his wrists and pushed him so hard he tumbled to the floor, face first. I put my foot on his back to hold him down.

"So, am I in?_ I_ think I'm in..." I smirked.

"Y-You're in." Carson gasped out.

"Good." I muttered, and walked out of the house.

Shawna was still stood there. She was looking away from the house, but I could tell by her stance she was scared. I smirked and walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She yelped and jumped around to face me, her hand on her chest.

"Fuck! You scared me!" she scolded. I laughed.

"Thought I would."

"That was quick!" she commented.

"Yeah, taught the prat not to underestimate me."

* * *

_Tom_

Giovanna was out with Jess, Ivy and Rachel when Harry and I were sat in my living room, drinking some of the wine I was given on Christmas. He was really caught up about Shawna being with Dougie, but I think the biggest issue wasn't that he couldn't get Shawna specifically, but because he was lonely.

I personally was glad Dougie got with Shawna again, because I knew how dark of a place Dougie was before she came back into his life. It was like she had given him a new life. I talked to Dougie after Christmas, and asked to see his wrists, and they only showed faded scars. And now when he smiled, it actually reached his eyes. And Shawna was so beautiful. Obviously, she didn't compare to Gi, but she was incredibly pretty.

It dawned to me that she was the girl some of the people from school called 'the hot girl from Crackstreet'. I think I caught a glimpse of her once in school actually... of her and Dougie...

_Why did I stay behind for sixth form, I'll never know. It was thr first day back at school after the summer and Giovanna was happily talking to her friend, Marcy, so I was stuck with Marcy's boyfriend, Will. It's not like Will and I didn't get along, but we came from two different spectrums. He was sporty, and captain of the football team, and I was a musician and geek; therefore, we didn't really hang out, or have anything to talk about._

_"Oh! Dude! The hot girl from Crackstreet's still with her boyfriend." Will's friend, Aaron groaned._

_"Why do you even care? They're two years younger than us anyway." Will rolled his eyes._

_I looked at the girl. She was really pretty I have to say. She had long dark hair, and bright blue eyes. She was giggling happily in a boy's arms. A boy with short blonde hair and blue/grey eyes, who held an aura of danger. He seemed to be whispering stuff into her ear, making her blush. Anyone could tell they were going to last. They looked head over heels, but tough as nails._

_"Doug! Doug!" three boys ran up to the couple. The boy sighed unhappily and turned to face the boys. They were obviously from the bad side of town, their uniform said everything. Their white shirts were more grey than white, their ties were practically undone and their trousers were so baggy it was amazing they stayed up._

_"What?" they boy, who I took to be Doug, asked them, frowning. He still had his arm around the girl._

_"Gav needs ya tonight, and you Shaw." one of the three told them._

_"For what?" the girl, 'Shaw', asked._

_"What do you think?" one of the boys muttered, and they walked off._

_Then the bell rang._

_"See you break time," Shaw smiled at Doug. The kissed quickly and she walked off. Doug stayed there a while, then reached out to grab his bag from the floor, and I remember the shock of when I saw his wrists._

How did I not realise this earlier. Of course they were Shawna and Dougie! Of course we went to the same school. There was only one school in town! (It was a small town, with a big division) And Dougie's wrists... they were covered in scars, were the older ones he had now from then? They looked pretty fresh back then, a bright red, and a lot more numerous than they were nowadays. He must've been 14/15 then... and wasn't that the year his sister died? I remembered a big buzz in school about it when I was in year 11, of a girl murdered in Crackstreet, but I thought nothing of it... seeing that it was the usual in that area... but of course, it made perfect sense for it to be her. Was that the reason for his... self-harming? I frowned... and his thing against going to the hospital... was he admitted there before because of this?

I have to confront him about it...

"Tom? Tom, you there mate?" Harry was waving a hand in front of his face. I forgot he was there!

"Sorry, Haz, I was thinking. Got lost in my thoughts." I confessed.

"What were you thinking about?" he frowned.

"How Doug and I actually went to the same school. I had no idea, but I just remembered catching a glimpse of him once." I said, leaving out the scars.

"Really? Ha! Let me guess, Shawna was there as well?"

"Yeah. Everyone from my side of town knew her as the hot girl from Crackstreet." I smirked, "Doug was envied by every single man. Yeah, back then he had really short hair that he spiked up though."

"Ha! Did he get trouble? From older guys wanting Shawna?" Harry asked.

"Oh, no! No one from my side of town went near the ones from Crackstreet. We'd have been killed. Dougie in particular held an aura of danger about him." I explained.

"Oh yeah, nearly forgot about hard, Crackstreet Doug." Harry remembered, paling, "I should probably stay away for a while."

"Why?" I frowned.

"He heard me, on Christmas, when I was talking to you on the phone." he confessed.

"Harry, he's changed now, not nearly as angry." I told him.

"Still, I'll give it a few days." Harry muttered. I rolled my eyes.


	17. Chapter 16

**I don't like being too busy to write :( Anyway, I managed to write this up, and I hope it's ok. This is basically just a chapter to enable me to start writing the end. Not that the end will come up soon, there's still a lot of the plot to go through :)**

**I really enjoy writing Dougie's character in this, because as Madbuff pointed out in her review, it's amusing to think of him beating people up and being all tough-like... and I'm starting to ramble on now.**

**Anyway, I'm going to carry on dreaming that I own McFly. Gosh, imagine that, ****_owning_**** McFly... the things you could do...**

**That sounded dirtier than I intended it to.**

**If you haven't noticed, i'm a little hyper today. Now I'm going to get on with this chapter before this author's note becomes bigger than the chapter itself.**

* * *

_Dougie_

I sat in my bedroom, examining the letter for the billionth time. I couldn't believe I was one step closer to bringing The Racketeer down. It might be a small step, but it was better than being on standstill... and knowing for certain that I had to commit murder. I knew there was a chance we wouldn't catch him in time, but it helped to know that there was a chance we would, and I would avoid killing a man. The only thing I really needed to do at the moment was to keep everything hidden... especially to the press.

I was sat, cross-legged on my bed, staring at the letter, when Tom unexpectedly entered my room, scaring the crap out of me.

"Dude!" I jumped, quickly shoving the letter under my duvet.

"I was knocking on the door for ages, so I checked if it was open and it was. Sorry." Tom apologised.

"Don't do that again!" I glared at him.

"Yeah, anyway, I wanted to talk to you." Tom said, looking awkward.

Oh, no. He was going to bring it up again.

"About what?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Well... yesterday I remembered something... from school."

Forgot we went to the same school...

"What about school? Except for the fact Mr Grey's gay... which was so obvious mate." I said casually.

"Yeah, I know!" Tom exclaimed, "But that's not what I want to talk about. I remember once, you were in year 9, and I saw you and Shawna in the corridor, then the bell went, and you went to grab your bag, and your sleeves... Doug, I know that _that_" he noted at my wrists, "Wasn't a one time thing, and by your reaction before, you've been hospitalised because of it. Now I'm not here, to lecture you, and force you to let me help you; because I know Shawna has made you much happier, but the question is, why did you do it? And last time, _she_ wasn't enough."

"Well... last time _she_ was high nearly 24/7." I muttered, playing with my sleeves, "Tom, I'm better now. Shawna has helped with the issue I was struggling with."

"The issue in the letter you were with right now?" my head snapped up. Shit, he saw it.

"Dougie... please, just tell me? I promise I won't tell anyone." Tom begged. I just shook my head.

"Tom... you don't understand." I said quietly, looking at my hands again.

"Then _make_ me understand, dude."

"You don't understand. Once you're in, you can't get out. You didn't grow up like I did. It's like one big massive cult. Taboo. I made a stupid fucking mistake because I was a grieving mess who wanted revenge. He does something for you, you do something ten times worse for him, it's how it works." I rambled aimlessly.

And of course, the light bulb went off in Tom's head.

"N-Not The-The _Racketeer_?" Tom gasped. He was so notorious, the news of him carried to the naive residents of the other side. I nodded silently. "Dougie!"

"I know, I know. It's fucking stupid." I snapped, looking up at him.

"What... what did you ask him to do?"

"Find the bastard that did what he did to Jazz and made sure he payed. Then got the prick arrested." I said.

"And... what does he want you to do?" I stayed still and silent for God knows how long. Should I tell him?

"Kill a guy." I muttered. Tom gasped.

"B-But... Dou-"

"I know, I know. I shouldn't even consider it, but then The Racketeer has done what he got his name for." I muttered. Bloody Racketeer with his racketeering.

"What has he... what _will_ he do, if you don't?" Tom asked softly.

I looked him in the eye.

* * *

_Tom_

He looked heartbroken, and distressed when he spoke those last words, looking me straight in the eye.

"He'll kill Shawna and James."

My heart broke for him. I knew that Dougie loved Shawna with everything. She was his everything. He had no one, except for her in reality. Sure he had the group, his aunt and cousin... but no one he trusted like her. I knew, that for him, there was only one option.

"Dougie..." I hugged him, and I felt him break down.

That was the time I knew the extent of the division throughout our lives. Of course Dougie would see me and Gi as naive, innocent and ignorant. We we're when it came to the harshness of reality. I realised just how sheltered our lives were. We knew nothing of the brutality Dougie went through. My first taste of true loss and harshness was when my father was murdered. My sister died, but I was too young to truly know the feeling then. Dougie's true taste of harshness was when he was much younger.

"Dougie... it'll be ok... just go to the police." I tried. Dougie pulled back and laughed bitterly.

"What, and get arrested for what I did? Plus, The Racketeer has too many connections. If I grass, I'll get killed. Simple as. And trust me, he'll know. He _always_ knows. Doesn't matter anyway." Dougie muttered, "I've joined a group that're planning on taking him down. Shawna introduced me to them. They're getting closer."

"Are you sure that joining a gang is a good idea?" I was sceptical. Gangs were good at corrupting things.

"Trust me. They'll take him down." Dougie said bitterly, drying his eyes, "I'll make 'em."

I suddenly saw a stricking resemblance between his fourteen year old self and his eighteen year old self, a resemblance that disappeared on his seventeenth birthday. The aura of danger was back.

I guess, in a way...

Dougie was back.

* * *

**Yay! Dougie told Tom! Will Tom tell the others? Will the gang take The Racketeer down? Will Dougie be able to keep his membership to the gang away from the press?**

**So much to question on!**

**I'll shut up now.**


	18. Chapter 17

**I'm in a good mood today because yesterday I found out that I've done really well in my January exams! Yay! I'm one step closer to passing my GCSEs! **

**Ok so here's an add for you from me :) I've actually finished this add a while ago, and I'm actually in the middle of writing the next one, its just that I've been busy so I haven't had the chance to actualy upload it. But expect the next one this weekend. If it isn't up this weekend, I give you permission to yell at me.**

**Thank you all for reviewing and following and favoriting and whatever, I feel like I don't thank you enough so I'm going to try and do that more often! Really though, you're the people that keep me writing :)**

**And now for that usual bit that has to be on every add. Things still haven't changed since the last add. I still don't own McFly, or anyone else you might recognise. This is purely fiction that comes out of my seemingly rather messed up imagination. **

**These author's notes get longer every time! Right, on with the fiction!**

* * *

_Dougie_

Carson had texted me saying that Chris, Nate and Ben were getting details on the inside. Apparently The Racketeer had just sent people to watch me, since he had expected me to kill John Dale instantly so he's getting worried. This made a massive amount of pressure on me, since it meant I had to be extra careful with the gang, and also, I was super busy with the band, working on our new album and keeping up with all my friends.

Two weeks passed where I didn't really hear anything. Carson was working out a few leads, and the other gang members who were still in Essex were on watch. Shawna was busy at the shop and being harassed by Jess and Ivy, and of course with James.

Rachel and Ryan were moving forward with their never-ending engagement, and set a date. They're only 21 and getting married. Tom was thinking about taking the next step with Gi as well. How they could be so sure amazed me... yet again, they grew up surrounded by perfect families.

Tom kept giving me looks now. I don't know why I freaking told him a thing... but I guess it's better that he knew. I don't know if I should tell everyone else... they'd freak out. Plus, we were working really hard, and we needed to keep focused. No time for worrying.

I was sat in my living room, randomly strumming a guitar, when Shawna entered with a shopping bag.

"What's in the bag?" I frowned. They couldn't be James' stuff because he wasn't with her.

"Just thought I'd come over before picking James up. I bought you some stuff." she said brightly, handing me the bag. I frowned and looked into the bag and found some blonde hair dye. I raised my eye brows at her. "That look's depressing." she said bluntly, ruffling my hair, "And you need to eat and sleep more! Stop worrying, yeah?" she kissed my cheek.

"'Kay, mum." I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, Doug, you've lost quite a bit of weight." Shawna bit her lip.

"I know." I admitted.

"This will all pass soon enough. Have you heard from Carson lately? He's planning on bringing us all together. He didn't tell me personally, but according to Kimmy he is." Shawna changed the subject. If you ask me, Shawna's sister Kimmy was more than a gang member to Carson. The woman knew everything!

"That must mean that we're close." I murmured.

"Yeah, see, I told you." Shawna smirked.

"Yes, you did." I grinned and kissed her, pulling her down onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. The kiss deepened and she wrapped her arms around my neck and shifted so that she was straddling me. This didn't happen often, we were so busy, and when we did have time together, James was there. The little guy was awesome, seriously, but I'm still a teenager, technically, and I'm a_ guy_. My breathing was shallow as we pulled away for air, and I started kissing her neck.

"My _eyes_!" Danny's northern voice broke us apart. Bastard.

"Oh come on, mate, you and Gemma practically_ hump_ each other when you _know_ I'm around. What are you doing here?" I asked him, hiding my frustration. Shawna buried her face in my neck.

"Tom sent me to tell ya that we have an interview tomorrow morning, and to be ready 6 am."

I groaned. The one down side of the job: The morning interviews. "Ok, fine. Thanks." I said.

"Yeah, see you in the morning dude, being grumpy as hell. You two may resume shagging each other now." Danny smirked.

"Fuck off Jones." I glared at him, and Shawna gave him the finger, as she started kissing my neck. Oh fuck.

* * *

_Danny_

Never, had I ever seen Dougie like that with a girl before. It was fucking weird to see. I always thought of him as a baby brother, but then I walked in on Shawna and him in the middle of getting into it. That was weird. I mean, since I knew him, Dougie had never had a girlfriend. Sure he went with girls... but he hadn't ever since... well, since he was sixteen. I think that was because he tried to forget about Shawna, and thought he hated her, but then he saw her, and helped her in labor, and his love must've resurfaced. It was obvious ever since I knew him, he was still in love with her, or he would have gotten a proper girlfriend. I mean, he ain't ugly.

Gemma was pacing around our bedroom when I arrived back home, looking anxious. I frowned, worried. Gemma was always happy, never grumpy, and _never_ anxious.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked her.

"Oh, it's nothing." she said, stopping her pacing, and smiling weakly at me.

I raised my eyebrows, "I may not be smart, but I'm not_ that_ stupid."

She shook her head and sighed, "Danny, it's nothing, really."

"Then why were you pacing the room, looking anxious?" I asked her.

She sat on her bed, and put her head in her hands. "Danny... don't get mad. My... my ex, he's in town. He... he saw me, earlier, while you and the guys were in the studio, and... He tried to kiss me, but I ran away. I'm scared he'll find me again and something happens." she said, looking up at me in the end, tears running down her face.

I sat down next to her on the bed and hugged her tightly. "I'm glad you told me." I said softly.

"I don't want him, Danny. I don't want him to try and force me."

"He won't. And if he does, he'll have _me_ to answer to... or I might set Dougie on him." I smiled, and she giggled softly.

"Yeah, Dougie'll show him." she agreed, then kissed me softly, "I love you, Danny."

"I love you too."

* * *

**Yay to new characters coming in... or nay, in Gemma's ex's case. You shall find out their importance in the not so distant future - if I don't get off track, which is what usually happens with me and my fictions... I'll shut up now.**


	19. Chapter 18

**Told you I'd have this up within the weekend! :) This is longer than I thought it would be as well. **

**Don't own McFly or anyone else you might recognize. This is completely made up by me.**

* * *

_Harry_

Two weeks passed, and slowly things were becoming close to normal with me and Dougie. He was surprisingly good with me, not flaunting his relationship in front of me. I was so glad it was calm, post anger management Dougie who had found out about my crush on Shawna and not the Dougie I first met, or I wouldn't be breathing right now.

We were in the middle of recording our album, and things were going great. Giovanna was at the studio that day, and she brought brownies! Yes, Gi! Dougie still looked slightly troubled, but it looked like something else was bothering him now. But whatever it was, it wasn't near how troubled he looked before. Before, he looked beyond paranoid, and almost ill. Shawna had forced him to dye his hair back blonde and he looked so much healthier. He looked less tired and was eating more again. Tom was right, she was good for him, and he deserved her more than me, and loved her more.

We had eaten all of Gi's brownies before we went to finish recording a little song called I've Got You. We were in the middle of it, when I noticed Fletch enter the room where the producer and Gi were and we were signaled to stop playing. We frowned and walked into the room.

"What's up?" Tom asked.

"Dougie, what's this?" Fletch handed Dougie a magazine, with a picture of Dougie and Shawna together on it and Dougie cursed loudly.

The article read:

_DOUGIE MCFLY'S MYSTERY GIRL_

_Dougie Poynter, aged 18, from the band McFly was sighted in North London with a mystery brunette. The couple was seen getting cozy in a park last Saturday. It seems like quiet little Dougie has finally found himself love, after tagging along behind band mates Tom Fletcher and Danny Jones who have long since found love, and Harry Judd who is known as the band's womanizer._

_Reports say that Dougie was also seen with the same girl on numerous occasions, but with a little boy. Does Dougie have something he'd like to confess?_

I am not a womanizer! God, how could they suggest such a thing?!

"So, who is she?" Fletch broke my thoughts.

I forgot that Fletch, having only recently returned to work after some family issues, was quite out of the loop.

"My girlfriend." Dougie shrugged.

"Y-Your GIRLFRIEND? You need to tell me these things!" Fletch snapped.

"You were in France with your mother! I didn't want to pay for international phone calls! Especially with you. You can talk for England!" Dougie snapped right back.

Fletch sighed, "I need to sort this out with the press. Look, deny or confirm?"

Dougie scratched the back of his neck. "I need to call Shawna." Dougie muttered. "Oh, and I'm not the father, Fletch, just in case you thought..." He then left the room... probably to call Shawna.

"That boy." Fletch shook his head.

"That's a cute picture." Giovanna randomly commented. I frowned and looked at the picture closer. It was cute, come to think of it, whoever took it was good. Shawna and Dougie were sitting on a park bench, holding hands, and just simply looking at each other, smiling. It was obvious they were in love, gazing into each other's eyes. Shawna was wearing his hoodie, I noticed. A surge of jealousy went through me again. I wanted that. I wanted someone to love.

Dougie re-entered the room, smiling.

"Confirm." he announced.

"Good, now what's her name so I can tell it to the press? And how long have you been together?"

"Shawna Jackson. And, well we first got together when we were thirteen, then ended things at fifteen, then we recently got back together and Christmas eve." Dougie grinned.

"Doug, are you sure she isn't just using you right now?" Fletch asked.

"What?" Dougie looked at him in shock. We all were.

"Well, isn't it a bit sketchy when you broke up, but now you're famous, she appears again?" Fletch shrugged.

"Well, you obviously don't know our story then. Don't judge the situation when you don't know all the details." Dougie snapped and left.

Fletch looked at us all in confusion, "What's all that about?"

We sighed, "Time to start the Dougie and Shawna saga." Tom announced, and we told him all we knew.

* * *

_Dougie_

Fletch seriously pissed me off when he suggested Shawna was using me. Bastard didn't know anything. I knew Shawna better than I knew myself sometimes. I knew for a fact, she didn't have the heart to do that to anyone. She was the kindest person I knew; especially now she was off the drugs. I angrily walked all the way home; cursing the fact I got a lift to the studio with Danny.

I angrily walked, looking at the ground, when I bumped into someone.

"Sorry." I muttered automatically, and the person said it as well. I froze as I recognized the voice.

"Dougie!" she looked shocked to see me. I was shocked to see her; especially in London.

"Kimmy!"

Who'd have thought? Shawna's older sister, in London. She was probably meeting Carson, for 'business'.

"Long time no see." she commented.

"True." I agreed.

"I hear you and Shaw are back together. I'm glad. You make her happy... she deserves happiness... Lee... well, Lee was a twat. You know, after she left, he threw a massive hissy fit for about five seconds then was shagging Zoey. Yes, that's right, _Zoey_." Kimmy said.

I remembered Zoey, the drug courier. She called me and told me my dad escaped prison a year and a half ago. Then he tried to kill me, and I went to drown my sorrows at her party... and Shawna's water broke. It seemed so long ago now, but it was only over two years ago.

"Gosh, Zoey... out of _every one_?" I frowned. Zoey... well she had an alright body... but her face was... well, quite something… and _not_ in a good way.

"Yeah, I know. So anyway, don't be a dick to Shaw, 'kay?"

"I won't Kim, you know me." I told her.

"HEY, DOUGIE!" I spun around at Harry's voice. He was running out of the studio building. "You ok?" he asked me.

"Yeah, fine." I frowned, as Harry stopped beside me. But he wasn't listening anymore; he was staring at Kimmy with this look of amazement. I rolled my eyes. Go for the sister, eh, Haz?

"Dougie who is your beautiful friend?" he asked me, making Kimmy roll her eyes. If he wanted to get a girl from Crackstreet, he needed to ease up the cheese.

"Harry this is Kimmy, she's Shawna's sister. Kim, this is Harry. And yes, he _is_ a stupid dick." I told her.

"Guessed that for myself." Kimmy smirked. "I'll see you around, Poynter."

"Sure, Jackson." I waved as she left, and Harry whacked me on the arm.

"Must you ruin _everything_?!" Harry glared at me.

"Dude, you ruined that one yourself by being a cheesy ass. She was from Crackstreet, she doesn't do cheesy." I rolled my eyes.

"I wasn't being cheesy, I was being a gentleman." Harry said defensively.

"Yeah... I repeat; she's from Crackstreet. If you approach a girl from Crackstreet like that, they either think you're a pervert, an ass or pathetic." I told him honestly.

"Well, how do you approach a girl from Crackstreet then?" Harry asked.

"Casually. Don't over-compliment them. Don't make a move on them, don't even _kiss_ them, until the end of a first date, or they'll think you're only up for a one night stand." I educated him. "In Crackstreet, if you're serious about a girl, that girl becomes first, no matter what. That girl is everything, and you must treat her with the utmost respect. She is a queen. If you don't treat your girlfriend with respect and adoration, you are considered scum of the earth, basically. So the key is, go slow."

"How slow?" Harry frowned.

"It's different for everybody." I shrugged.

"How slow did you go with Shawna?" Harry asked.

"Well... we were only thirteen, so that's not really a fair comparison." I told him, "We were friends for the first two months, but I eventually asked her out. We didn't kiss properly until the third date."

"Aw! Thirteen year old Doug!" Harry teased.

"Fuck off." I glared at him.

"We good now?" Harry asked after some silence.

I nodded, "Yeah, we good."


	20. Chapter 19

**This was going to be just a fluffy filler... but I don't like too much fluff, and I came up with an idea, and before I knew it, this became really long! Yeah... if you look at the small details, this is rather important. That is all i'm going to say. :)**

**I might not update for a while, because I was planning to update this weekend, but I'm going to see One Direction live (don't judge or I will make gangster Dougie kill you.)and I live quite far away from the venue so me and my friends are making it a day trip, so I can't. And I have a mountain of homework that I really should be doing now.**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Dougie_

"Nappies, baby food, milk, wipes, toys and a change of clothes are in here." Shawna listed off, handing me a ruck sack.

"Shawna,_ relax_. It'll be fine." I assured her, taking the bag and James from her arms.

"I know... it's just that..." she sighed, "Call me, if there's anything wrong."

"I will." I promised her and bent over to kiss her slowly. "Now go have fun!"

She smiled hesitantly. "Ok... thank you, Dougie." she pecked me on the lips before kissing James on the cheek, telling him to be good. "Love you." she left.

_Ok. Shit. Why did I agree to this?_ I felt a little wave of panic as she closed the door.

"Ok..." I trailed off. I decided to take him to the living room and set him on the floor. James immediately reached out and played with my shoe laces. "Seems like you're easy to entertain." I smiled and felt a little bit better. I took the bag from my shoulder and sat down on the sofa. I looked in the bag and searched for some toys. I found the teddy he had on Christmas. I pulled James up on the sofa on my knee and handed him the teddy.

He seemed content. This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

* * *

"So he's watching James, on his _own_? Gosh." Rachel was impressed with Shawna's news.

"Yeah, I'm a bit nervous, Dougie can be impulsive... but he's never admitted it, and probably never will, not even to himself, but he's good with kids." Shawna smiled.

"Aw, that's cute." Gemma grinned.

All the girls were out that night. It was a girls night out, and they were making the most of it. Jess was chatting to every guy in the club, and Ivy was knocking back shots like there was no tomorrow, and trying to get Giovanna to join in. Rachel was having fun, she took this as preperation for her hen night, which was coming up as well. Gemma was just laughing at everyone else.

To be honest... Shawna just wanted to go home. She missed James, and Dougie. She had enough of the partying lifetime, having spent all her teenage years on it... bloody hell; she went into labor during one. She was fed up of the drinking. The attraction had disappeared for her. But she knew she couldn't leave and disappoint the girls, so she put on a smile and tried to enjoy herself.

* * *

_Dougie_

I'm not going to lie. I was really enjoying spending time with James. I was sat cross-legged opposite James on the floor, with my acoustic guitar. I was playing him a song, and he was staring up, fascinated at me, clapping whenever I strummed a chord. He reached forward and started hitting the strings excitedly.

"Mate, whenever your little hands are big enough, I'mma teach you how to play, alright?" I promised the little guy. I checked the time and smiled. "Come on, your mum said I should feed you now." I put the guitar to the side and he started to cry. "Come on. Trust me, you'll reach an age where nothing will be better than food." I picked him up, and took a jar of baby food from the bag of wonder that Shawna gave me.

* * *

Shawna sat by the bar, absently staring into her drink.

"You ok, sis?" she jumped when she saw Kimmy sitting next to her.

"Kim!" she hugged her older sister. With only two years between them, they were close.

"What are you doing here?" Kimmy asked Shawna suspiciously.

"Hanging with some friends..." Shawna shrugged, glancing at Gemma and Giovanna who were dancing together.

"Where's James?"

"With Dougie." Shawna said, finding her drink interesting again. Kimmy was livid at Dougie for breaking up with Shawna the last time she checked.

"Ah, Doug. I bumped into him yesterday." Kimmy said, surprising Shawna.

"You did?"

"Yeah... he's changed. In a good way." Kimmy commented, "He's... more... calm." Shawna felt a wave of relief wash over her. That meant Kimmy didn't verbally kill him.

"Yeah, he is." Shawna nodded, "But otherwise... he's just the same."

"You still love him then? Not only going with him because of the familiarity." Kimmy asked seriously. She wanted her sister to be genuinely happy, and not feeling like she's stuck.

"Yes, I really do. I really love him, Kim." Shawna said honestly.

"Ok... do you know Harry? Dougie's friend?" Kimmy asked randomly.

"Yeah, why?" Shawna frowned.

"I'm pretty sure he tried to pull me." Kimmy frowned.

"Been there." Shawna smirked, "_Not_ done that. He's nice, but too _posh_, and doesn't compare to Dougie."

"Meh, he's alright, but the formal shit just... well, yeah, he's too posh." Kimmy shrugged. She couldn't admit it to herself, let alone her sister, that she found him attractive.

"So you think he's fit?" Shawna giggled. Kimmy was never good at hiding things.

"No!" Kimmy denied, turning red.

"Oi! Jess! Com'ere!" Shawna shouted over at Jess who reluctantly walked away from the guy of the minute.

"What?" Jess asked Shawna, rather annoyed. She could've had him.

"Jess, this is my sister Kimmy. Kimmy thinks your cousin is fit." Shawna giggled again.

"Ha! Ha! _Harry_. _Fit_. Ha!" Jess laughed then turned serious, grabbing Kimmy's shoulders, "Please date him! He's going to turn into a forty year old bachelor the rate he's going!"

"Um..."

"She'll date him... if he asks." Shawna answered for her.

"Shawna!" Kimmy hit her sister.

* * *

_Dougie_

I finished changing James' nappy. That was slightly disgusting, and stank. I quickly walked to the kitchen and put it in the bin and walked back to the living room. I walked back to find James with the guitar. The guitar was bigger than him, so he had put the guitar on the floor and was hitting the strings. I rolled my eyes.

"You're lucky that's not my favorite one." I said, "Otherwise, I wouldn't be happy." I mean, he was hitting it pretty hard. I mentally prayed a string wouldn't snap and hit him. Shawna would kill me. Suddenly he shifted away from the guitar and started to cry, holding his hands out. They were red, since he'd hit the strings too hard.

"You've hurt your hands?" I picked him up and sat down on the sofa, with him on my lap. I rubbed his hands until his crying seized down to mere whimpering.

"I twierd." James announced, snuggling into me. And before I knew it, he was fast asleep. I stood up, careful not to wake him, and just as I was about to get him to the guest bedroom the doorbell rang, waking him up. I silently cursed whoever was there and opened it.

It was the guys. I glared at them.

"Couldn't you have just walked in like you always do, you woke him up." I complained, before walking back to the living room and tried to get him back to sleep by gently rocking him. The guys walked in after me, staring at me in amazement. Luckily, he fell straight back to sleep. I gestured at the guys to keep quiet and put James in a car seat like thing Shawna had brought with her and put him in the guest bedroom on the ground floor.

I walked back to the living room where the guys were staring at me like I was some sort of alien.

"What?" I frowned at them.

"Who knew you had a maternal side?!" Danny blurted out.

"I'm not maternal." I scoffed.

"Yeah, and my hair is pink." Tom rolled his eyes, "If we didn't know any better, you were his biological dad, and had raised him since his birth. You're a natural dude."

"Yeah, sure." I raised my eye brows and picked up my guitar off the floor I grabbed all of James' stuff and put them back in the bag.

* * *

"Ok... so Carson told me something I think you should know. The Racketeer, like I told you before, has someone watching Doug... and he has a little suspicion about what's going on. Only a little though." Kimmy had led Shawna to the girls' bathroom and both had triple checked that they were alone.

"Well we need to act quickly then." Shawna said simply.

"Yes. Carson is planning, as well as Nate, Ben and Chris... they may be idiots, but they've been doing this just as long as we have, so you've got to give them credit." Kimmy shrugged.

"Yeah... I guess so. This better bloody work." Shawna muttered.

"Yeah... we all need a break." Kimmy agreed.

"Kim... what's up with you and Carson?"

"Me and Carson?" Kimmy asked innocently, but her sister gave her a look, "Ok... you know Viv?" Shawna nodded. Viv was Kimmy's best friend for years, before she died of cancer when they were thriteen, "Viv... Viv was Carson's little sister."

"What's but he's old enough to be our dad!" Shawna gasped.

"Yeah..." Kimmy shrugged, "We bonded with that fact... Just friends though." Kimmy shrugged.

Shawna checked her watch. It was getting late.

"I should go. Dougie's all alone with James." Shawna announced. She said goodbye to her sister and friends and went back towards Dougie's house. On her way out, though, she caught a glimpse of someone. Someone she thought she left behind. But when she looked closer, he was gone. She shook her head. She just imagined it.


	21. Chapter 20

**Oh, and the serious stuff begins!**

**It took a while!**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Dougie_

I woke up to the sound of a baby crying, and remembered James was downstairs. I glanced over at Shawna, who was fast asleep still and gently unwrapped my arms from around her and got out of bed. I glanced at the clock and sighed. 6:30 am. Seriously? I wore only boxers so I threw on a t-shirt and walked down the stairs to the guest bedroom and saw James crying in the car-seat thing. I gently took him from there.

"What's the matter, huh?" I asked, bouncing him up and down in my arms, trying to calm him down.

"The fact you act so slow, Poynter."

I froze at the sound of his cold voice. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

I slowly turned around, wishing it wasn't true, wishing I'd imagined it. No. I hadn't.

There, dressed in his usual suit and tie and hat, was the round, slimy, ugly bastard who was so controlled by money and power it was sickening. Nothing mattered to him, as long as he got what he wanted. He fed from the occupants of my old street. His mere presence wasn't what made me feel slightly faint, though ... but the weapon he wasn't aiming at _me_... but at _James_.

I quickly turned slightly to shield him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I spat at him, trying to conceal my nerves.

"You haven't completed your mission."

"I have another three and three quarter years." I snapped.

"Yes well, I'm getting impatient. Consider this your warning, Poynter, you have five months."

"_Five months?!_ B-B-"

"Goodbye, Poynter."

And that's when I felt like joining in on James' crying. I sat down on the bed, and held the little boy close, hushing him, assuring him that it was going to be ok... but in all reality, it was me who needed the assurance.

"D-Doug? Who was here now?" I heard Shawna's shaky whisper from the door, looking like a deer in headlights.

"T-The Racketeer." I choked. It was worse when I had to say it. She gasped and launched herself at me; one arm flung around my neck and another around me and James, and buried her face in my chest. She was sat in an awkward position, half on me, and half on the bed.

"What did he want?" she asked, her voice muffled by my t-shirt.

"He- he moved the date forward. I-I have f-five months." the feeling of dread I felt was unbearable, and I finally allowed myself to cry.

* * *

_Tom_

I decided I needed to talk to Dougie about this whole Racketeer business. I was worried sick. He had to go through this all alone until Shawna came along. I felt so bad. I arrived his place and knocked on the door, then realized it was 10 am, so Dougie was probably still asleep. I decided to just walk in. The place was deathly quiet. I frowned, and noticed the door to the guest bedroom was open, and walked in.

Ok, I'm a guy. A _straight_ guy. But even then I had to suppress and 'aw' when I entered that room. There they were, like a little family. Shawna and Dougie lay incredibly close; with little James snuggled between them both. Shawna was wearing Dougie's t-shirt... It was all too cute... At least I thought that until I noticed they had all been crying, their cheeks tear stained. My heart dropped. I knew it had to do with The Racketeer.

I decided to leave them alone, and as I made my way out of the house, I noticed a note by the front door:

_Don't forget, Poynter. 5 months._

I felt my blood turn cold as I put two and two together.

In five months... one of my best friends was going to jail.

"Shit!" I involuntarily let out.

"Tom?" I looked up to see Shawna standing sleepily at the bedroom door. She noticed the note in my hand and rushed up to me and took it from my hand.

"Don't worry, I know." I told her quietly.

"H-he was _here_." Shawna choked out, "He was going to shoot James. If Doug hadn't heard him crying..."

Holy shit. The Racketeer was here? And was going to kill a one year old boy, who was completely innocent?! Now I understand why Dougie was doing what he was doing. I knew who The Racketeer was, and I knew he was notorious and powerful... but now I knew the extent of that, and it was frightening.

"What the hell?" my eyes were wide.

Shawna just nodded. "I-I don't know what to do. H-How can we get him in time now?" Shawna was starting to cry.

I hugged her gently, assuring her that it was going to be ok. God, Dougie must be feeling like shit, he had his girlfriend and her son's lives on his hand, and I knew for a fact Dougie loved her more than anything. I just imagined what it would be like to have Giovanna's life in my hands, and I felt sick at the thought of it… and if she had a child… God, I wouldn't know what to do.

Suddenly a child's laughter interrupted the mournful silence. Shawna and I went to the guest bedroom and saw Dougie tickling little James, who was looking overjoyed. I had to admit, I wished I was as good as him with kids. Dougie looked like he forgot all about last night… but I knew by now he could act. I knew he was only acting happy for James. I looked over at Shawna who still looked heartbroken. I knew she was thinking about what would happen in five months' time, and I knew this probably pained her more, because I knew she was thinking that he'd be the perfect father for her son… and he would be.

Suddenly she ran out of the room. Dougie looked up and frowned.

"Oh, hi Tom. Uh, where did Shawna go?"

"I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with this?" I showed him the note. He immediately paled.

"Yeah… maybe." He said, sounding emotionless, but I knew he was shitting it. He sat up and put James on his lap.

"I heard about what happened last night." I told him quietly, "Are you ok?"

"I have to kill a guy, Tom, and now I have even less time to do it. What do you think?" Dougie said, his happy front not faltering in front of James, who he was bouncing on his lap.

* * *

**What will Dougie do?! What will ****_Tom_**** do?! I feel like there should be some dramatic music in the background... **

**I just want to thank anyone who reviewd, or has favourited or added this story to their alerts, or who have just read this story. You have no idea how much it means to me! Thank you so much!**


	22. Chapter 21

**I feel like the busier I get, the worse the quality of my writing gets. Sorry, I've tried to make this the best I could. This chapter has jumped a few days forward, because I started writing a chapter that happened inbetween them and scrapped it, because I didn't want to give you guys anymore fillers. It's pretty self-explanatory anyway. **

**Don't own McFly. Never will.**

* * *

_Dougie_

The room was dimly lit, and only contained a round table and eight chairs that were all occupied except for two. All the people present were from Crackstreet. People I knew and grew up with. There was Mr Travis, who owned the corner store I used to steal cigarettes from weekly. There was Mr Grey, the hay P.E. teacher from school. Kimmy was there, obviously. Then there was Tyger James, who you didn't want to get on the wrong side of! He was notoriously violent and ruthless. Finally, Sam and Jessie; the twins. They grew up with Marshall Maynard as their father – that was all I needed to know.

Shawna and I took the two spare seats. Carson hadn't arrived yet. We all stared at each other wordlessly. This was the first time we saw, and knew who our fellow gang members were, and we sized each other up. We had a fairly good chance. Everyone here were known for their toughness and intellect. Mr Grey, although he was gay, was in no means camp and every P.E. lesson he proved that. It was like an army boot camp. We could do this. We _had_ to do this.

I remembered back to my first official gang meeting when I was thirteen. It was very much like this. No one said or did anything until they were told to do so. I was glad I didn't let Tom come, although he really wanted to. He wouldn't be able to take it. I didn't want him to know the seriousness of gang-membership, and gang warfare. I knew Shawna could handle it, she's tough. Hell, she was the one who introduced me to this!

Carson entered the room. The room immediately grew tenser. We all wanted to know why he brought us all together. There had to be a good reason for him to risk us getting noticed. We all watched as he nodded to himself as he looked at us all.

"This is our last chance. Our first and last chance. If we fail this, we'll all be imprisoned." He announced. I already knew that, and it scared me a little, but I was going to jail either way. I was more scared for Shawna. She was a mother. But I knew, and I knew that _she_ knew, that she had to do this. It was, for both of us, closure from our past life. We needed this so we could move on completely with our lives.

"I have a plan. A good plan. A difficult, dangerous plan, but I'm pretty certain it will work perfectly." Carson began explaining and I felt my confidence increase, inflate with every word he said. It was full proof. It was ingenious. It was risky… my God it was risky! But if it worked… That was it. It was done. My problems would be solved.

We all stood up, nodded at each other, preparing for the call, and left, without uttering a word to one another.

This was it. We had five months… and things were looking much better.

* * *

_Danny_

Gemma was worrying so much about her ex, which I was starting to get anxious about. When I asked about him, she would change the subject. She wouldn't tell me anything about him. I wanted to help her. She would spend every day, glancing out of the window as if she expected him to be standing out there. She rarely got out of the house since the night she went out with the girls. I asked her if anything happened then but she wouldn't say. I asked the other girls and they didn't notice anything that night, or didn't remember. Shawna left early, so she didn't know anything… But I don't think she was saying the whole truth, since she looked very shaken up since that night… come to think about it, so did Doug; maybe there was tension in that department, but that didn't seem likely either.

I felt like everyone was keeping something from me. My best friend had drifted away, and now my girlfriend was starting to as well. Was it me? Did I repel humans or something? Because right now, the only thing close to me was my dog.

"Gem… please, just tell me." I begged her. I hated her keeping things from me, especially if it was this big. I wanted to help.

"Tell you what?" she asked with fake cluelessness.

"Gem," I sighed. She flopped on the sofa next to me and sighed.

"Danny… I saw him, that night when I was out with the girls. He was there, lurking in the shadows." Gemma confessed.

"What, he was stalking you?" I gasped. She nodded. The little shit! I hugged her tightly. "Gemma, we should take this to the court." I was worried for my girlfriend's safety. I didn't want this big of a freak near her.

"No! No, just leave it. He'll get bored an-"

"No, Gemma, we have to get a restraining order or something." I told her sternly.

"Danny, just leave it." She said, pulling out of my embrace, and shaking her head. My heart broke a little. She didn't get that her safety was my main priority.

I sighed, "At least give me his name and tell me how he looks so I can beat the living shit out of him if I see him, or tell Dougie to. Whichever works." I told her, getting a slight smile out of her.

"Lee Kennick. He's taller than you, and has dark hair and brown eyes. He's skinny and you'd probably be able to take him." She said, hugging me.

"Lee Kennick? I've heard that name before." I frowned. Lee Kennick… I'm pretty sure that name has come out of Dougie's mouth, "Gemma, where does he come from?"

"Well, we got together about four years ago… just before I moved here from Kent. It was a short relationship, only lasted about two months. He was nice, but after six weeks started getting possessive, in a bad way, so I eventually broke up with him. Ever since then, he'd spontaneously turn up every now and again. I think he lived in Essex." Gemma shrugged.

Possible for Dougie to know him then… Seems like the type of guy Dougie knew (he knew some fucking weird people) "Gemma… I think Dougie's mentioned him before… Is it alright if I mention this to him? He might know something about him." I said, shaking slightly. I knew that if Dougie knew him… he'd tell me how dangerous he was.

"Um… ok." Gemma said in a small voice.

I kissed her softly, "This will turn out ok, I promise."

I was good at bullshitting, I learned.

I then went out of the room and picked up my phone and called Dougie. He answered immediately.

"Hey, dude!" he seemed in a good mood for once. He got some last night!

"Hey, um, I have something I need to ask you. Gemma's ex is stalking her, and I asked her about him, and she said his name was Lee Kennick..?" I trailed off. I heard him taking in a sharp breath.

"L-Lee Kennick?!" he choked out. Oh no. This cannot be good. That type of reaction from Dougie Lee Poynter was always, _always_ a bad sign.

"Yeah, I thought I heard you mention him before and she said he was from Essex… so I take it you know him?" I said, hiding my fear.

"Yeah I fucking know him! He's James' father!"

Oh, shit. I remembered when he was mentioned now. This… This wasn't good…

"Are you being serious?" I asked shakily.

"No, I'm bullshitting. _Of course _I'm serious! Dude, he's a fucking creep. Throughout my relationship with Shawna before it ended he would practically stalk us. Then after we ended things he got with Shawna, acted lovely, helped her end her addiction, got her pregnant, he found out and started _beating _her."

I froze. I never knew that. I never knew Shawna was abused. God this guy sounded like a bastard! God, how could Gemma be involved with someone like that… how could Shawna be involved with someone like that. This was so messed up! What man would abouse the woman that was carrying their child. That's just... I mean, _bloody hell_!

"He beat her? Bloody hell mate!"

"Yeah, call the police man, seriously. That's coming from me!" Dougie said. Dougie just told me to call the police. That was… beyond weird.

"Who are you, and what have you done to the fifteen year old boy I met on a train to London?" I asked him seriously.

"Dude… I don't even know." He said somberly.

I thanked him and went back to Gemma. I told her what Dougie said and she covered her mouth with her hands, looking at me wide-eyed with shock. She looked like how I felt.

"Gemma… we have to call the police…" I told her. "Dougie agrees. He's the one who told me to do it. He needs to be imprisoned."

Gemma nodded faintly, knowing we had to. She now grasped the severity of the situation. I dialed 999.


	23. Chapter 22

**I've kinda gone off track with how I wanted this story to go with this chapter, but I think that it's a good thing, if I can get my head around it! I just want to thank anyone who's reviewed, followed, favorited this story, I love you all!**

**Don't own McFly. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this... I'd have a much better way to spend my time!**

* * *

_Dougie_

"Why can't you just tell me?" Tom whined. I was packing my bags. I was going back to Crackstreet. To everyone else, Shawna and I were going to visit Shawna's parents… who were still majorly pissed off at her for running away. Tom, of course, knew better.

"Because… if I get caught, I know I won't give in and tell anything about anyone else involved, or the plan… and then they'll ask you. Everyone else is ignorant when it comes to everything… and I need you to be as well. They have techniques Tom, to make you crack, and no offence or anything, but they'll work on you." I told him seriously.

"B-But…" Tom sighed, "I get it, I get it."

"If I get imprisoned, will you bail me out please?" I asked him, hopefully.

"Sure, but I won't be happy about it." Tom grumbled, "I hope you have this all figured out."

"I do. Even if it does go wrong, and I do go to jail, and you're not allowed to bail me out, it won't be a life sentence. And that's what keeping me going. Besides, it's not like I haven't been to jail before." I shrugged.

"That's true." Tom nodded.

* * *

_?_

"Sir! Sir! Someone's planning something!" I rushed upstairs in the abandoned warehouse that was now our HQ. We had to constantly move, in case un-loyal members grassed us out.

"Hey! He's busy right now. He's dealing with Poynter's case." A Hooded Figure grabbed my shirt and slammed me against the hard wall.

Hooded Figures always thought they were better than us. His body guards, His companions. They thought they were so much better, yet they hid their faces from everyone except for Him. Cowards, that's what I called them. Poynter's in their ranks of cowardice as well. According to Him he was all for us four years ago, now he can't complete a simple task. My news surrounded him as well.

He and some others are planning His downfall. Like hell he'll go through with it though. Not while I was here. Good thing I'm close enough for him to not know that I could double-cross him.

And that's why, to the Hooded Figure's dismay, The Racketeer froze his meeting, and let me in. And I told him what I knew. Dougie Poynter was going to be killed. I was sure of it. He had defied Him, and He won't take it.

* * *

_Dougie_

"You really need to learn how to drive." Shawna told me as we waited on our platform.

"And what, you don't?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"You're the pop star here, the one everyone's staring at, not me." She rolled her eyes.

"Just ignore then, they'll lose interest in a minute." I shrugged.

"Mummy! Mummy! Look!" James pointed at the train that was nearing the platform.

"Yes, Jay, what is it?" Shawna grinned at her little boy.

"Twain!" James clapped enthusiastically.

"C'mon, James, let's go on it!" I told him, and grabbed Shawna and mine's bags.

"Yay, we go on twain!" James bounced up and down in Shawna's arms.

We hopped on the train and only a few minutes then we arrived at good ole Essex. I hated here. I never wanted to return, but this was necessary. I had to do this.

"We're back." Shawna said faintly.

"Yep," I muttered, and we started to walk towards Shawna's parents' house. I was quite nervous, because they never liked me that much… well her father didn't, and they were already angry with Shawna.

We arrived the familiar house and were greeted by Kimmy.

"Finally, you're here!" she sighed, "Mum and dad will kill you. The both of you."

"Perfect." I muttered. Shawna didn't say anything, just trying to keep James asleep.

"Oh. They're here." Mr Jackson entered the room.

This is going to be brilliant.

* * *

_Danny_

"What do you mean? You let him go?!" I started at the police officer in shock.

"There was no evidence to keep him here." He shrugged.

"What, none other than my distraught girlfriend that's scared for her life?" I snapped at him.

I sat on the seat and took a deep breath. I knew I had to keep calm. Dougie said going to prison for assaulting an officer was worth it, but I really didn't need a record.

"We're sorry, sir, there's nothing we can do." The policeman shrugged.

Angry, I stormed out of the room, only to run straight into someone. He and I both apologized, and then I recognized him. He was the policeman that Dougie was 'friends' with. Sanders.

"Danny Jones, yes?" he asked me. I nodded. "I heard you had a stalker on your case? Lee Kennick?"

"Yes, he's stalking my girlfriend, but they can't arrest him." I muttered.

"Really now? Because… If I remember correctly, he's still wanted in Essex..?" he smirked.

Now I know why Dougie likes this man.

"Seriously? You wouldn't mind…"

"I'm going back there tomorrow anyway. Might take a trip to the old station. Reminisce. Good memories there…" he smiled.

"Don't run into Doug. He's there as well." I told him.

"Oh, Poynter. At least he's kept out of trouble… So far, at least."


	24. Chapter 23

**I am so tired right now so if there's any mistakes in this I apologise. Hopefully, I'll be able to update again tomorrow, as I've already started the next chapter.**

**I don't own McFly and probably won't in the future. This is purely fiction from my messed up mind.**

* * *

_Dougie_

"You could've told me! You didn't have to just run off!"

"You would've held me back! You kept telling me _'Lee's a good bloke, he didn't mean to' 'Just give him another chance, Shaw'_. Well guess what? I waited a year to see if he'd change! Did he? No! He got worse!"

"Yes, well you could've stayed with us!"

"I didn't want to mum. I wanted to get out of here! Out of this shithole! I _needed_ to!"

James's crying was never ending due to all the shouting downstairs. I kept trying to hush him, but it was pointless. Kimmy and I were sent upstairs after I arrived. Mr and Mrs Jackson wanted a 'word' with Shawna. They had been at it for ages, while I was in Shawna's old room with James. A room that brought back quite a lot of memories. Good memories. I lay on Shawna's old bed next to James, trying unsuccessfully to calm him down.

"Well you could've called at least, so we knew you were ok!"

"I didn't because I knew you'd be like this!"

"And when did you find Him again?"

I was wondering when I'd be brought into this.

"December. Why?"

"After everything he put you through, you're back with Him?"

"Yes, I am! You want to know why? Because _I love him_."

"And how do you know he won't dump you again? He's _famous_ now, Shawna! There'll be groupies."

"I _trust_ him, dad! Something _you_ wouldn't understand. Besides, as much as you want to ignore it, I was on _drugs_ back then. He had every_ right_ to break things off. Now I didn't come back here to have a bloody lecture. Leave me and my personal life alone."

Shawna shouted then I heard her storming up the stairs. I held a crying James close. She entered the room and sighed when she saw that James was upset.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"It's fine." I murmured, noting that James was finally starting to calm down. His hysterical cries turned to sobs.

Shawna silently came to lay on the bed the other side of James and we silently comforted the little boy. We lay there for what felt like hours before one of us spoke. In the reality that we lived in, sometimes silence was all we needed to express ourselves. We were both worried. We wouldn't admit it to ourselves or each other, but we were. We knew there was a possibility this could go terribly wrong, and then what would happen to James?

"This is really happening." Shawna breathed. I just nodded.

I thought about everything. I needed to do this. I needed this for myself, and for others. Shawna… she didn't need to do this. I brought her into this. She could be at home with James now, perfectly happy. I felt guilty. But even if I thought all this, I knew it was her decision, and she'd be involved no matter what. She was that type of person with bad luck who ended up involved in everything. I guess fate had a sick joy from watching others have to battle their way through, and others cruise.

I watched as James fell asleep, still slightly whimpering. I decided to speak.

"I'm sorry for reigniting the turmoil in your family. Again."

"It's hardly your fault. It's all theirs. They were furious with me anyway." She shrugged.

"Why have they never liked me?"

"They wanted me to marry into some richer family to get us some money." She rolled her eyes.

"Well _I_ was a Class A disappointment." I smirked. Shawna's family was one of the wealthier in the area – which was still incredibly poor. I was among the poorer - the ones that faced the possibility of eviction daily. "They do know that nowadays it's another story, right?"

"Yeah, but now they're worried about other things." Shawna sighed.

"You do know that I'd never cheat on you, right?" I propped myself up on my elbow.

"Of course I do, but you get groupies and you'll practically have girls hanging off you."

"And none of them will ever compare to you." I told her honestly, "Shawna, I_ love_ you. I've loved you since I was thirteen. That _won't_ change."

She kissed me deeply and grinned at me. "How did I survive three years without you?"

"I have no idea, I mean, I'm pretty damn amazing." I smirked, earning a slap on the arm, making me laugh.

She joined in, "I fucking love you," she grinned and kissed me softly.

* * *

_?_

"Alright, Nate?" I entered the common room at the HQ where the idiot was hanging with one of the Base Bitches, who were basically our mistresses.

"Yep, you know Libby, don't you?" he introduced me to the girl who needed to cover up more.

"Uh, yeah… look mate; you used to be friends with Poynter, didn't you?" I asked him.

"Yeah; me, him, Ben and Chris were like brothers." Nate shrugged, "Why? Is this about him not killing Dale yet?"

"Yeah… kinda. Look, have you heard from him?"

"Nope. Not since he left." Nate sighed, "Before he left we… well, we weren't on good terms."

"That's, great. Very helpful." I rolled my eyes and left the room, hoping Ben and Chris would have better information. This fucker was going down.

* * *

_Danny_

I was getting angst-y. I hoped Officer Sanders would catch him. I knew that he didn't work in Essex anymore, and for him to do this, I was grateful. Everything was just… wrong. Nothing felt right anymore. I knew something big was up, and I was pretty sure Dougie had a part to play… But the only thing I could do was sit and wait, and comfort Gemma.

* * *

_Tom_

I hoped for Dougie's sake that this plan would work. I knew he had to do this, and there was no use trying to talk him out of it. I knew that if he was caught, the press would have a field day, but I didn't care what they thought, I only cared about whether or not Dougie, and Shawna and James were ok. I was worried about my friends.

Giovanna kept asking whether or not I was ok. She knew something was up, majorly, but I knew I had to honour Dougie's wishes and not tell her anything, although it was killing me not to tell her. I had a feeling she was hiding something from me as well. She was acting differently. I knew she'd tell me eventually though. I didn't want to pressure her.

* * *

_Harry_

I couldn't stop thinking about Kimmy. She was beautiful. She was on a whole different level compared to her sister. The only downer was I didn't see her since the day I saw her talking to Dougie. I was going to make it my personal mission when Dougie was back from visiting Shawna's family with Shawna to ask about everything he knew about her and to find her. I had to.

* * *

Shawna watched as her two favourite boys fell asleep. Seeing Dougie with James made her heart melt every time. He was so good with him; it physically hurt her how much she loved it. How much she loved him. When she entered her room after her argument with her parents to see him comforting James, she melted, she literally melted. He was the perfect father to her son; she had no doubt about it.

She knew that if the plan went terribly wrong, that Dougie would be the one most likely caught. Carson had given her and Kimmy the least dangerous roles, and Dougie one of the most dangerous. She hadn't told him how much she hated that. That he would be put in danger. That she could lose him, again. Her son would be fatherless again.

But she was strong. She'd seen Dougie get arrested many times before. Hell, _she'd_ been arrested before. But times change. This wouldn't be the same.

He stomach lurched. She couldn't lose him again. She just couldn't. She felt tears fill her eyes at the prospect. She loved him too much for him to be taken away again. She'd lost him once… nearly _for good_ before then. She reached over her son and grabbed Dougie's wrist. She pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie and felt ill when she saw old scars.

Despite her high state, she remembered the day Dougie was hospitalized clearly, and she shuddered as those memories crept up.


	25. Chapter 24

**Well, isn't this a quick update? I finished this early and decided to just get it up already. This is where the real drama starts.**

**Don't own McFly, as depressing as that is.**

* * *

_Shawna giggled as her best friend; Millie tried to catch butterflies that weren't really there. Her friend had smoked way too much and was as high as a kite. Poor thing was quite new to it as well. She'd have one hell of a downer. _

_Shawna was happy… but she was aware that… in reality, it was all a hallucination. A way of ignoring the inner turmoil she was going through. Drugs weren't fun anymore… they were a necessity. Shawna no longer felt the thrill. She felt… to be completely honest, ashamed. They weren't enough anymore, to distract her from life. She knew that Pete had ruined her. He had gotten what he wanted._

_Dougie didn't want her anymore. He wouldn't say it, but she knew he thought it. He was tired of her childishness and her constant irritation when money was tight and she couldn't get any stuff from her dealer. He was tired of having to come to her rescue all the time and deal with her when she was up with the clouds._

_Millie was running around when Shawna's phone rang. She saw that it was Mr Poynter, and she froze. Why would he call her?_

"_Hello," she answered the phone, trying to sound normal._

"_Shawna," his voice was shaky, "Uh… Dougie's in the hospital." _

_Shawna's heart skipped a beat. Hospital?_

"_He… He… H-hurt himself."_

_Shawna's blood ran cold. Dougie hurt himself? H-He cut?! Shawna nearly dropped her phone in shock. She knew Dougie wasn't coping with Jazzie's death, but she had no idea he was… _

"_D-Did he t-try t-to…?" Shawna couldn't bring herself to say it._

_**Did he try to kill himself?**_

"_We… we don't know."_

_That was the moment the guilt crept in. Was it her fault? Did he display the signs of depression and she was too high to notice? Did their relationship issues have something to do with it? _

_Shawna knew she should've been there for him, after Jazzie's death. She was a shit girlfriend._

"_I-I'll be there in a minute Mr Poynter."_

_Shawna ran to the hospital that thankfully wasn't too far away from the park Millie and her were in. She rushed to the desk that told her what room Dougie was in and she rushed up to the room. _

_The room was empty spare Dougie and all the machines he was connected to. He was as white as a sheet. His eyes were closed and the constant beeping of the machines was the only sound to be heard. The most prominent thing that struck Shawna was the bandages on his wrists… and the dots of red where blood was starting to seep through. Shawna stared at them, feeling nauseous. Tears stung her eyes. She should've noticed. She should've noticed. She could've prevented this._

_And that's when she broke down._

Shawna stood up from the bed and rushed out of the room. She couldn't believe how close she was to losing him back then. The doctors said that if they found him half an hour later, he would've died. As she leant against the wall in the corridor, she tried to contain herself, to calm her breathing. She couldn't get the image of Dougie in the hospital out of her mind. She felt the sudden craving for the narcotics she had grew so dependent on before, to make her feel better and shook her head. No! No, they began this whole mess.

"Shaw?" Kimmy's faint voice came from her room. Shawna looked up at her. "What's wrong?"

Shawna ran to her sister and hugged her tightly, letting herself cry, "I can't lose him, Kim. I can't lose him!"

* * *

_Dougie_

I woke up in the middle of the night to the bed empty on Shawna's side. I frowned. I sat up and put my head in my hands. I rarely got a full night's sleep after I received the letter. It was haunting my mind. I looked down at myself and noticed I was still fully dressed from the day before. I sighed and decided to take off the hoodie, feeling myself cool down as I did. Sweat was beading my forehead, and I hadn't even noticed it. I looked at my scars and sighed. They weren't noticeable anymore unless you were aware of them. For that I was glad; they were a memory I wanted erased. I heard soft voices, and recognized them as Kimmy and Shawna. I bit my lip, wondering if I should go and see what they were talking about at 3 am.

I made sure James was far enough from either edge of the bed and got up. I exited the room and noticed the sound came from downstairs. I walked downstairs… or rather stumbled in my tired state and entered the kitchen where they were talking with mugs of coffee. They both looked up as I entered, and I noticed that Shawna had been crying.

Ah, shit. I'm no good with teary girls. But I had to comfort her, seeing her sad devastated me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her softly, hugging her. She just shook her head, put her mug down and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I looked over at Kimmy, who just shook her head at me as well, before returning upstairs. Girls.

"Dougie?" Shawna whispered against my chest.

"Yeah?"

"Promise me one thing. Promise me you'll do anything in your power to not get hurt or caught." She looked me in the eye. Was this what it was all about?

"Of course." I said without hesitation.

"Say that you promise."

"I promise." I told her seriously, and kissed the top of her head, "Now come on. Back to bed."

* * *

Kimmy sighed as she lay back on her bed. She wished she had what her sister had with Dougie. How the prospect of losing Dougie made Shawna go mad, and broke her. Kimmy never had that, and she was five years older than her sister. And then when Dougie came downstairs and the look at his face when he noticed Shawna was crying showed that Shawna's feelings were surely returned.

Kimmy sighed. Her main focus was taking down the bastard known as The Racketeer. She had to concentrate on that. She had to do Carson's bidding and end the bastard. Her job was simple, but risky. Not as risky as Dougie's though. She understood Shawna's worry. Of all the roles, his was one of the most dangerous to play.

* * *

_Dougie_

I woke up to something poking me in the face and some giggling. I groaned and rolled over. It was way too early to get up. The poking continued and I felt small hands grabbing my arm. I opened one eye and saw that James was busy trying to wake me up and Shawna standing by the bed, fully dressed, and giggling.

"What time is it?" I groaned.

"Nearly midday." She grinned. I sighed and got up taking James with me. She took James off me and pushed me to the bathroom ordering me to take a shower.

After the shower I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed I looked much healthier. The blonde hair made me look more like myself, and I wasn't as skinny. I still looked tired, but that was understandable. I bit my lip and decided to take the lip ring out. It went on my nerves now. I was satisfied with what I saw. I was healthy. I no longer felt like I was suffocating.

I put on the clothes Shawna had left for me and froze when I saw the hoodie she had left me. It was the one I wore the night of our first time. I forgot it there when I snuck out of the house after we heard Mr and Mrs Jackson return. I grinned and put it on, surprised it still fit me – but then again it was like three sizes too big for me back then – mum always bought clothes she knew would last. I quickly dried my hair with the towel and walked back to Shawna's room.

When I entered her room, she and Kimmy were talking in hushed voices. They saw me enter and Kimmy pulled me over to them.

"Carson called. They know." She hissed.

"What?" my eyes went wide.

"Nate called him and said they know about you. Only you." Shawna said looking slightly distressed.

"Shit! How could they know? I was being extra careful!" I damned myself. Shit! Shit! Shit! I was fucked! I was in for it! I was going to be killed! I started pacing around the room, in full on panic mode.

"Nate reckons they have an insider… a guy came and asked him about you… he thinks you have a traitor. Have you told anyone?"

Tom.

* * *

**Oooh, Dougie has a traitor! Is it really Tom? Or is it someone else?**


	26. Chapter 25

**I would've updated this ages ago but my internet hasn't been working :( I've written quite a lot of this and I'll post another chapter either later today or tomorrow :) I've figured there's going to be around 30-35 chapters in this fic. **

**This chapter is like an emotional rollercoaster I'm telling you.**

**Nothing's changed since the beginning. I still don't own them.**

* * *

_Tom_

"A-Are you sure?" I asked, part of me hopeful, the other in dread. To be honest, I didn't know what I wanted. I mean, I was only 20… I wanted a lot of things that this would ruin… but also a part of me was excited, this was something different and exciting.

"Yeah… I'm positive." She was nervous, I could tell.

I took a deep breath. This was… I won't lie. I was shitting myself. This was big. This was massive. This was positively life changing!

"I- I- Oh wow, I need a moment." I had to sit down. I walked to the sofa and sat myself down, and put my head in my hands.

"I- I'm sorry Tom. This has ruined everything!" she cried.

"No." I looked up at her and motioned for her to sit on my lap. "You haven't ruined everything. Not at all. It's equally mine as it is yours. And besides… this… this could be good." I rubbed her arms.

"But… Oh, God! Tom what are we going to do? What will we tell our _parents_? What will we tell the others?" she started hyperventilating.

"Gi. This will all be ok. I will be with you all the way." I told her seriously.

"We're g-going t-to be p-parents."

* * *

_Dougie_

I leant on the wall. God this was giving me some bad memories. I was all too familiar with this alleyway. It was one of the places where the boys and I exchanged… _contraband_ - basically weaponry and shit; black-market trade. I was waiting for them then, and it brought a wave of nostalgia to me. I didn't miss those times… but I had to admit, they were a hell of a lot simpler. I knew my place. Now… now I wasn't so sure. I was admired by thousands, but yet again, coming back here, I felt like I belonged. I didn't like it, but it made me who I am.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is!"

I couldn't help but grin when I heard Chris' voice. I looked up at my three (ex-) best friends. We 'man-hugged' and greeted each other. I had to admit, they may be ignorant dicks, but hey, they were my best mates. I kinda missed them.

"The fuck you've been up to? Famous and all that!" Ben grinned.

"Yeah, well." I shrugged. "How's Matty? Last time I spoke to ya he was shot."

"Yeah… he's good. Been relieved of field duties." Ben shrugged.

"Oh, man, The Racketeer will fucking murder ya!" Nate said sombrely.

"I fucking know. Who the fuck grassed me, man?" I asked him.

"Well, the guy who came up to me was a newbie. 'Bout our age. Thinks he's all that because he found out 'bout you. Little git if you ask me!" Nate muttered.

"Who was he?" I asked. I just couldn't picture Tom doing this to me. It just _had_ to be someone else.

"Some weird guy. Really monotonous. Red head. Freckles." Chris said. So… it wasn't Tom. Of course it couldn't be. Tom was far too innocent. I was surprised they knew what monotonous meant! Wait a second…That… described someone I knew…

"Who exactly… um, do you know if…" It couldn't be him? _Could it?_

"Doug… do you know him?" Nate asked.

"_Please_ tell us you know him. Would help a-fucking bunch." Ben said, hopeful.

"But… he's always in the background… silent. The-The little shit! I'm invited to his _wedding_. He was my _friend_! The little-" I punched the wall.

I couldn't believe he would do that to me! He befriended me that night Danny introduced us. Of course, come to think of it Rachel did most the talking. I bet you _she_ knew as well!

The pain started becoming prominent in my hand, and my wrist bled. I hissed, shaking it, hoping to relive some of the pain

"Doug? Who is he?"

"Ryan. He was supposed to be my fucking friend." I snapped, the pain making me hiss.

"B-But… You didn't _tell_ him, right?" Ben asked cautiously.

"Of course not!" I spat.

"How did he find out?" Nate frowned.

"That's what I'd like to find out."

* * *

The sound of a door slamming made Shawna jump. She went downstairs and realized Dougie was back, looking really angry. She noted his fists were bleeding and she sighed. He punched a wall again.

"Who grassed?" she dared ask.

"Ryan." Dougie spat.

"Rachel's fiancé? Seriously? The dick! How did he even find out?" Shawna was shocked.

"Fuck knows!" Dougie was pacing. She watched him and knew he was slowly losing it. He needed a breather.

"Dougie… I think you should visit your sister." She said softly, her hand on his shoulder, stopping his pacing. Dougie nodded, and she felt him relax slightly. "Do you want me to come with you? I haven't visited in a long time."

Shawna was close to Jazzie when she was alive. She taught the younger girl how to wear make-up without looking like a slag, and how to look attractive without being a slut.

"No… no… I feel like I should go alone." Dougie said quietly. Shawna nodded. He needed this.

* * *

_Dougie_

"Jazz… I know I haven't visited for a hell of a long time. I'm sorry, I'm a shit brother. I guess you can say there's a lot of shit going on in my life at the moment, if you're really up in heaven, watching like that preacher said you'd be, you'll know… but I want to tell you anyway, because it feels right, and I need to get it off my chest.

"You remember when I approached The Racketeer, and he got some people to get back at that sick bastard who… did what they did to you? Yeah, he's getting his back at me. He sent me this letter a week before my seventeenth birthday." I retrieved the letter from my pocket, "_Dougie, did you miss me? Thought that if you ran away I'd forget? Ha! No, you're in debt to me, boy. I made sure your sister's killer was caught, and helped you avenge her death, now I've thought of how you can repay me. We had a deal. I have a small... issue, with John Dale, good friend of yours, isn't he? I need him out of my life, which means I need his life... terminated... Now, wouldn't it be a coincidence in five years, if he was still alive, and Shawna Jackson and her son... disappeared? _Signed; The Racketeer. Fucking sick, yeah? Well for a whole year and then some I was shitting it, Jazz. I started feeling low again, and I started hurting myself again, Jazz. I know you wouldn't like that, but I couldn't help it. Tom caught me. He started getting on my back. Then Shawna came back to my life. You always liked her, didn't you? She wanted to be here today, but I needed to do this alone.

"So yeah, she and I got back together – she has a son now, you know. James. He's the sweetest little boy. You always wanted a son, didn't you? You'd love him. So anyway, Shawna came with news of a gang wanting to take The Racketeer down – I really shouldn't be saying this in public, but I need to. So, I joined them, and we had a plan – risky, but brilliant. Tom knows we have a plan, but I haven't told him what it is. I can't tell you either, Jazz, in case someone hears. That's what brought me and Shawna back here. But guess what, Jazz? _He _knows my involvement.

"I'm so scared, Jazzie. He's going to kill me if he finds me. I guess it won't be all bad; I'll get to see you again. Have you seen mum there? If you are in heaven, that is. Although, if you are, I doubt mum is. If she is… is she like she was when she died? Or is she like she was before everything went wrong? Like she was when we were little?

"I miss you so much Jazz. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll join you soon enough. I guess it'll be much simpler if He does kill me. Spare everyone the effort." I sighed. I stayed, sat cross-legged by her grave, and started picking at the grass. I was crying, but I didn't bother to dry up the tears, just let them fall. I tried to clear my head a little, get everything into perspective.

"I don't _want_ to die, Jazz. I want to stay here with the guys, and Shawna, and James. Thanks to Ryan – my so-called friend for grassing me out, I can't though, if all goes as The Racketeer plans. Let's face it; it _always_ goes like He plans. I'll try to live though… I think. I miss you, Jazzie, but I know that by dying, I have more to lose than to win… You can survive without me for now, right?"

I hugged my knees close to my chest and shivered. It was late January, and freezing cold, but I couldn't care less. I felt arms wrap around me, and I looked up from the grave to find Shawna there. She didn't say anything, only silently hugged me, bringing me some small comfort and warmth. I saw James standing, looking puzzled.

"Jay, this is where Aunty Jazzie's sleeping." Shawna beckoned him closer.

He pointed at the gravestone and questioned, "This Aunty Jazzie?"

Shawna nodded, and the little boy did something unexpected, he ran up to the gravestone and hugged it with his tiny little arms.


	27. Chapter 26

**I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I've improved it as much as I can. Two adds in two days. I'm proud of myself. Might update again tomorrow if I have the time :)**

**Don't own McFly.**

* * *

_Tom_

Giovanna and I slowly grew accustomed to the idea of being parents, and the more we grew accustomed to it, the more excited we got. Sure, it was early, and unexpected, but we felt like we could do it. We decided not to tell anyone until Dougie and Shawna came back, and Ryan returned from his everlasting business trip. Giovanna and I had been to our first scan, and it was incredible. We heard the heartbeat. It was amazing, it made it all feel so much more real; a little boy or girl was growing inside my girlfriend. My baby. It was so incredible, and we felt so blessed to have something like this happening to us.

It was the hardest thing ever, to keep it a secret, when we wanted to shout out our good news to the world. But we had to wait, although we told our families, who were shocked at how sudden it was, but were happy for us, nevertheless. They gave us their blessing, which was all we could ever ask for. Giovanna was terrified for the birth, and was dying to ask Shawna for advice, although we knew she and Dougie would want their privacy, and we didn't want to tell them the news over the phone.

I was worried for Dougie. This whole plan thing sounded very reckless and risky, but I knew that I was ignorant when it came to this kind of stuff; and to be honest, sometimes, ignorance is bliss. I was also worried for Danny and Gemma. Gemma was terrified for her life – and the fact that the police had stopped investigating was disgraceful! I just hoped Dougie's 'friend', Officer Sanders was able to do something about it.

* * *

_Dougie_

I was pulled, literally from my sleep. My eyes flew open when I was yanked out of bed. Mr Jackson slammed me against the wall, my head whacking against the wall and I felt a sharp pain. His face was beet red. He was fuming. I just stared at him in wild confusion.

"What the fuck have you done now?!" he shouted in my face. What?!

I shook the sleep from my eyes. "I ain't done anything!" I spat, pushing him off me, rubbing the back of my head.

"Yeah, sure, the cops are 'ere because of nothin'!" Mr Jackson scoffed. The police were here? What the fuck?

"Dad, Doug hasn't done anything." Shawna defended me, holding my arm, restraining me gently. I didn't notice her waking up. A loud cry echoed around the room. The commotion had woken James. Shawna sighed and picked him up from the bed, soothing him.

"Um, excuse me, Mr Jackson, I'd like to speak with Dougie and Shawna." My eyes nearly bulged out of my head as Officer Sanders entered the room.

"Of course, Officer." Mr Jackson muttered, glaring at me. I glared right back as he left. Dickhead.

"Still a thug at heart, aren't you, Doug?" Officer Sanders rolled his eyes.

"What are you even doing here? How did you even _know_ I was here?" I asked him.

"Well, I'm here doing the same as you're supposedly doing. Visiting. And I spoke to your friend, Daniel." Officer Sanders explained, inviting himself in and sitting on Shawna's bed. I rolled my eyes and threw on a shirt, feeling over-exposed in front of the Officer in just my boxers.

"Well, you still didn't answer what are you doing here, specifically." Shawna shot back.

"I've decided to re-visit an old case, concerning Lee Kennick. The police in London have no evidence in order to arrest him on what he's doing to Gemma. The best she could do is getting a restraining order on him, but we all know that would never work on him. So, I've told Danny that I'd revisit an old case that Miss Jackson here would be all-too familiar with." Sanders said.

"I'm familiar with many cases." Shawna told him.

"Lee Kennick used to be your boyfriend, did he not?" Sanders asked. Shawna nodded, "And the record is, that he was an aggressive and violent partner. His girlfriend before you reported that he was abusive, but we couldn't do anything because they had broken up before she reported this. Did he show any signs of domestic abuse when the both of you were together?"

"Uh-" Shawna froze up. I wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Shaw, you need to tell him." I murmured to her.

"Y-yes, he was… violent." Shawna managed to get out.

"Thank you, Shawna, that's all I need. I don't need any details from you." Officer Sanders smiled, "But, I'm going to need you to speak in court, and I can't promise they'll let you go so swiftly there."

Shawna nodded faintly, "I might as well tell you now then. I-It'll make it easier. He… hit me, quite often. At the beginning of the relationship, he was manipulative. I didn't realize at the time. I thought he was lovely. Then as the relationship progressed, he got possessive, and if I only talked to other guys, he would become… horrid. Then he started hitting me, after I found out I was pregnant. Once I gave birth he got even more violent, and he completely ignored James. I don't think he ever properly looked at him. So I left."

I wrapped my arm around her tighter and pulled her close to me, and she buried her face into my chest. James frowned in her arms, not understanding.

"Thank you, Shawna. You're very brave for telling me this. Dougie, I need to talk to you alone for a minute." Officer Sanders looked at me. I nodded and reluctantly detached myself from Shawna, kissing the top of her head and he and I walked out to the hall.

"I hear that you're quite the topic in The Racketeer's HQ." Officer Sanders said quietly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess you can say that." I muttered awkwardly.

"Look, you're in some serious shit. Now, I know all about Carson's gang, and I know they know about you – _only you_. You want my advice, stay in the plan. The Racketeer won't do anything to you because he's too naturally curious."

"You're a really corrupted cop, y'know." I smirked.

"Oh, I know. Now take my advice." He told me sternly.

"I will." I nodded.

"Ok, there's something else you need to know. I was told to give you this. It's from your father." He handed me an envelope. "Be careful. You never know."

"Thanks." I muttered, staring at the envelope.

"You're welcome. Now, I should go. Tell Shawna she'll get a letter about the court date." Sanders told me.

"Yeah, thanks Sandy." I smirked and watched him descended the stairs.

"Oh, I thought that ended when you were fifteen." He groaned, making me laugh.

I walked back to Shawna's bedroom where Shawna was getting James dressed.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked her softly, wrapping my arms around her from behind.

"Yeah… I need to get it out. I know that if I do, it means that _bastard_ gets some jail time." She said simply, pulling on James' trousers. "What did he want with you?" She asked me.

"Well, he knows about the plan, and he told me to ignore the fact _He_ knows and continue, and he gave me this." I disentangled myself from her and showed her the envelope, "From my dad."

"Open it then!" Shawna said, eagerly, finishing dressing James and turning to face me.

"Um, ok." I cautiously opened the envelope and pulled out the letter that was inside.

_Dear Dougie,_

_I am writing this to warn you. My brother just wrote to me saying he's moving down from Newcastle to London, and he said that he's visiting his son. I know this will come as a big shock, but his son's name is Lee Kennick. Lee Kennick is your cousin. You're both named after your grandfather, Lee. Now you're probably wondering why the hell I've never acknowledged this, well it's because your uncle never found out until four years ago, and by then it was too late to start. _

_I know you have trouble trusting me right now, and you're right to. I have no idea what I was thinking when I tried to kill you. I was drunk, upset and had gone a little stir-crazy from the prison. I was mad at your mother, and upset because of her death. I know you'll never forgive me, but please trust me when I say, Lee Kennick and my brother are one of the same. Dangerous._

_Your dad._

No. No, no, no, no, no. I had enough shit to deal with. Not this too. It just… No! No, we were _nothing _alike… well…

_No!_

"T-This cannot be true. It-I-… I can't be related to that…" I dropped the letter onto the floor. I was _not_ related to Lee Kennick. He was _not_ my cousin.

"Doug?" Shawna looked at me, concerned as I just stared straight at the wall, trying to process everything. Shawna bent to grab the letter. I watched as her eyes widened as she read it. "Doug- What?" she looked from the letter to me with a frown.

"I'm related to a bunch of nutcases. Might as well add that one to my messed up family tree." I sighed finally, and collapsed on the bed.

"Wait… so James is your-"

"Second cousin? Is that how it works?" I shrugged. "Who the fuck knows anymore? I've been lied to so often I don't even know the truth anymore." 

"I won't lie to you. I haven't since we broke up. It's all the truth with me. I've learnt the hard way that lying is the easy way out, but hard to get out of." Shawna sighed, lying next to me on the bed. James moved from where he was seated on the bed so that he sat between the both of us, he started poking me in the face. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down on top of me and held him close. He was giggling as I started tickling him.

"I find it incredible that two people so closely blood related can be so different." Shawna breathed, making me look at her. She was looking at me and James incredulously. "Lee wouldn't even acknowledge him."

"We know one thing. I'm the better cousin." I smiled as James sat up again on top of me and started to crawl towards Shawna.

"That's most certainly the truth." Shawna grinned, pulling James who got stuck in the sheets towards her. I smiled and leant over and kissed her gently.

"Ew!" James interrupted the moment.

"Aw, James, you want a kiss too?" Shawna kissed his cheek, and he immediately rubbed where she kissed in a disgusted manner.

"Just you wait, mate. In ten years, your opinion will be way different." I laughed.

* * *

_Danny_

I was lying in bed with Gem, when the phone started to ring. I groaned and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello, Danny Jones? It's Officer Sanders. I'm calling to tell you we're able to arrest Lee Poynter-Kennick."

"What?" I sat bolt upright in bed.

"Yes, we're arresting him on cause of domestic violence to Libby Jane Lewis and Shawna Mackenzie Jackson, and threatening behavior to the public."

"Wait… did you just say his name is Lee _Poynter-_Kennick?" I frowned and Gemma looked up in confusion.

"Yes. That is legally his name." Officer Sanders said. Ok, he couldn't be related to Doug? Could he?

"Oh, well thank you, Officer." I said, slightly dumbstruck.

"I will send you a letter of when his court date is, but I can assure you that Gemma will be safe. We're keeping him in the station until court."

"Thank you so much, Officer. Good bye." I hung up.

"Have they caught him?" Gemma asked hopefully. I nodded and she squealed in happiness and attacked me in an embrace leading in me nearly toppling over off the bed.

"Whoa, someone's happy." I laughed. I hadn't seen her so… childlike and full of joy for so long, but finally she was back to the Gemma I first met and fell in love with. Her spirit was back.

"I'm free!" she jumped out of the bed and did a little happy-dance. I couldn't stop smiling. I got out of bed and picked her up, spinning her around. She giggled uncontrollably and kissed me passionately on the lips.

"Hey, you never heard Dougie mention a brother or cousin or anything other than Charlotte, no? Because Lee's full name was Lee Poynter-Kennick." I frowned, this memory from the phone call dampening my mood.

"No… but it could be just a coincidence." Gemma shrugged, the smile not leaving her face. "Let's go somewhere!"

I laughed at her happiness, "Ok, ok, but get dressed first."


	28. Chapter 27

**I'm sorry I didn't update when I said I would. I've been busy studying (it's not fun). So anyway, I've managed to come up with this, and I do think it could be better, but honestly after reading The Fault in our Stars by John Green, I think everything I write is shit, so yeah. I envy his skills. **

**I don't own McFly, this is all coming from my messed up head. It's completely and utterly fictional.**

* * *

_Dougie_

"They're planning a drug import on the 3rd of February. That's next week." Nate suggested. We were all in Mr Travis' shop at midnight, planning a date. Shawna's parents had grudgingly agreed to watch James.

"Is there anything nearer?" Carson asked. We were all eager to just get it over and done with so we could get back to our usual lives.

"Well, they're planning a meeting tomorrow. But that means everyone, including us will be in one room. The plan won't work." Ben said.

"That… that could work…" Carson mused, starting to pace.

"Huh?" Shawna stared at him like he was insane.

"How?" Kimmy asked.

"Well, the Hooded Figures won't be in there. So we'll need Poynter, Grey, Travis and James to take them out." I nodded, and looked over at Mr Grey, Mr Travis and Tyger and they all looked ok with it as well. "Once we've got them dealt with, we'll need Kimmy to scream outside the warehouse, and Shawna, you'll need to 'try to quiet her down'. Then they'll want to know what the hell's going on, so The Racketeer will send some men out, and then the twins could take them out. Kimmy'll keep on screaming, and more men will be sent out, and then Poynter, Grey and Travis enter the room the meeting's in, and then Nate, Ben and Chris will help them out. James will call the police. And there." Carson said. It wasn't as good as the first plan, but it_ could_ work. If The Racketeer was an idiot… which he wasn't.

"What if The Racketeer sends Nate, Ben and Chris out?" I challenged.

"Well, there will be nothing we can do." Carson shrugged.

"But then Grey, Travis and I'll be ridiculously outnumbered!"

"You'll be fine." Carson shrugged it off.

"But the police might arrest _us_ for violence instead of The Racketeer." Mr Travis spoke up.

"Exactly!" the twins agreed.

"Ok, so there are a lot of faults-"

"There are way too many faults for it to be put in action!" Tyger snapped… and you do not want that guy to snap. We all winced in sync.

"Well, can any of_ you_ think of anything better?" Carson challenged. There was silence. "Exactly. I'll see you all tomorrow, 9pm sharp, all here."

We all walked out of the shop looking rather defeated. Shawna, Kimmy and I all walked towards their childhood home, low spirited after that disappointing meeting. Carson had given us all false hope. We all arrived back home and we decided silently to go to the kitchen. We sat by the table, and sighed.

"I'm gonna die no matter what, it's all decided." I muttered. That new plan made me lose every bit of hope. I knew we were doomed.

"Oh, hell no! You ain't upsetting my sister like that!" Kimmy snapped with some serious sass. Kimmy was sassy when she was pissed off, and that sass could be seriously freaky.

"Well, do you see Carson changing his mind? His plan gets worse and worse the more you think about it!" I hissed, careful not to wake Mr and Mrs Jackson or James.

"Well, we could come up with a better one." Shawna suggested.

"By tomorrow?" Kimmy raised her eyebrows.

"Well, yeah…" Shawna shrugged.

"And what do you suggest?" Kimmy asked.

"Well, I was thinking… they all, except for the Hooded Figures and Base Babes will be in the meeting room, right?" Shawna asked, Kimmy and I nodded, "Well… we could all go in disguised."

Kimmy and I exchanged looks. Of course! "You - are, brilliant!" I grinned at my girlfriend, kissing her deeply on the lips.

"But, what after?" Kimmy asked, being sensible.

"Well, we could attack them on the inside, couldn't we? Take the minions down and then hold The Racketeer himself captive, and his main men. And call the police." Shawna said simply. Simple but so effective.

"Why couldn't Carson think of that?" I wondered. It was really obvious…

"Why couldn't _you_?" Shawna rolled her eyes.

"Kimmy, call Carson." I told her.

"Way ahead of you, Doug." She said, leaving the room with her phone in her hand. I grinned and kissed my genius girlfriend.

* * *

_Tom_

Giovanna and I went for her first scan earlier that day. We found out she was in fact two months along, and that everything was as it should be. We lay in bed that night and we both started to think of names. I liked the name Caitlyn for a girl; Giovanna liked Arianna, as it kept with her Italian roots. We had more trouble with boys' names. Aaron was a name we both liked.

"Tom… what will Fletch say, about this and the band?" Gi murmured.

"Whatever he says, it won't matter. I want this, you want this, and that's it. Everyone else will have to deal with it." I told her.

"But where we're from… early pregnancies don't happen." Gi worried.

"No… but they were frequent on the other side." I smiled, "And I'm afraid that Doug has successfully converted us."

"However… I always thought they had the right idea about love. Just following instinct." She leant forward and kissed me on the lips.

* * *

_Dougie_

9pm the next day, we were all gathered in the shop, waiting for Nate, Chris and Ben to bring us some costumes or whatever. The meeting was starting at 10, so we had to hurry. The guys eventually turned up with a bin bag of costumes. James was with Shawna's parents again. We were all handed costumes. The Hooded Figure costume wasn't much of a costume, though; we only had to wear a black hoodie with a big hood.

Ok, the Base Bitches were super sluts; I think we have that established. They were the headquarters' whores. And Shawna was fucking _fit_ in that costume. It could barely be called a costume, showing that much skin, but I was glad it was. I think I was drooling, but I didn't fucking care. I saw that the other guys were staring, and I felt the need to wrap my arms around her. She was mine, and they all should know that.

"I am seeing way too much of my sister right now!" Sam covered his eyes, not looking at his twin, Jessi.

"This costume doesn't come in a bigger size, does it?" Jessi frowned, pulling the skirt/belt down.

"Nope, now try and look confident!" Carson muttered.

"I look like my mother when she was in school." Kimmy muttered, looking at her reflection in the glass.

"If that's how your mother looks, she's a milf!" Tyger smirked.

"Shawna's a milf!" Sam smirked, and I shot him a glare. "Whoa, sorry dude."

"Ok, ok! You all know your roles. Now, we only have one chance at this, so you better make it work, alright? No playing around!" Carson ordered. We nodded and we headed out.

"These outfits are not winter friendly." Shawna shivered. I pulled off my hoodie and handed it to her. "But, you'll need it." She frowned, pulling it on. It came up to her mid-thigh.

"I'll put it on when we get there." I shrugged, and put my arm around her waist, "Besides, I didn't like the way the guys were looking at you." I murmured, kissing her neck, making her blush. "The skin that outfit's showing should be for my eyes only."

"Oh, really?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Yes," I said, kissing her on the lips. She pulled away and looked troubled.

"Dougie… I need to t-"

"Hey! You two! This is not the time!" Carson shouted at us, and we ran to catch up with everyone. Whatever she had to say had to wait, but I had a nagging feeling that it was seriously important.

* * *

_Harry_

Jess was driving me slowly insane. Since Shawna was back in Essex for a while, and the shop was too busy for just her and Ivy to handle, she was making me work! So unfair. I was only allowed to work in the back room, though, because of my fame. I really hated it. I already had a fucking job for God's sake!

Gemma was a constant visitor now she was free from Lee. She still had time off where she worked with Rachel at the salon. She came to gossip with Jess and Ivy, and came to keep me company in the back room as well, bless her.

Tom and Giovanna were acting rather weird, being all secretive and all, but they seemed happy so it was all ok. We all went over to their house to hang out, and Giovanna was nearly bursting from excitement.

"Ok, so we were going to wait until Dougie, Shawna and Ryan were back… but I can't wait." Giovanna jumped up and down.

Oh please don't say _they're_ engaged as well! Rachel and Ryan are enough.

"We know it's soon and a little reckless; but I'm pregnant."

Wait, what?

"Are you serious?" Gemma's eyes nearly fell from their sockets.

"Yes. And it is unexpected, but we've been thinking about it, and we've decided to go through with it." Tom smiled.

"Wow. _Unexpected_ it is, mate!" Adam muttered.

"Well I think this is lovely, congrats!" Rachel hugged them both.

"Yeah, congrats, guys!" Danny grinned.

Is everyone happy except for me? I wished Kimmy would come back, I needed to win her over.

* * *

**I think it goes without saying that something's bound to go wrong ;)**


	29. Chapter 28

**I'm sorry that the last few adds haven't been my best. It's just that I'm really busy right now, and will be until the summer, so I've decided that the only time I'll add is if I'm completely happy with the add myself, because I don't wan't to give more shitty adds, so please understand if updates are slow. **

**This add is much longer than I expexted it to be! And get prepared from some action and drama.**

**I don't own McFly**

* * *

_Dougie_

We reached the seemingly abandoned warehouse, and Shawna handed me my hoodie back. Everyone was silent as we walked up to it. We were tense, prepared for anything.

"Ok, here it goes." I muttered, and we entered the building. What looked like an abandoned piece of junk on the outside was… pretty bloody amazing on the inside. The interior was incredible. It looked so futuristic, like something out of a spy movie.

Nate, Ben and Chris had said that Hooded Figures usually just walked around looking tough and stuff, which sounded pretty easy. Base Bitches just walked around looking available and easy… and I'm pretty sure Shawna, Kimmy and Jessi would find that hard; mostly because Shawna _wasn't_ available… or easy either.

So we started walking around, acting casual as Ben, Nate and Chris went to the meeting room. We had to wait for the signal before we started knocking people out. It was eerily quiet as I walked. Carson told us not to wonder too far from the Meeting Room. I wondered around and passed a few Base Bitches and Hooded Figures; some ours, some others. I recognized them all from school, and I hoped they didn't recognize me, and that my hood concealed me enough.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, the first signal. Now I had to approach the Meeting Room. It vibrated again on the way, now: hit whoever was in the way – as silent as possible. I saw a redheaded Base Bitch ahead of me, and winced. God forgive me for this. I covered her mouth from behind and punched her in the head so hard, she instantly was knocked out.

"I am so sorry." I told her as I rushed ahead. I saw a hooded figure I didn't recognize and decided not to hesitate. I knee-d him where it hurt, and watched as he fell to the floor. I kicked him in the head, and ran to the Meeting Room doors, where the gang was waiting.

"Ok, let's go." Carson said. I noticed Shawna had a scratch on her cheek, and felt the need to go up to her, but this wasn't the time. We had to move.

* * *

When they entered the meeting room, they felt the stares. Shawna felt herself grow self-conscious with what she was wearing, and decided to cower behind Dougie. Her cheek was still stinging from where the Base Bitch she encountered had scratched her. Shawna was no coward, and she was the most stubborn, and determined person ever, but when it came to her body, she was immensely shy. Especially now.

Carson waited no time before creating chaos. Gun shots sounded and they all leapt to catch their pray off guard. What? This wasn't what was meant to happen. They were supposed to just hold them hostage. But they had no time to worry; they had to be on the defence. Nate, Ben and Chris shot up from their seats and started joining in on their side. It had quickly turned brutal.

Shawna saw someone she most certainly recognized – the dick who got her boyfriend into more trouble than what he was already in, and ran up to Dougie who was finishing off a guy.

"Doug! Doug! I've found that quiet guy, Rachel's fiancé, Ryan." She told him.

"What? Where?" Dougie dropped the guy he was beating.

"There, with The Racketeer." Shawna pointed him out

* * *

Rachel hugged Giovanna, expressing her happiness for the couple. Her mind, though, was elsewhere. Ryan was in Essex, and she knew exactly why. She felt so, so much guilt. She had fought with him for hours over this. She even threatened to end their engagement. Dougie was their friend. The betrayal he was showing was painful. He had told her that he had found the letter Dougie had from The Racketeer, and decided to join The Racketeer's ranks, as he believed in the same values. You get help, and you return the favour.

Then he revealed he overheard the conversation Dougie had with Tom before he left. Dougie had a plan to take the Racketeer down. Rachel supported the plan. A guy as power hungry and vindictive as that should be arrested; but Ryan was gone.

Rachel let go of Giovanna and watched as her friends adjusted to the situation and they all also congratulated Tom and Gi. She waited until Tom was left alone and knew that he was the one man she could talk to now, to express her worry and regret.

"Um, Tom, can I speak to you for a second?" she asked. Tom frowned but nodded and they went to the kitchen. "Tom. I need to tell you something, it's eating me up inside. I know you know about Dougie's involvement with The Racketeer – and before you say anything; no he didn't tell me. Ryan found out. He - He's not on a business trip, he's joined_ them_, Tom, and he's betraying Dougie. He overheard you guys talking, and has told The Racketeer."

"W-What?" Tom blinked.

"Yes, and Tom, they're having a meeting tonight, about how to…_ terminate_, Dougie." Rachel said faintly.

"Shit!" Tom exclaimed.

"I know! What should we do?"

"Um… ok, ok… if I know Doug, he'll be able to handle himself. Oh, shit. We should phone him. That… That's the best we can do, really."

* * *

_Dougie_

"Hey, Ryan." I sauntered up to my supposed friend.

"Dougie!" he looked surprised to see me.

"You're a dick, you know that?!" I snapped at him.

"Better than being disloyal." Ryan spat.

"Dougie, Dougie, Dougie." The Racketeer walked up to me.

"Oh, and _you_ just fuck off!" I was a little angry, I turned to glare at Ryan again, "Why did you do it?" I was hurt, betrayed, and I needed to know why.

"Because, I was fed up of you saying that you were so Goddamn tough! Thought you knew it all. I found the letter, and saw an opportunity. Then I overheard your talk with Thomas. You're a coward, you know!"

I was just about to hit him when -

"POLICE!"

And there was mayhem. I was pulled away from Ryan and The Racketeer. Everything then happened in an instant. I was dragged away as the Police took control of the situation. They completely raided the HQ. Shots echoed around the room, people were screaming. It was chaos. Ryan broke free though, and ran up to me, punching me in the face. I broke free from the grip of whoever was holding me and punched him back with a bigger force, and he lost his balance. He toppled over to the floor, and I took the opportunity to demolish him.

"Doug!" Nate pulled me off him.

"Of course you're a part of this! Traitors!" Ryan spat at the three, his mouth bloody. I finally looked around. There were dead bodies everywhere. I sighed, I knew some of my friends would be arrested, 25 to life tonight. The police were arresting The Racketeer, and everyone alive. I spotted Officer Sanders approaching us, looking sad.

"You're under arrest." He told Ryan, pulling him up to his feet. He then looked at me.

"And let me guess; assault?" I raised my eyebrows, and held my bloody hands out for him to cuff.

"No, what _I_ saw was defence." Sanders smirked, "I just wanted to inform you that Kennick's court case is in two weeks." _Quick!_ It usually took a good few months.

"Ok, thanks, dude." I nodded at him.

"Anytime, Doug. You're a good kid, y'know. Just let this be the last time you're at a scene of a crime, yeah?"

"Trust me, if it's up to me, it is." I told him seriously. I looked down at my hands and knew that this was the last time I willingly fought. I was tired. I was fed up. I didn't want to be that tough teenager who was a known loose cannon. Who stole, who fought, who had always seen worse. I didn't want to become my father.

"Good luck, Poynter. You'll need it." Sanders smiled, then looked at Ryan, "Come on, you're gonna have a lovely time in jail."

"Oh, it is_ lovely_ in there." I said sarcastically, smirking at a broken looking Ryan.

I saw Mr Grey bleeding nearby and then felt a wave of panic. Where was Shawna? I walked through the maze of people, scanning the place for Shawna. Please let her be ok. I knew she could take care of herself, she had on numerous occasions; but then again a lot of big burly men who could take care of themselves and many others were taken down. I spotted her going outside and followed swiftly. I spotted her sitting on the ground outside, shivering. She was crying, looking like she was in deep pain.

"Hey, Shaw, what's wrong?" I crouched next to her, scared for the answer.

"I-I've been shot." She said weakly.

My eyes widened and my eyes darted down to her abdomen, where her hands were pressed firmly against her skin. My mind froze.

"Shit!" I shouted and took off my hoodie and removed her hands. The wound was horrifying, and I struggled not to react so that she didn't know how bad it was. I pressed the hoodie against the wound. "Um, ok, ok… stay here, keep this pressed against here. I'm gonna go and get help, ok? Please, just stay put." I kissed her forehead, and raced back inside.

My eyes darted around the room, and I spotted a paramedic. I rushed up to him and got his attention.

"Sir, my girlfriend's outside, she's been shot!" I told him quickly.

Thankfully, he was on the ball, and reacted immediately. He called his team over and I led them to Shawna. She was looking awfully pale now, and she was losing a lot of blood. I stood aside, and watched as they examined her.

"We need to take her to the hospital, it's gone too deep." One of them announced. They carried her towards an ambulance and I followed numbly. I knew what that meant. She was dying.

* * *

_Tom_

"Rach, he's not answering." I said numbly.

"Oh, no." Rachel wailed.

How did it happen? This day had rapidly changed from one of the best days of my life, to the worst. There's a chance that one of my best friends was dead.


	30. Chapter 29

**Sorry, sorry, sorry that this has taken me so long! It's just that I wanted it to be good, and I've been so busy! Anyway, it's here now, and I hope it pleases. **

**Please review, they make me happy :)**

**Don't own McFly**

* * *

_Dougie_

Beep… Beep… Beep…

That was the only sound confirming that the body lying in front of me was alive. She looked dead, she felt dead, she sounded dead… but that continuous, regular beeping told me otherwise, gave me hope. Kimmy was sitting next to me, with James on her lap. Mr and Mrs Jackson were outside. I watched her unmoving figure emotionlessly – well, my facial expression was. In fact, I was devastated. I was heartbroken. I couldn't function, knowing she was on the brink. The doctors say she should wake up soon, no set date nor time, only soon – they hoped.

I felt the phone in my pocket vibrate once more. I sighed, and decided to check the caller ID. It was Rachel. She and Tom had been calling me nonstop.

I excused myself from the scene and walked outside to take the call.

"Hello."

"Oh my God, Dougie you're ok!" Rachel exclaimed in relief.

"Yeah," I muttered, "I am."

I glanced over at the lifeless body through the window of the door. _I_ was fine, but Shawna was another story, and I wished I was in her place. I wished I could reverse time. I wished I could take away her pain. I leant against the wall, feeling the guiltiest I've ever felt.

"I am so, so, so sorry about Ryan. I tried everything to talk him out of it, and I felt so guilty… and earlier he told me- and-and"

"Doug, what happened?" I heard Tom take over from the blubbering mess Rachel had become.

"T-There was a massive fight… and, I-I'm fine…b- but Shawna's not. She was shot. A-And right now… we're not a 100% sure if she'll live." I sunk to the floor, and fought against tears that were threatening to take over.

"Oh my God! Which hospital are you in? We'll be right there!" Tom said.

"There's only one in town, you dolt." I said, suppressing the urge to break down.

"Oh, yeah, good point. Give us a few." And he hung up, and I let the tears win.

* * *

_Tom_

"Shawna's been shot." I told Rachel. Her hands flew to her mouth in shock, "They're not sure if she'll make it."

The news Dougie gave me had truly shocked me to the core. I knew that Dougie worshipped her, and that this must be killing him. I just imagined Giovanna in her place, and just the thought made me feel sick. I was in a sure state of shock, but I _couldn't_ freeze up. I needed to take charge of the situation – however horrid it may be.

"We need to go there." She demanded, "Everyone's still here from last night, right? We need to go up there."

"Yes, she's in the only hospital in town, so that's great. Oh my God, I could only imagine what Dougie's feeling right now." I muttered.

"What do we tell everyone?" Rachel asked.

"We might as well tell the truth now." I sighed. There was no point in lying.

We rounded everyone up to the living room, and we told them all we knew. They were shocked, absolutely shocked.

"This… this explains so much." Danny said. "I can't believe he didn't tell us."

"We have to go to see Shawna." Jess said.

"There's a train in ten minutes. Let's go!"

* * *

_Dougie_

"Why mummy still sleeping? She been sleeping for long." James was beginning to speak better. Kimmy had gone to get something to eat, and it was only me and James in the room. The little boy was like a comfort blanket for me. A little piece of her.

"Because, Jay, mummy's really tired. We can't wake her, ok? She needs her sleep. She'll wake up, and then she'll be alright again." I told the little boy, wishing it were true.

"Dougie, I twierd now too. I sleep like mummy." The little boy snuggled against me.

"Ok… but please, don't sleep like mummy." I whispered, holding him tight.

* * *

_Tom_

The train journey seemed incredibly long. I was impatient. I had to be there. We arrived the station in Essex, and I led the speed-walking towards the hospital. Luckily, it was near the train station. We reached the hospital and I demanded to know which room Shawna was in in the reception. We then raced upstairs to her room and we found a girl, older than Shawna, who looked freakishly like Shawna outside.

"Kimmy!" Harry greeted her, "How is she?" Um, ok, so her name was Kimmy… Ah, Shawna's siter!

"Well, a doctor has just been, and she'll live. The drugs are starting to wear off, and she _should_ wake up in a few hours." Kimmy said weakly, "If she doesn't it means she's gone into a coma and God knows then."

"Can we go in?" Danny asked.

"Go ahead." Kimmy shrugged.

We entered the room, and Dougie was sat by the bed, holding a sleeping James. Shawna looked lifeless. The sight was heart-breaking.

"Hey, dude." Danny was the first to speak.

Dougie looked up at us, his eyes looked dead, "Hi,"

"I am so, so sorry about Ryan." Rachel wailed, nearly falling to her knees.

"It's ok. I had my pay back." Dougie muttered darkly, "He's in jail now for God knows how long."

"I-I-I never thought…. I never imagined he-he h-" Rachel broke down. Gemma hugged her tightly.

"She'll be ok, Doug. She's a fighter." Danny put his arms around Dougie's shoulders. I glanced at Giovanna. She was staring at James who was sleeping away in Dougie's arms. He was clutching Dougie's tee-shirt tightly with his small little hands and Dougie was holding onto him just as tightly. She had a light smile on her face and I mimicked it; knowing we'd have that in a while.

"How long has she been like this?" Ivy asked. This must be hard; she and Jess had grown close to Shawna since her time here.

"Since about… 11pm…" Dougie shrugged, he looked up at Gemma, "I hear Lee's court is in two weeks. Sanders told me last night." Gemma nodded in response. I knew she was over the moon, but anyone could tell that this was not the time. "Oh, you want to hear something else that's blooming brilliant? I'm the dick's cousin."

See that coming, I did not.

* * *

_Dougie_

Shawna's parents finally entered the room and looked at all my friends. There had been a shocked silence since I told them the news. Gemma was staring at me like I was an alien.

"Poynter, what are your…_ friends _doing here?" Mr Jackson asked bitterly.

"We were worried about Shawna sir," Tom said bravely. Mr Jackson could scare any man. There was something up with Tom and Gi, but right then I didn't want to get into it, but they seemed to be glowing somehow.

"C'mon, we should go." I muttered to them. I wasn't in the mood to get into a fight with Mr and Mrs Jackson. Their bitterness did no benefit to my mood. We exited the room and a doctor approached me. He looked troubled and a sense of foreboding washed over me.

"Mr Poynter, can we have a word?" I nodded, then looked at the little, sleeping boy in my arms.

"Give him here." Kimmy walked up and I handed James to her, and then I followed the doctor to a little room.

This couldn't be good news, and by the look on Kimmy's face when I left, she knew. I watched as the doctor took a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak the words I in no way predicted, expected nor wished to hear.

"Mr Poynter, while we were operating on Miss Jackson, we found out that she was, in fact, about a month pregnant."

My eyes widened as I processed this news. She couldn't have been… I was careful… but of course, nothing's a 100%... I was puzzled, upset, and a strange feeling of dread filled my guts when I processed the fact that he said '_was_'.

"Mr Poynter, I'm afraid to say… the bullet killed the fetus."

Shit.

I didn't know how to feel. How_ should_ I have felt? I mean, losing what you didn't know you had in the first place shouldn't hurt, should it? You couldn't miss what you didn't have? You can't feel loss. But I did. I felt empty. I felt… hollow. I never knew what I wanted until I found out I had lost it. I had lost too many family members now. Now I was starting to feel the wane. I was struggling with the loss.

It was just like losing Jazzie again, only this time, there was a chance I'd lose _yet another_ thing that meant the most for me as well.

If I'd have known, I would've never let her come with me. I would've made her stay home. I could've prevented there was the nagging question: _Did she know?_

I felt more hatred than ever towards the person who shot her. Not only did they nearly kill my girlfriend…

They destroyed my child.


	31. Chapter 30

**Ok, so I decided since I had written most of this already that I might as well bring it to a close and put it up, since I have no idea when I'll be able to update again. I can't wait for my exams to just be over and done with!**

**I don't own McFly. If I did, I'd have a much more interesting life.**

* * *

_Tom_

Harry fancied Kimmy. It was obvious. That's how he got over Shawna. Go for the older sister, eh? And she was older as well. According to Harry, she was three years older, the same age as Jess. 23. so that makes Harry a toy-boy. Ha!

We were anxiously waiting for Dougie to come back; we knew by the look on the doctor's face that he didn't have any good news for him. Kimmy knew what he had to say. She wouldn't admit it, but she knew. Harry was trying to get it out of her, but she refused to say. She would crumble though, because, as obvious as it was to figure that Harry fancied Kimmy; Kimmy also fancied Harry.

"C'mon, Kimmy. Please?" Harry was begging.

"Harry, just let it go, mate." Adam sighed.

"No, I have to know!" Harry sighed.

"Harry, it's none of our business." Jess mumbled.

"Harry, man, just let it go." Danny put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Kim?" Harry's weak, last attempt.

"Ok, fine, I'll fucking tell you!" Kimmy grumbled, "Shawna was… expecting."

"Shit!" we all breathed. Gio just burst to tears.

How would Dougie take this? I mean, it was obvious that he adored James. He obviously wanted a family someday, you could tell. But… did he even know Shawna was pregnant? Did _she_ even know? There was one thing we were certain about. Giovanna and I could _not_ announce to him – or Shawna when she woke up, or any of Shawna's family that Giovanna was with child, because _that_ would be one hell of a kick in the face. We felt even worse than before. Not only was Shawna on the brink, but… Someone _killed_ Dougie's child. That was manslaughter. That was murder.

We all went silent as Dougie returned. He looked like he's seen a ghost. Giovanna ran up to him and hugged him, chanting at how sorry she was. Dougie just shook his head and hugged her back. I don't think any of us missed the tears. My heart broke for him. Broke into tiny little shards.

The image of his wrists was prominent in the back of my mind…

Please let Shawna get better.

* * *

It was black. All black. Shawna's last memories were hazy. She remembered watching Dougie run up to Ryan. She remembered seeing the bitch that scratched her cheek enter the Meeting Room. She remembered attacking the bitch and hearing her screech. She remembered the cry of "POLICE!" she remembered the room freezing. She remembered the chaos. She remembered a cruel smirk. She remembered a Hooded Figure raising his gun. She remembered the pain. She remembered running. She remembered Dougie, and telling him she was shot. She remembered him pressing his hoodie to the wound. She remembered him going for help. Then, she remembered; it went all black.

Shawna opened her eyes and immediately closed them again. The black was better, more relaxing. It was too bright outside, and it hurt.

"Shawna?"

Someone was saying her name. She had to open her eyes now. Why was the mean person trying to take her to the light? She groaned and opened them again. Everything was blurry. She blinked and noticed it was her sister. Her sister. She was alright.

"Oh thank God!" Kimmy sighed.

Shawna then noticed she had James with her, and that he was asleep. Shawna's attention then flew to her secret. A secret she left too late. A secret she meant to tell Dougie, before Carson interrupted them when they left the shop. A secret she only found out she had an hour before everything went wrong. She knew where she was hurt, and she knew that it was bad.

A secret she had already grew so attached to; but she knew she had no hope for.

"Kimmy…" Shawna managed to get out. Then the pain in her abdomen became more prominent, and she cried out.

"Shawna, sh, keep still." Kimmy told her sister.

"What happened?" Shawna asked. Worry was evident in her tone.

"The Racketeer and his gang are arrested, and Carson, Tyger and the twins." Kimmy told her.

"Where's Dougie?" Shawna felt another wave of panic. Dougie. What had happened to him after he went for help?

"He's here, don't worry." Kimmy assured her. Shawna immediately relaxed, but not for long, as she feared for her secret.

"Kimmy… I was…" Shawna started to cry. She knew it, she knew the truth. She could feel it, but she knew, for her own sake, she had to hear it.

"I know… Shawna… the baby didn't survive." Kimmy told her sister; finding that she was crying as well. No words could describe the utter devastation Shawna felt at those words.

* * *

_Dougie_

I was devastated. Heartbroken. Too be honest, I wasn't coping at all. Kimmy made me leave Shawna's room to go and get something to eat, but I had no appetite so I just had a coffee. I was staring at a wall. It was blank, white… like an artist's canvas. Dougie remembered once, when they were thirteen, that Shawna had a short phase of wanting to become an artist. Her parents went berserk. She had showed Dougie her drawings, and they were brilliant. Now she changed her mind, she wanted to become a primary school teacher. Dougie always thought she'd be amazing at it. She was great with kids.

"Oh my God! You're Dougie from McFly!" I looked away from the wall, breaking from my thoughts to see a young girl staring at me wide eyed.

"Uh, hi," I said awkwardly. I wasn't in a mood to entertain pre-teen girls, but I knew I had to.

"I'm in love with you!" she screeched and jumped on my lap, nearly knocking my coffee out of my hands.

"Uh, wow, easy there." I muttered, pushing her off, gently and put my coffee on the table.

"But I'm your future wife." She said, rubbing my arm. Ok, no. No, I just couldn't deal. Not now. Not under the circumstances.

"Uh, my _girlfriend_ is lying in a hospital bed right now." I muttered, and stood up.

"_I'm_ your girlfriend!" she snapped. Oh great, she was delusional.

"No, you're not." I said and decided to escape while I could.

I rushed back towards Shawna's room. I entered and had the shock of a lifetime when I saw Shawna awake, talking to Kimmy.

"Shawna!" I rushed up to her, kneeling next to where her head lay on the pillow.

"Dougie, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know until the day we had to go, and I couldn't tell you then, I was going to b-b-"

"Sh, Shawna. It's not your fault."

The both of us were crying. Mourning. I gently kissed her. We needed each other then. We were all we had. We didn't hear the door closing as Kimmy left.

"I love you." She breathed.

"I love you too. You have no idea how scared I was." I felt myself tearing up, "Watching you…"

"I know the feeling." She murmured, grabbing my hand and rubbing my wrist.

"I'm sorry." I choked.

"No, _I'm_ sorry." She was tearing up now.

"We're walking disasters, aren't we?" I smiled sadly.

"We make do, though."

She was right there. We made do. We were disasters, but that's what made us strong. It made us become the fighters we were. But we both silently, mutually agreed; that we had enough of the fighting, of the constant destruction that followed us. I think the both of us wanted some peace, normality and to be able to relax properly, without the worrying in the back of our minds that something could happen to either of us. We were fed up of being devastated, of suffering loss, of being lured into crime.

We wanted to move on from Crackstreet. For good.


	32. Chapter 31

**It's been way too long! I'm sorry! Exams are taking over my life!**

**I apologize for the crappiness of this chapter's ending. You get a lot of characters' point of views here as well. I will try to update again in the weekend, but I'm not promising anything. The next chapter will have a lot of action though I promise.**

**Don't own McFly**

* * *

The man pushed Lee back into his cell. Lee hated this. He hadn't done anything wrong! The bitches needed to be put into their place. Especially his Shawna Jackson! She loved _him_, not that idiot Dougie. He _left_ her. She was pregnant with _Lee's_ baby, but she still moped after him. His good-for-nothing, arrogant cousin. He was just like his father in the core; good ole Uncle Gary.

Lee saw Uncle Gary earlier in the day, just passing. They refused to acknowledge each other, as always. They weren't a tight-knit family. Never was, never would be.

Lee itched to see them. His girls. He never went a day without seeing his girls. His loves. They were _his _and no one else's. His Jenny, his Nicole, his Shawna, his Gemma. They were his. Lee felt the itch; he felt the need to drive to London, to see Gemma's shadow in the window. Her figure, her long blonde hair. He felt the pull to drive to Crackstreet, where he used to live with Shawna, before that little brat was born to ruin everything. He wanted to see Jenny's bouncing curls, Nicole's sleek, black hair.

He felt a flash of pain rise up his forearm, and he realizes he punched the wall. He curses.

Lee looks up as he hears the familiar struggling of a new inmate being forced in. The usual cries of 'I'm not meant to be here! I don't belong here!' but this time he recognized him. He was a friend of his Gemma. Ryan was his name. Their eyes met, and Lee felt a smile reach his face.

* * *

_Dougie_

After a while in the hospital, Shawna was allowed to go home. She didn't return to her flat though, as I managed to convince her to stay with me so I could keep my eye on her. The band and I were busy recording though, as the deadline for our second album was slowly creeping nearer and Fletch was slowly losing it.

I welcomed it, though, and I think everyone else did as well. It was a distraction from the shit that was going on, like Lee's court case. But we couldn't avoid it, as two weeks actually pass quicker than you think it does.

Shawna and I avoided the subject of our dead child like the plague. We didn't mention it after that one time in the hospital. It was too painful. But I knew we had to talk about it eventually, and that eventually came the night before Lee's trial. Shawna was lying on the sofa, as that was mostly all she could do whilst in recovery. I was sat on the floor with my acoustic guitar going over a song for our new album, and James was staying with Shawna's parents. That's when she said it.

"Dougie, I want a baby."

I froze. The noise of my guitar stopped, and my head snapped up to look up at her, where she now sat upright on the sofa. She had completely caught me off guard. I looked at her blankly. How was I supposed to respond to that? I mean… I was only eighteen! Sure, I wanted a kid, and I was devastated to lose our baby, but still…

"Getting shot like that… I realized how precious life is… and losing our baby…" she started to cry. Shit. I scurried off the floor and sat next to her on the sofa, hugging her gently, afraid to hurt her. I rubbed her back soothingly and she cried into my chest. I realized then I'd give her anything she ever wanted, and if a child was what she wanted, I'd give her one. It wouldn't make that much of a difference anyway. I already took care of James. Plus… I wanted it. I wanted to be a father.

"I-I'm sorry Dougie, I'm being stupid." Shawna shook her head, pulling away from me.

"No, you're not." I said, pulling her back into me. "If you're stupid, then so am I."

She gasped, and looked up at me, "Y-You mean, you want a baby?"

"Yes. Yes, I do." And as I said it, I realized how true it was. I kissed her softly, and her arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

* * *

_Harry_

I smirked as I watched Kimmy walk around in only my t-shirt. I finally won her over, over the course of two weeks. Dougie's advice was sound. The only one I couldn't take was the one to wait a long time before sex. Sorry, but no. Plus, she bloody threw herself at me! She was in a hurry, as she had to go and support Shawna as she spoke against Lee in court.

"Stop watching me, pervert." Kimmy muttered under her breath, making me laugh.

"How can I stop watching something so beautiful?"

She made a gagging noise, "If you don't stop with the cheese gestures, I will fucking leave." She warned.

"You love it really." I smirked.

"I really don't." she shook her head, putting on her dress, "Now are you coming to the trial or not? Because if you are, we're leaving now, I need to go home and change."

I sighed and nodded. Might as well.

* * *

_Tom_

I rubbed Gi's back as she threw up in the toilet. This pregnancy thing so far was a bitch. Every morning this happened – and not just the mornings either. Seriously, the term 'morning sickness' was misleading!

"Ugh, when will this end?!" she moaned, rubbing her mouth with the back of her hand.

"It'll be worth it." I assured her, kissing her neck.

"When do you think we should tell Dougie and Shawna?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Um… today, after the court? I don't see why not. We'll have to break it to them some time." I sighed. I don't want it to be like a kick in the face, but we have to tell them sometime and the sooner the better.

She nodded, and went to brush her teeth.

* * *

_Danny_

Gemma and I were getting ourselves ready for court. Gemma was nervous, knowing she'd have to see Lee again, but I know that she was also glad it was Shawna and some other girl and not her that had to speak against him. She was also scared to see the other women he had been… pursuing.

"Come on, Gem, we need to go over to Dougs." I sighed, as she stood frozen in front of the mirror. I grabbed her hand, and pulled her over to the bed and sat her down.

"You don't have to go if you feel like you can't do it." I told her, kneeling beside her.

"No. I need to." She said, standing up, surprising me. I shrugged and stood up as well.

"Ok. Let's go then."

* * *

_Dougie_

I really fucking hate suits. They gave me bad memories, since the only time I ever wear them is for court dates and funerals. I grudgingly grabbed the jacket and put it on. I have to admit, I do scrub up pretty nicely. I looked over at Shawna who was messing about with her hair. Seriously, what are girls' problems with their hair and make-up? They fucking look the same even after all the effort – well, to me anyway.

"You ready for this?" I asked her. She hadn't shown any signs of worry or nerves this morning – and with Shawna, that wasn't a good sign.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She said weakly. I hugged her from behind and kissed her neck.

"You'll be great, and then he'll be in jail, and hopefully afterwards an asylum."

"Since when are _you_ the optimist?" she scoffed.

"I've been spending way too much time with the guys. I actually miss my pessimist ways, it meant my expectations were a lot lower." I sighed, detaching myself from her. "Are you sure those heels are a good idea. I mean, you still haven't fully recovered." I said, eyeing her shoes doubtfully.

"Doug, stop worrying." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, I do worry." I mumbled. I had lost so much. I couldn't lose her, I just couldn't. She had no idea what she meant to me. She smiled and she walked over to me, wrapping her arms around me, and broke the serious atmosphere by saying:

"You look really fit in a suit." Trust her to brighten someone's mood.

"Why thank you." I laughed. "And might I say you look beautiful today, as always." she blushed a bright shade of red, giggling.

"We are here!" we heard Danny shout from downstairs. And the serious mood was back as I remembered what happened in a few hours.

"Why did I give them a key?" I groaned. Shawna just shook her head at me.

"Come on."

* * *

A man stood outside the courtroom. He examined everyone with quizzical eyes and kept silent, unmoving. He watched the hustle and bustle of people moving, preparing for the case. Solicitors arriving, the judge, the jury, spectators. They weren't who he was searching for, though. He hadn't come all the way from up north for them. Oh, no. He had come all the way from up north for his son. His son who had been arrested - wrongly at that.

He had visited his brother, and now he wanted to support his son. And go against his dearest nephew. He wanted payback. The doors opened, and he saw his son walk in, in the prison uniform, his hands cuffed, a panicked look on his face.

"Dad!" the teenager cried, seeing the familiar figure. "Dad! Help me!"

"I will." Kane Poynter promised his son.

Then the doors opened again, and an unmistakably familiar face greeted him. He hadn't seen him before, but he'd seen a face just like his everyday growing up.

* * *

**So Dougie's arrived, his uncle's there, Lee's there... will there be anyone else we should worry about there? I promise the next chapter will be more exciting!**


	33. Chapter 32

**I said I'd update this in the weekend, and it's a Bank Holiday in the UK, so that means a long weekend, so I'm not breaking any promises by updating this today! :)This is rather short, because I've literally only just wrote it really quickly... well not quickly, it took like an hour :) I have no idea what happens in court since I'm never been there, so this contains no dialogue since I don't want to give you false accounts. The next update will probably take a while, since my exams start next week and last over a month. I will update over that period only not often.**

**Don't own McFly to my dismay.**

* * *

_Dougie_

I knew it was him. I knew it was my uncle the moment my eyes landed on him. I knew who he was, and judging by the look on his face, he knew who I was. He was talking to Lee, but he stopped as he stared me down. Lee noticed him stopping and turned around. Shawna noticed his turning, and slightly stepped to the left so that I was before her. It took a lot to make Shawna cower, and that meant he hurt her more than she let on. I hated him. I hated him with every fibre of my being.

Kane Poynter was like my father's twin. It was scary how much they resembled each other. Same build – hard as nails for sure, they had the same ice blue eyes that I inherited, dark hair and an unfriendly look about them. I ignored them both as they stared both me and my friends down. I knew Lee was staring and Gemma and Shawna, and it took all of my strength not to march up to him and punch him until his insides bled. I knew it would do no good. He'd be arrested in a few hours anyway – if I did what I wanted, I'd be joining him.

I squeezed Shawna's hand as the police escorted Lee into the court room. Kane stayed put. I sighed and mumbled to the others to follow me into the court room. I tried to completely block Kane as we passed, but the man grabbed my arm and halted me. I motioned to the others to continue as I glared at my father's brother.

"Look. It is how it is." I told him bitterly.

"I know, but I also know that my son did no wrong." Kane Poynter's voice was gruff and deep, with an unmistakable edge to it.

"So domestic violence and stalking is right? Is it?" I said in disbelief. He said nothing. I shook my head, "I see the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

And with that I took my seat next to Shawna. I didn't want to deal with my uncle's shit to be honest.

"You alright, Doug?" Danny asked from the row behind me.

"Just some family bullshit." I sighed.

* * *

Shawna was more nervous than she let on to Dougie. Seeing Lee in the court building just made her nerves worse. She was glad for Dougie's presence; he made her relax a bit. He was like a comfort blanket – she knew if Lee tried something, Dougie would beat him into next year. Let's be honest, in a fist fight between Lee and Dougie, Dougie would win hands down.

The judge started talking, his monotonous voice filling the otherwise silent courtroom. Shawna looked around. The place was fairly empty; only the group, Lee's friends and family and the other girls and their families were there; spare the jury, lawyers and security. Shawna paid no attention to the judge, not even when the other girl that was giving evidence against Lee stood up and spoke. She was concentration too much on breathing. She was freaking out. What if Lee didn't get arrested? He'd be furious at her. He'd hit her again. And even if he did get sentenced, he'd come out eventually and he'd find her. What if he decided to turn on James? Sweet, innocent James who never did a thing to anyone?

she felt a hand grab hers and looked up at Dougie helplessly.

"I don't think I can do this." Shawna whispered, feeling tears enter her eyes.

"What are you talking about, of course you can." He murmured, rubbing the back of her hand, "You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can do this, you can."

She just shook her head. She had to admit, Dougie was right 99% of the time he corrected her. This was the 1% of the times he was wrong. She couldn't go up there. She couldn't swear on that Bible. She couldn't speak against him. She had completely seized up. He throat was lodged. She felt like she was choking. She could not speak.

She felt Dougie wrap his arms around her and he pulled her close. She felt his hot breath against her ear as he whispered in it;

"I know you can do this, because I remember back when we were thirteen and Nate and I was being dicks and you kicked me in the balls so hard afterwards I was sure I'd never be able to get kids. Two weeks ago, I found out that in fact, you didn't quite kick me hard enough because I can get kids, because I found out that you were pregnant. I know that you can do this; because you got shot and we found out we lost the kids. I know you can do this, because even after that, last night you told me you wanted a kid, even though you just suffered from losing a child. Most women would be too scared, but you're brave. You're facing the risk that we might lose the next one again. You're being optimistic. You're facing it head on.

"Now Lee Kennick used to beat you up, and this is your opportunity to face this problem head on. I know you _will_ do this, because you're hard as fuck and one of the most bad-ass people I know. I know this, because you have more balls than any man I know. I know you will face this issue and you will kick his ass and you will be sassy as hell doing it. Don't let him reduce you to the submissive coward he wants you to be – I know you aren't like that.

"You can do this because I love you and I will be with you right through it, supporting you. And if that fucker tries a thing, I will fucking mess him up."

Shawna looked up at Dougie and smiled weakly at him. He'd truly touched her with that speech, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, but knew they'd be kicked out if she did. She settled instead for kissing his cheek and thanking him, rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand. She truly loved him with everything she had.

Shawna heard her name being called out to the stand, and quickly looked Dougie in the eye before shakily making her way to the wooden podium, feeling all eyes on her.

Gemma watched her friend shakily sit on the seat, answering to the judge, swearing to speak only the truth on the Bible. She was glad it wasn't her. Shawna was so much stronger than her. Gemma let her eyes wonder to the bane of her existence. Lee Kennick. She couldn't wait to see him behind bars. She was hurt enough by him and felt trapped by his very existence. She couldn't wait to be truly free.

He caught her eye, and smiled slyly. He was slimy, and made her shudder. What did she ever see in him? She tightened her grip on Danny's hand. She felt sick by the sight of Lee. Her eyes wondered back to her friend in the stand. Shawna was sweating, treading carefully whilst reciting her story, not letting any detail out. How deep the cut was, how hard the punch was. How he sometimes refused her food after James was born if she had said something about her friends – whom of course, she couldn't see anymore.

Gemma couldn't help but think she had it easy. She thanked her lucky starts she left before it escalated to that. She knew she had it good with Lee compared to others. Her eyes trailed to Dougie in front of her, who looked livid. If looks could kill, Lee Kennick would be long gone.

Shawna finished her evidence and answered a few questions before returning to her seat. Gemma noticed Dougie gripping her hand and Shawna stopped shaking at the touch. Dougie whispered something in her ear to make her smile. Gemma couldn't help but think back to the Dougie before Shawna and compare him to this new Dougie. She had to admit, she never imagined that Dougie Poynter was a romantic foul, but it was obvious that he was irrevocably in love with Shawna Jackson, and it was obvious that those feelings weren't unrequited.


	34. Chapter 33

**We're nearly at the end guys :( It's been a ride. There will be one chapter after this and an epilogue. **

**I apologise for any mistakes in this add. It's midnight and I'm exhausted since I've had a busy week because I've finished school now (yay!). Having a social life is tiring, I prefer not having one.**

**Anyway, don't own McFly, but I own the plot and characters you don't recognize.**

* * *

_Dougie_

Lee was sentenced for a few years. I didn't pay attention to how long exactly, since all I needed to hear was that he was in jail and then the relief I felt was overwhelming. That was one problem dealt with. Kane Poynter was pissed off, and started swearing around the place, shouting, claiming that his son did no wrong. He got a little out of hand and assaulted a police officer.

I found Officer Sanders and thanked him for doing all he could to get Lee arrested, and he mentioned that Ryan and The Racketeer and everyone else that were involved were arrested 25 to life, and that the police all heard Lee and Ryan plotting something and since then they've been transferred to different wings and have been banned from having any visitors. My life was finally coming together.

We finished our second album, and it was due to be released in two months. Tom was acting like he desperately wanted to tell me something and it was like everyone else knew something I didn't and acting weird with Gi – making sure she was comfortable, that she had enough to eat and drink… He tried to tell me something after the court before I drifted off to see Sanders. I was getting worried – what if something was wrong with Gi?

I cornered Tom one day as we prepared to go for an interview with Radio 1. I needed to know. On the way to the studio, I stopped him.

"Dude, what the fuck is up with you?" I asked him bluntly.

"What?" he blinked.

"Something's up with you and Gi. What is it?"

"Oh, that… well, _I _tried to tell you after court but… yeah, I guess we got distracted. But… we found out on the day that you and Shawna fought against… yeah. Um, Giovanna's pregnant." Tom said looking awkward.

What? Their people didn't have young pregnancies! Wait… they knew that long? #

"Why didn't you tell me, man?!" I frowned at him.

"Well… you and Shawna just lost- it felt like we'd be rubbing it in your faces." Tom said sheepishly.

"Dude, we'd be happy for you! I am happy for you. Congrats!" I hugged him.

Sure, I was a bit gutted; but I was happy for him.

"Come on guys!" Fletch shouted at us.

"When is she due?" I asked Tom as we entered the studio.

"Sometime in August." Tom grinned. He was obviously happy, and relieved at my reaction.

"Warning dude. Women are bitches during labour, and they seriously mess up your hand."

* * *

Shawna listened to the girls cooing over her son as she waited upstairs. That's all she could do now. Wait. She sat cross-legged on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor, feeling as if she was suffocating in anticipation and anxiety. Why? Why the wait. She couldn't deal with all the waiting. She got up off the floor and started pacing. Up and down, up and down the room, her barefoot feet slapping against the hard tiles in a rhythm of impatience.

"Shawna? Are you alright?" was Ivy's cry of concern from the bottom of the stairs. Her friend had been gone for an abnormal amount of time to go to the bathroom.

"Fine! Just sorting some stuff out!" Shawna shouted back, glancing at the counter by the sink where the answer to her question lay.

"Do you need some help?" forever helpful was her friend. Shawna's heart skipped a beat. No, Dougie had to be the first to know if the news was good.

"No, no. You stay down there!"

"Ok,"

Shawna sighed in relief and checked her watch. The waiting was over. She picked up the white stick, and an award-winning grin graced her face. She threw the stick into the bin and skipped all the way downstairs where her friends were playing with James and joined in gleefully.

* * *

_Dougie_

I arrived home after a rather awkward interview and saw the sight of Shawna playing with James on the living room floor.

"Guess what Tom and Gi have been hiding from us ever since _that_ night?" I asked her.

"What?" she frowned.

"Gi's pregnant. Nearly two months along." I told her.

"Really? She was just here, she didn't show at all." Shawna murmured, then frowned, "Actually, she did wear baggier clothes than usual. I can't believe they didn't tell us!"

"Yeah, well they obviously thought it was a tender subject for us." I grimaced. She nodded.

"Um… Doug. I have some news of my own for you." She smiled.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

She was about to say something when a blood curdling cry echoed around the room. James had attempted to stand up and knocked his head on the corner of the coffee table, and was bleeding. Badly.

"Shit!" we both cursed. Shawna grabbed him quickly and hugged him tightly. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cloth and went to press it tightly against the wound.

"We have to go to the hospital. This is pretty deep." Shawna said, panicking.

"Oh shit! Ok. I'll call someone." I grabbed my phone and called Danny.

"Hey Doug." He answered cheerfully. I rushed through what was going on and asked him to take us to the nearest hospital.

Seconds passed and he was there. James' screeches were unbearable to listen to. They never stopped. He was taken from Shawna's arms upon or arrival to A&E, and Shawna sobbed into my t-shirt as we waited for some news from the doctors. Danny waited with us, even though I told him he could leave.

"What if he ends up brain-damaged? What if he dies? Oh, this is my entire fault!" Shawna wailed.

"It's not your fault Shawna. It could've happened to anyone. If anything it's _my_ fault." I told her.

"Hey, I have an idea." Danny interrupted the wailing. "Let's play a game of Never Have I Ever only with water."

"Seriously, Dan?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yes, I bet it'll cheer you up." Danny grinned, handing us a water bottle each. "Alright, I'll start. Never have I ever broken the law."

Shawna and I both drank, and Danny smirked.

"Ok, then. Never have I ever done drugs." I smirked at Shawna.

"Oh, you're a bastard." She muttered, taking a sip. What surprised me was that Danny also took a sip.

"Dude!" I gasped.

"What? We were in high school, and me and my mate messed about with weed this one time." He blushed.

"Ok, my turn!" Shawna smirked, "Never have I ever slept with someone I didn't love – or _think_ I loved."

Shit. I drank, as did Danny.

"Boys." Shawna tutted.

"My turn! Ok, so never have I ever been so drunk I've passed out."

I left my drink but Shawna took a sip.

"I take that this happened when I was away." She nodded in response sheepishly. "Alright, never have I ever l-"

"James Jackson?"

Shawna shot up to her feet and practically ran up to the doctor. I followed her like a sheep, feeling rather numb to be perfectly honest.

"How is he?" Shawna asked eagerly.

"He's unconscious at the moment. He's lost quite a bit of blood, but he'll be fine, a bit weak for a few weeks, and we'll have to keep him over-night in case he has a concussion." The doctor said.

"Can we see him?" Shawna asked.

"Are you family members?" oh she only thinks to ask that after she said everything!

"Yes, I am his mother and this is my boyfriend." Shawna grabbed my hand, and the female doctor finally looked at me and her mouth dropped. Ah, shit.

"Y-Y-Y-" she stuttered.

"Yeah, yeah, can we see him?" I asked impatiently.

"Sure, right down the hall to the left." The doctor said in a squeaky voice.

"Ay, Doug, Shaw, I'll be right here." Danny shouted from his seat. He had gotten a packet of crisps from somewhere. I nodded as I was pulled away by Shawna.

* * *

Shawna couldn't deal with witnessing her little baby like that. After a while of just staring at James lying helplessly on the hospital bed, she rushed to the bathroom to have a breather. She felt ill. She had gained something, and now she was losing something. She knew James would be ok, the doctor said so, but she still couldn't bear to see her son in pain.

A thought she hated crossed her mind; she needed a fix. She felt sick at the thought – she shook her head. She had her sanity now, and she wasn't letting it go again. She marched out of the bathroom and went to face her problems head on. She wasn't a coward.

She entered the room with fierce determination, but froze when she saw a sight that surely melted her heart. Dougie was sat on the hospital bed, a sobbing James in his arms, cradled. Dougie was murmuring to him that everything was going to be alright, when James said something that shocked both her and Doug.

"Dug, are you my new daddy?" Dougie visibly seized up. Shawna bit her lip, waiting to see if he'd answer the little boy.

"Um… James, I don't know. I guess I am." Dougie answered, unsurely.

"Yeah, you are." Shawna spoke softly.

Shawna slowly sat next to her boys. She took James into her arms gently and stroked his head, where there were now stiches.

"How are you feeling hon?"

"My head hurts, mummy." The little boy sniffed.

"I know, babe, just sleep it out." Shawna murmured.

Dougie wrapped his arm around Shawna as James' whimpering softened as sleep took over him. Shawna finally grasped the courage to tell Dougie the good news that she bared.

"Doug… I have some news to tell you." Shawna said softly.

"What?" Dougie nuzzled his head against Shawna's neck.

"I'm pregnant."


	35. Chapter 34

**Well this took a while! Well, mostly because I've been like ultra busy with exams and everything, and also because this is the longest chapter I've ever written. **

**I would like to thank everyone who reviewed because you're the ones that have made me want to continue to write this to the end. You are amazing.**

**I still don't own McFly. I have a plan though...**

* * *

**_Six months later_**

_Dougie_

"Shawna have you seen my plectrum?" I shouted. It was August, and McFly were starting on our tour in a week, and we had been practising non-stop. It was bad timing for a tour really, with Tom and Gi's baby coming in the middle of it, but Gi insisted that she would be ok, despite Shawna telling her how hard it is. Shawna told her that she would help her, though, saying that Gi had grossly underestimated the difficulty of taking care of a baby – let alone a new born.

"You've got plenty of them Doug, I'm sure you'll find _one_." She appeared out of the bathroom with a towel drying her hair.

"But I want my favourite one." I frowned, making her roll her eyes.

"Have you checked your pockets?"

I was stupid sometimes. Seriously. I put my hand in my left jean pocket and found it.

"What would I do without you?" I kissed her cheek.

"God knows." She shook her head.

"I'm going to practise. I'll be back lunch time." I told her.

"Ok, but don't be late!" she warned.

"Don't worry, I won't." I pecked her lips, "I'll pick up Jay from Kimmy's on the way home."

"Alright, bye!"

Life was good. Really good. I hadn't been so content for a long time… actually, I hadn't _ever_ been so content. I finally knew what I wanted in life. I finally felt like I had a family. Sure, I still had times where my old depression snuck up on me, came from behind. It was always there, in the back of my mind. I knew I still had a long way to go with my recovery. I found myself sometimes, when I'd be bored, anxious or down, absently scratching my wrists. But it never went further. Just scratching. The scars were faded now. Healing.

Tom and Gi were excited – as in, jumping up and down excited. And their excitement made everyone else excited. Shawna and I were more relaxed, content, and happy. James was thrilled. He couldn't wait until the arrival of his baby brother or sister, asking every day without fail if the baby was coming.

I arrived the studio where we practised and realised that I was the last one there.

"Hey guys." I greeted them.

"Hey dude! Guess what, Tom's gonna ask Gi to marry him!" Danny announced loudly. I blinked in shock. I did not expect that.

"Really?" I asked Tom, in complete surprise.

"Yeah, well… I'll wait until the end of the tour." Tom said, blushing slightly.

"Good for you!" I grinned, "How are you planning on doing it?"

I was happy for him. Sure, I thought him and Gi were rushing things a bit – people from their side often waited until their late twenties to do the things they were doing; getting married, starting a family.

"I was thinking of taking her to the place we met." Tom smiled, obviously day dreaming about it on the spot.

"Hey, Doug. You've been with Shawna for nearly six years right? Why don't you ask her to marry you?" Danny asked, freezing me.

"Uh- I- Uh- Um- I- I haven't really thought about it… I…" I stuttered, completely taken off guard. The guys all laughed at me and I felt myself blushing.

"Doesn't your lot usually marry at sixteen?" Tom raised his eyebrows.

"No! Not everyone. Most wait until they're at least twenty." I muttered, feeling myself get redder.

"Dude… you'll be _nineteen_ in November. You'll only get older." Harry warned teasingly.

"Fuck off!" I slapped him on the arm.

I sat down and let my thoughts take over. The truth is… I _had_ thought about asking Shawna to marry me. I really had. I wanted to marry her so much. She was the only girl I'd ever love, and I knew it. She was the one, and I knew that ever since I was thirteen. I had thought about it so much that I often caught myself looking at rings. But I was so terrified she'd say no. Plus I had _no idea_ how to do it.

"Doug! Doug!" I blinked to find Danny waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry." I sighed going to pick up my bass.

"Dude, what's up?" Danny asked, his hand on my arm.

"I… I…" I sighed. All eyes were on me. I coughed awkwardly. "Well… the thing is… I kind of _have_ been thinking of asking Shawna to marry me… I just haven't a clue how to do it."

"Aw! Dude!" the guys hugged me.

"What's going on here?" Fletch walked in.

"Tom and Doug want to ask Shaw and Gi to marry them!" Danny announced, looking as excited as a kid – no wait, as _Tom_ on Christmas.

"Oh bloody hell." Fletch sighed, "Just practise!"

* * *

_Harry_

Doug and I were walking home together as he has to pick up James. It amazed me how he had adopted James as his own so easily, especially as he was the child of his enemy. I don't think I'd ever be able to do that. We arrived my house and James clumsily ran up to Doug, obviously seeing the blonde as his daddy now rather than the man in prison.

"Daddy! Daddy! Is the baby coming?" Dougie rolled his eyes and picked the little one up.

"Nope not yet little dude. Wait another two months, yeah?"

"But I want the baby to come now!" James pouted. I just laughed at the scene.

"I know, mate. Have you behaved for aunty Kimmy?" Dougie asked him. James nodded enthusiastically. Dougie looked over at Kimmy who had joined the scene.

"He's been great." She grinned.

"You wanna go home and see mummy?" Dougie looked at the little boy, who nodded again as a response. "Thanks guys." Dougie looked at us.

"No worries Doug." I shrugged.

"Say good bye, Jay."

"Buh bye!" James waved at us, as Dougie left and we waved back.

"I'm so glad he's nothing like his biological dad." Kimmy sighed.

"Yeah, hey, Dougie admitted to us today that he's been thinking of asking Shawna to marry him." I told her.

"Really? Finally!" Kimmy sat down.

"What do you mean, finally? They're only nineteen." I laughed.

"Yeah, but usually after a couple's been together for two years in Crackstreet, they get married." Kimmy shrugged.

"Really. Well, they_ have _had like a three year hiatus from their relationship." I pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess." Kimmy admitted.

The phone started ringing and I sighed and stood up, going to answer it. I frowned when I saw that the caller ID was Tom.

"Hey Tom,"

"Dude. Gi's having the baby." Tom's voice came out in a high pitched squeak. Shit.

"Oh… Um… Crap, uh, do you need me to drive you there or..?" I asked uncertainly.

"Plea-" he was cut off by a loud cry of agony. "Gi, breathe!" I heard Tom say, "Uh, yeah, Harry can you hurry?"

"I'll be right there, Tom." I hung up and grabbed my coat. Kimmy stared at me wondering what the hell was going on.

"Gi's in labour." I explained. It was like a light bulb had turned on as she grabbed the coat and we both hurried to the car.

* * *

_Dougie_

James was up on my shoulders as we arrived home, playing with my hair. He'd been chatting all the way home about how he was going to teach his brother and sister all kind of things and that they wouldn't sleep in his room because it was _his_ and he liked to keep his teddy Fluffy to himself. The boy was freakishly intelligent for a boy that wasn't even two years of age.

"Mummy we's home! Mummy, daddy say baby still not coming." The boy shouted out to Shawna.

"Really?" Shawna appeared from the living room, "But, guess what, aunty Gi's baby is coming." She said, making my eyes widen in size.

"Really?" I put the boy down from my shoulders.

"Yep. Danny just called now. Harry's taking them to the hospital now. Danny's coming to pick us up in a minute." Shawna grinned.

"God that was sudden." I murmured.

"And when he came wasn't?" Shawna smirked, referring to when she went into labour with James.

"That was certainly scarring to a sixteen year old without a clue what to do and that was being screamed at by his ex-girlfriend. Not to mention he'd been drinking." I commented.

"That was a magical night." Shawna sighed.

"I'm not sure magical is the word for it." I laughed, and kissed her lightly. Suddenly Shawna pulled away and gasped.

"What?" I frowned.

Shawna's face morphed into one of panic.

"No, no, no… it's too soon." She gasped out.

"What's too soon – oh, fucking shit fuck crap." It dawned on me that Shawna's water just broke.

"It's too soon, Dougie, it's too soon." She had bent over in pain. I was in full panic mode. The baby wasn't due until early November. Would this mean the baby will be still born, or die?

"Baby coming?" James asked innocently, confused at why Shawna and I looked so panicked.

"Uh, yeah, mate. The baby's coming." I said weakly.

"Hey guys, you ready?" we heard Danny's voice before we saw him.

"What's going on?" Gemma asked, coming in behind Danny.

"Baby coming!" James said brightly.

Danny and Gemma's faces were a picture to see, but Gemma's immediately returned to be composed as she shouted out orders.

"Ok, Dougie go and pack some things for the hospital, Danny you watch James and I'll help Shawna to the car." She said sternly. Danny and I stared at her dumbfounded. She glared at us "Go!"

I rushed up the stairs and to Shawna and I's room. I grabbed a bag and threw some stuff into it, not really knowing what. I returned back down in seconds and quickly joined everyone in the car. It was a sight to be seen. Danny was driving, trying not to speed in his panicked state, Gemma was in the front next to him with an over-excited James on her lap, and Shawna was screaming in the back with me trying to keep her calm.

"You did this to me!" she accused me angrily.

"Yes I know and I'm sorry." I sighed. I went through it once, I could do it again.

"Why is it coming early? Why?" she started to cry. Fuck.

"Ok, Shawna, breathe." I looked into her eyes, "I need you to calm down and breathe for me Shawna, ok." She nodded, looking terrified. "Can you do that? Now, in." she breathed in, "and out." She exhaled. We kept that routine up for about five minutes before she had another contraction and cried out in pain.

"Why is mummy in pain?" I heard James innocently ask. Gemma quickly shushed him.

"Ok, Shaw, breathe it out." I murmured, rubbing her arms.

Thankfully, we arrived the hospital and Shawna was immediately rushed to a room. Gemma offered to watch James for us, thankfully. A midwife explained that because the baby's coming three months early, there will be significant risks, and will have to keep both Shawna and the baby in for a while so that they could check over them thoroughly and monitor them and so on. Shawna was given an epidural so she was in less pain and stopped screaming at me. She just cried now. I was too exhausted to. I offered to go and call her family, and walked out of the room to the corridor.

"Doug? Wh- Shawna's not in labour as well, is she?" I spun around to see Tom walking towards me.

"Yeah, she is. How's Gi doing?" I tried to sound strong.

"She's fine. But isn't Shawna..?" Tom frowned.

"Three months early. There's a chance the baby won't survive." I said weakly, my strong façade fading away.

"Oh, shit dude." Tom bit his lip.

"Yeah, well, we don't know yet so… yeah." I shrugged, I looked down at the phone in my hand, "I have to call Mr and Mrs Jackson."

"Ok." Tom nodded. I knew he didn't know what to say to me, so I just walked away.

The phone call to Shawna's parents went pretty quickly, and then I decided to call Aunt Jodie and Charlotte. That took a while as talking to an over excited teenager and her mother was more challenging. I put my mobile back in my pocket and sighed, leaning against the wall. I couldn't bear losing another baby. I just couldn't.

"Poynter!"

I supressed a groan as I recognised Kimmy's voice. I turned to face her. I had no energy to deal with her right now.

"How's my sister?" she asked.

"Fine at the moment. We don't know if the baby'll live though." I sighed.

"Oh, ok. Mum just called me; she said that she's on her way." Kimmy said. I just nodded.

We were silent for a while before I sighed, "I better go back in there." Kimmy nodded and I walked back towards Shawna's room.

Just ask I walked in I heard a nurse say the words, "Ok, Shawna, you're ready to push."

Fuck. I sat by Shawna's side and grabbed her hand. She looked at me with fear filled eyes. "You can do this." I told her seriously, knowing that her reluctance wasn't because of the pain, but because of the prematurity of the baby. I braced myself as she began to push. That girl had one hell of a grip.

It wasn't long before I heard the cries. I looked up to see the smallest baby I'd ever seen held by a midwife.

"Congratulations on a baby girl." The nurse announced. "We need to do a series of check-ups on her very quickly."

Shawna nodded. She looked exhausted. "She's so tiny." She breathed. I nodded. She was a lot smaller than James had been.

"She's alive, though." I said, relief washing over me.

The nurse came back, looking rather pleased. "As far as we can see she's ok, but we'll need her to stay over for a week in an incubator." The nurse said, handing the baby over to Shawna. "You can hold her for a little while."

"She looks just like you." Shawna smiled up at me. I sat next to her on the bed to get a better look at me baby girl. I shook my head.

"No, she looks just like Jazzie." I realised, feeling tears in my eyes.

"I was thinking that we should call her Jasmine." Shawna said suddenly. I blinked. I hadn't expected that.

"Really?" I looked at my girlfriend, surprised.

"Yeah," she smiled.

I looked down at my daughter and smiled, "Yeah, we should, but I think we should use Jasmine as a middle name." I murmured.

* * *

_Tom_

I looked down at my son in my arms. He was perfect. Giovanna smiled tiredly. I turned to look at my mum and Gi's parents. "Here's Oliver Matthew Fletcher." I told them.

"Oh, isn't he beautiful." My mum grinned, and then looked at me, "You didn't have to name him after your father." Recognising the name Matthew.

"I know, but I felt like it was right." I smiled weakly.

Suddenly the room exploded and all my friends, spare Doug and Shawna were there.

"Oh Gi, he's gorgeous!" Rachel exclaimed.

"I want one." Gemma turned to Danny, who looked terrified.

"Oh God, I hope Shawna and her baby will be ok." Kimmy murmured, clinging onto little James.

"They will be. They have to be." Ivy muttered.

"Wait, I have a text from my mum. They're fine!" Kimmy announced.

"Really?" Jess asked, "What does the text say?"

"It says, Doug and Shaw's baby has been born. She's – oh they have a girl! - she's fine and has been given the name Amy Jasmine Poynter."

"Oh that's a beautiful name." Giovanna commented.

"Yeah, mum goes on to say the baby has to spend a week in an incubator because she's so early."

"I would think so. It's a miracle there's nothing wrong." Jess said.

"We're going to see Doug and Shaw, ok." Kimmy said, indicating her and Harry.

"Of course, she's your sister, go ahead." I told them.

"I hope this marks the end of the crazy for a while." Danny sighed.

"Yeah, I bloody hope so." Adam agreed.

"Yeah," I murmured, looking down at my son. He didn't deserve a hectic life.

* * *

**So yeah, that's the end, unless you want an epilogue. It isn't essential to the story but yeah. Tell me if you want an epilogue. It's just that I'm too busy to post one and it turns out no one will read it.**

**So yeah, it's been one hell of a ride. I would like to thank everyone who's read this and Crossing Paths, you guys are amazing. Seriously. Thank you so much.**


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